Just for the Record

I know that I'm going to get comments asking what I did last night with my free time. Just for the record, I want you to know that I did the most fabulous thing . . . 3 more loads of laundry! ;) Can you even believe I had that much???? Holy smokes!!! Between yesterday and this morning, I've washed, FOLDED, and PUT AWAY 10 (TEN) loads of laundry! What the heck were we wearing???

And the other day when the girls were all taking a nap, many of you asked what kind of fun I had, well, here it is - I cleaned my fish tanks. Amazing, huh? I've morphed into a crazy person (ie - my mother). I have free time on my hands and what do I do, jump for joy and then start cleaning again. I'm insane. But at the same time, when you've got three children, it IS kind of a break to clean undisturbed. Weird.

Sorry for the downer . . .

Feeling better now. A day filled with folding and putting away 6 - 7 loads of laundry will do that! :) ha ha. But I am feeling better - just thought I'd share. Thank the Maker that it isn't raining outside today! Cold? Yes. Breezy? Yes. Children still want to go outside? YES!  

Strangely enough (despite the sarcasm) doing all that laundry has been oddly satisfying. My cousin, Amber, called me this afternoon - a little bummed because her hubby is going to be gone for the next couple of days. I gave her some fabulous sympathy and then got off the phone with her to call Nels and find out when he'll be home. He's thinking that he'll stay late tonight. Amber, I sympathize a little bit more. I felt bad for myself for a little while --- not as if I can't survive a night without Nels, we've done that a lot, but mostly because after cleaning all day, FIRST - it's nice to get a little recognition ("Wow, Rachel! The house looks GREAT! You must be the best wife in the world and you worked really HARD today!!! You are amazing and beautiful and fabulous! I am so lucky! You are the best and hardest working woman that ever was!" --- Yeah, kind of what I was hoping for! :)  ), SECOND - I really didn't want to get the girls all fed and ready for bed all by myself after said day. Then I started to realize that I can feed the girls anything I want and feed them earlier than I would have otherwise and get them in bed right after they are done. THEN I have the entire night to myself to do anything I want because the house is clean. I can watch some silly chick flick and play around with my beads or fabric or ribbon.

This is going to be a good night after all. I'll make sure to post whatever I work on tonight.

And you know, you may think that doing laundry all day isn't that exciting, but when you've got a good book on your ipod and this sweet little face smiling at you all day, it's not so bad . . . :)

I'm never cleaning my house AGAIN

Seriously, I don't know why I even bother. Since i woke up this morning I've been cleaning --- kind of sad that there is that much cleaning to do . . . but hey. Anyway, I've vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, swept the floor, dusted, dressed the children in clean clothes, and put Elsie down for a nap. In a matter of 3 minutes - all undone. At least that's what it feels like. I come downstairs to clean up the laundry room, put another load in, and put some music on my ipod. The big girls are outside playing. They run in the house, slam the door, start screaming at the top of their lungs, and go in the bathroom. I can hear Elsie start crying. I go upstair to quiet them down. There is mud smeared across the entire kitchen floor and into the bathroom. On the toilet, on the floor, ALL over the sink and faucet, ALL over their clothes. I stick them back outside. Rock Elsie back to sleep. Lock the back door. Come downstairs to finish taking care of the laundry. Girls come in through the front door this time, into to kitchen, get into the buns covered with cornmeal and proceed to eat them all over the living room (chair and couches included), all down the hall, all around the kitchen and up to the countertop. 

Vacuuming, sweeping - wasted. Clean bathroom - now covered in mud. Clean clothes - covered in mud. Elsie's "nice long nap" - now over after an HOUR. Happy mom - gone. (((SIGH)))

Snake Lake

Today was cold and rainy. (Happy Memorial Day!!!) The sun decided to show it beautiful face for a few minutes and we decided to go check out some fun, new spots on the Snake River. By the time we got there, Mr. Golden Sun had decided to run for cover. (((sigh))) However, the girls still had a little fun at "Snake Lake" TRYING to throw little sticks in (I say 'try' as every time they'd chuck it, it would fly backward with the wind) and occasionally getting a pine cone in.

Lilie "fishing". She was certain that she could reach them!

Hazel's "Martian" rock. Where does she learn this stuff?

Awesome!

I am . . .

got this blog tag from my friend Rachel. I have many tags that I need to respond to, but this one seemed like an easy, fun, fast one. I'm working on all the others . . .

I AM...

i am: Rachel - happy, imperfect, (happily imperfect???) learning . . .

i think: too little. I think I run on autopilot a lot lately.

i know: that the plan the Lord has for us is real. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I know my Savior lives. I know I'm doing okay. I know I could do better.

i want: to be a better mom and wife. I want to be more financially secure. I want to accomplish more - probably more than I am capable of achieving. I want to have more dedication.

i have: 3 beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. I have a wonderful, peaceful, steady life.

i wish: hair and makeup did itself, that beds made themselves and laundry folded and put itself away.

i hate: feeling misunderstood.

i miss: my grandparents. I've felt a real loss in not really knowing any of my grandparents as an adult.

i fear: death. Not that I fear dying per se. More the fear of leaving my children and husband. Or them leaving me. I've thought about it extensively, it just doesn't work out for any of us to die.

i feel: peaceful, happy, and irritated all at the same time.

i hear: Hazel yelling at me to get her out of the bath and splashing from Lilie.

i smell: cooked broccoli and shampooed hair.

i crave: a hot, steamy bath and a really good book.

i search: for knowledge. I love to learn.

i wonder: If Nels will come home before midnight. If the girls will fall asleep in the next 2 hours. . .

i regret: yelling at my children.

i love: laughing, learning, reading, sewing, my fish, families, a clean house, rain, grass, the smell of lilacs, gardens, organization, camping, my husband, the laughter of my children (even when they are supposed to be asleep), music, singing, life . . .

i ache: for more patience and kindness.

i care: about the appearance of my home.

i always: feel anxious when I sleep in too late.

i am not: quiet. poised.

i BELIEVE: that I can have more balance in my life. Too often I'm all or nothing.

i dance: poorly and secretly. Sometimes when I'm cleaning the house. How can you not when you're listening to Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself"?

i sing: when I am happy or to relieve stress. I sing less than I used to. Sometimes I sing to bother my children. :)

i cry: when I am frustrated or mad. It's really embarrassing and just makes me more frustrated and mad.

i don’t always: shave my legs.

i fight: when I am tired.

i write: to remember and to think. To put things in perspective.

i win: at Nintendo 64's James Bond. Nels has never beat me.

i lose: the battle of modesty in our home too often.

i never: want to go to bed early. I never read books with Nels anymore.

i confuse: my children's names. Hazelilie. Lelsie.

i listen: I TRY to listen to what someone is saying, even when that's not what's coming out of their mouth.

i can usually be found: at home with my children.

i am scared: of my own procrastination on things of importance.

i need: laughter, sunshine, exercise.

i am happy about: the life I have. I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend. He works so hard to take care of our family. I have three children who I love more than life. They are smart and happy. I am happy about the choices I have made in my life that have brought me to where I am and have made me what and who I am.

From the Jar

My friend Clancy got a "journal jar" in high school and has finally decided to pull out one of the different journaling topics every Wednesday and blog about it. I am going join Clancy in answering these questions and journaling a bit every Wednesday. I invite each of you to do so as well, if you so desire.

WARNING: This is very long and mostly for my own sake!

First topic (actually last week's):

Tell about the birth of your children. If you haven't yet had children, tell what you know about your own birth.

Hazel:

Hazel was born 10 days before her due date. Nels and I had gone on a walk the night before and when we came back to our little apartment we sat down at the computer to do . . . I don't remember. :) As we were sitting there, I noticed that I'd started to have some very small "contractions" about 5 - 6 minutes apart. (I put this in quotes because I wasn't even sure that's what was happening.) Being 12 days before my due date, I didn't want to get overly excited, so I didn't say anything to Nels that night and we went to bed.

The next morning I noticed that I was still having them and decided that I should probably say something to Nels before he headed off to school for the day. (He was kind of annoyed that I didn't tell him the night before.) He called me at about noon - still coming 5 minutes apart - so he came home. Called the doctor and went into his office at about 3. He told us I was definitely in labor and to wait 2-3 hours and head to the hospital.

Got there at 6, just as my contractions were starting to be a little painful, and the midwife came in to break my water about 5 minutes after we got into the room. This was kind of scary, considering I had no idea what was going on! I really wasn't sure if I wanted an epidural or not, so I decided to wait. Nels and I walked around the floor for several hours. Looking back, I'm glad that I didn't choose to have an epidural the second I walked in the door. I had wanted to really have the chance to "experience" labor and KNOW that I needed it when I did. By about 11 I definitely had decided that I was ready and had dilated to about a 7 or 8. As the anesthesiologist went through risk factors, I started to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea --- I really HATE the thought of needles going into sensitive areas of my body --- then another contraction came and I didn't care if I could die or be paralyzed anymore.

My parents showed up just about the time they were giving me the epidural. I was then able to relax and visit for a few hours with my parents and Melyni (Nels' youngest sister who was also living in Rexburg at the time). Hazel Alice was born at 2:41 AM after pushing for about 45 minutes or so. She was so beautiful and perfect. She was SO alert. As I held her she just sat quietly looking around with big, wide eyes. Staring at me and her daddy.

I was so thankful that my parents had been able to come! My mom was in Nursing school at the time at the University of Utah and shortly after Hazel was born, they got back in the car and headed back home so my mom could make it to class the next morning! :)

Lilie:

Lilie was also born early. 13 days. Two weeks before my due date, I took Hazel for a walk across town to the park. I honestly was NOT trying to go into labor. With a 17 month old, I remembered all to well what it was like to have a new baby and I WAS NOT ready. As we sat down to dinner that evening, my back started to ache. Nels told me to go take a bath while he got Hazel ready for bed, so, of course, I did. While laying in the bath, I had a revelation and started timing the distance between "aches". Five minutes.

We had moved into the trailer where we were living 6 months before and had been using the extra bedroom as storage. I had been planning to clean it out that weekend. Needless to say, we started cleaning it up as quickly as we could. Went to sleep that night and didn't sleep well at all. I had first been frustrated that I was having contractions - as I didn't feel prepared - but once we started, I definitely didn't want them to stop! (8 1/2 months of pregnancy will do that to a person!) By the next morning, my fear was realized and my contractions had all but stopped. I would have an occasional one every hour or so. I was so frustrated! Throughout the day they fluctuated between being about 10 minutes apart and 2 hours. Finally around 10 or so, they started to be more regular and we headed to the hospital. I was SO WORRIED that they were going to stop again and send me home - which they almost did until they realized that I was dilated to a 5 and the doctor was merciful.

We got all checked in by about 11, got the epidural at about 2 and fell asleep for about 2 hours. I woke up and told the nurse that I thought she probably should check me. She said that I was doing good and she'd check the next time she came in. --- I called her back in within 10 minutes and told her that she REALLY needed to check me. She did and got frantic, "Oh my! The baby's RIGHT THERE!" DUH! That's why I told you earlier. Doctors and nurses rushed around like crazy to get ready. Two pushes later, Lilie Jane entered the world at 4:45 am. The doctor laughed as she was being born, saying that she was the first baby he'd delivered that he could have braided her hair before she was even born! She had SO much pretty, blonde, wild hair!

Elsie:

This is so weird. I was sure that I had chronicled Elsie's birth in my blog after she was born . . . I could swear I did. Regardless, I can't find it and am recording it now!

Elsie Marie was born one week before her due date. I know I should be grateful that all three of my children were born early, but with Elsie, she teased me for more than a month before - so it didn't FEEL like she was early. For the last two months of my pregnancy I would regularly have contractions every 5 - 10 minutes apart that would last for about an hour or two and then disappear. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind! At my appointments I was never dilated to more than a 2. (At about 32 weeks I had woke up having hard contractions ever 3 - 5 minute. They eventually went away after about 3 hours. Several weeks later the same thing happened again and we actually ended up going to the hospital to make sure everything was okay, only to have the contractions stop the moment I stepped through the doors.)

Finally, two days after Hazel's 4th birthday, I had a checkup and that sweet doctor stripped my membranes. I started having some nice, strong, consistent contractions within an hour. I took the girls over to the park and walked and walked and walked about 3 miles. The entire time I was walking I had nice, painful contractions 3 - 5 minutes apart. We called Nels and we went out to dinner at Bajio - still having good contractions. Called Melyni and Alma at about 7:30. Drove to back to Rexburg. During the drive, they slowed down a little bit, so before we checked in, we went to the park and walked for another 45 minutes or so. Finally checked in, got hooked up to their stupid little monitor and they slowed down again. The nurse sat and looked at me like I was an idiot. Lovely. About the time she was starting to lose faith in me, I started back up and they FINALLY got me into a room at about 10.

I got an epidural at about 11 or so. At 12 I started to feel like my epidural wasn't working very well. They came in and turned it up a few minutes later. It didn't help. By 12:30 I told the nurse that I was in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure by that point it wasn't working at all and Elsie was coming, NOW! After crawling up the bed and battling with the desire to push and have it over with and the fear of the pain, I braved up and Elsie was born at 12:55.

Such a sweet little thing. The only time I heard her cry during her entire birth was when they gave her a bath. From the very beginning she was so calm.

Pretty little Chickies!

Swimming in the Dirt

For Mother's Day Nels rototilled our garden. This poor garden had been neglected for at least 8 years and was over grown with weeds, grass, and yard crud. We spent Saturday & Monday getting it all ready to be planted and the girls and I have now finished (mostly)! We are so excited to finally have a garden!!!

Monday gardening was "Family Home Evening". --- I'm sure this will be the first of many nights spent as a family in the garden. Nels did such a wonderful job talking to the girls about our garden and the FIRST garden. Talking about Adam and Eve. It was a wonderful little lesson as we slaved away. The funniest part was trying to keep the girls from walking across the newly mounded rows (that's funny???) and Nels telling the girls about how when Adam and Eve disobeyed, they were thrown out of the garden. At about that time (for the millionth time) the girls walked down another row and "got locked out of the garden" for disobeying. Good object lesson, no?

Saturday was a glorious day and the girls, of course, needed to play in the sprinkler. --- Hence the swimsuits and the dirt-digging. :)

Beautiful, cheesy girl!!! So happy on the swing set!

Pledging allegiance to her mother!! :)

This past weekend has been yet another affirmation of the fact that Elsie is the most wonderful baby ever born! :) While we cleaned the garden, she sat in this little swing for AT LEAST 2 hours! She then took a nap and came back out later, sitting in her exersaucer for another hour or so. She would just sit there, happy, watching --- occasionally one of the girls would push the swing for her --- and every time someone would turn in her direction, she'd just smile from ear to ear and laugh. We love her so much!!! She is so happy and so sweet! She loves to laugh and play! She's so fun!

Hazel's Words

So, I obviously think the conversation in my previous post is hilarious! Well, Nels was relating it to me later that day I started laughing so hard! As I was laughing, Hazel came in and asked what I was laughing about. I told her that I was laughing at her and how funny she is.

She says, "Oh, are you laughing at my words?"

Yes, Hazel. I'm laughing at your words!

Beatings!

Every Sunday we TRY to get ready early enough to walk to church. This Sunday, we were acutally doing AWESOME until I remembered that I needed to be to choir practice 40 MINUTES early! So I was rushing around and decided I'd just have to drive and Nels could walk with the girls. This is the conversation Nels had with Hazel and Lilie in the living room while trying to get their shoes on them.

Hazel: "Is mom going to walk with us?"

Nels: "No, Mom's got to get there early, so she's going to drive."

Hazel: "Are we going to beat Mom?"

Nels: "No, Mom's going to beat us."

Hazel to Lilie: "Lilie! We're going to beat Mom and Mom's going to beat us, and we're going to beat each other!"

LOL! I can't even write this now without laughing my head off! I guess my kids know a lot about beatings! :) LOL!

Laughter!

You guys all make me laugh so hard! I'm really not "despairing" ~~~ maybe. LOL! I just like the drama! :) Which is kind of funny and weird. I'm not an overly dramatic person in the way I deal with things, but with the mundane - I really love to ham it up. Hmmm. I AM weird. And AWESOME.

My YOUTH is GONE!

"The old, gray mare, 

she ain't what she used to be!"

Gone are the last remains of my youth. This is a sad day. (((sigh)))

This morning as I was getting ready, my hair was parted funny and I saw a lone "very light" colored hair sitting on top my head. I smiled. I've found maybe 2 grey/white hairs in the past 3 years or so. Not unusual. So . . . of course I pull it out. Then I think, "I wonder if there are anymore." So I look through my hair. . . (((sigh)))

I haven't noticed, because my hair is blonde (albeit DARKENED considerably since childhood and even high school) and I put highlights through my hair this winter. There are . . . too many to count . . . especially at the sides of my face. This was quite shocking to go from ONE to HUNDREDS within minutes!!! 

My one consolation?? I am not alone. I know that at least Melissa (sister) and Ben (brother) have the same problem - and probably worse! :) :) Actually . . . typing that makes me feel A LOT better!! :)  . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. But I'm still starting to go gray! There it is. There's that despair again.

(((SIGH))) THE OLD GRAY MARE, SHE AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE!

Late Mother's Day Present!

Okay, this is going to have to be a record-breaking post for speed! Time is of the essence! This is too good to not enjoy thoroughly!!!

Do you see what I am seeing!!!????

Three little girls --- ALL sleeping --- ALL at the SAME time!!!! Oh my! I don't believe I have seen this happen in YEARS! At least not unless it's a Sunday afternoon and Daddy is in charge for an hour or so!!! (And even then, I'm not certain about ALL THREE!) This is amazing!

Spring in the Tulips

We've got tulips growing up in our grass in the backyard! How weird! What beautiful, happy girls I have!!! They are the best of friends! I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father sent them so close! They NEED one another!!!

A Day with Five Little Monkeys

My sister, Melissa, had a new little baby this past week! We are SO excited to have little Alaina here! While she was in the hospital, her two older girls stayed with Grandma & Grandpa. The girls and I decided that Grandma's house wasn't busy enough and headed down to Utah to add to the craziness! :)

FIVE little girls at Grandma and Grandpa's house! The zoo was a natural choice of entertainment!

The MONKEY house.

The elephants were FANTASTIC! Did you know that
elephants can paint pictures and kick balls!?
They are SO fun to watch!
I think the elephants are my new
favorite animal at the zoo!

Maddie did NOT like these big,
stinky "ammals"! All big things she
didn't like were "Ammals". :)
(Rhinos, bears, monkeys . . . )

Hazel, Karlie, Lilie

Elsie, on the other hand, LOVED the elephants!

Mama and baby orangutan in the background.

BIG kitty!
Elsie loves our cat, Gertie, and thought
this BIG kitty was very entertaining!

Five sweet little girls!
(Lilie, Hazel & Elsie, Madilyn, and Karlie)

It was a rainy day to begin with, but before we came,
it cleared up! Throughout the day, it got progressively
stormier and started to rain quite hard
while we were in the big "Bird House",
on the FAR end of the zoo!
On the walk back the girls loved being duckies
in the puddles and catching the raindrops!

What a wonderful day! If any of you have never visited the Hogle Zoo, I HIGHLY recommend it!

Gratitude

Tired today. So tired. Tired girls, tired mom. It's so nice to visit family, I love them so much! I love my mom. She is my best friend! I am so thankful that the Lord sent me to her. She is an inspiration to me and teaches me so much! I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for such a blessing. She has helped to shape me into the person I am and gives me direction on the person that I want to be. She loves beautiful things and colors, she cares for people truly, she is hardwired to serve, to move, to give. It doesn't seem to take any conscious thought - that's just who she is. She sees people for who they really are and is so very sensitive to the Spirit. She loves the Lord and I genuinely believe that the deepest desire of her heart is to serve him - to be like him.
I feel so very grateful for the women who have gone before me. For my mother, for grandmothers that I hardly knew or didn't know at all, but I can feel them. I can feel their spirits and the strength that they carried with them throughout their lives as I read about them, hear their stories, and in the lives that my parents live - they people they choose to be - and even in myself - in my children.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

I think I must be sick

I think it's called blogstipation! :) I know that all of you are just DYING to hear what has been rambling through my little brains, but you know . . . not much. I think I've been running on autopilot for the past few weeks. Weird.

Hmmm. What have I done? I've been trying to be a better mom - Probably the #1 reason I haven't been blogging as much. And overall, I've been doing pretty good. Not quite so much yelling - we're just going to exclude this morning from that betterness. :) This was not a good morning - well more like about one hour was not quite so pleasant. I have a hard time with question after question about "Why is it taking so long?" "Are you done yet?" "What are you doing?" "Why is it taking so long?" "Am I almost done?" Even with 8 inches less hair to do . . . *sigh*. I think it must be a stage for 4 year olds - or maybe just THIS 4 year old. EVERYTHING seems to "take so long." Ah well. She's a sweetie and she forgives me when I fly off the rocker. With Lilie, I just try to not talk at all. It doesn't help - neither does trying to be soft. As soon as I pick up the brush, she starts screaming, so I just yank through it as fast as I can. :) I don't feel too bad about the fact that Elsie doesn't have much hair yet. 

Speaking of Elsie, she cut her first tooth this past week, she loves to shake her head back and forth and thinks it is a grand game if she can get someone to do it with her, and she is just an all around pleasant baby! She truly brings so much joy to our home! Within the past few days, her pulling up to things has morphed. She still holds on to things to stand, but it's transforming. She is stabilizing herself and balancing much more on her own. She is beginning to cruise around things that are close to one another and along things like the couch and the bathtub. Just a little bit, but she's doing it. Crazy little mutant! She turned 7 months yesterday. 

Today Lilie and Hazel wanted to walk home from church --- truth to tell, I did too, but high heels are not the shoe for strolling. So, because I was wanting to walk as well, I nominated myself as their companion, while Nels drove home with Elsie. But it wouldn't have been half as much fun if we didn't decide to race Daddy home, SO I kicked off my heels and RAN home with the girls barefoot! :) It was so much fun and it's nice to know that even after 20 years, my feet have not lost that tough moccasin quality they gained as a child - running wild across the blistering asphalt in our subdivision! :) AND we DID beat Nels! :) We're so fast - me and my girls! :)

Nels and I got most of the piles of rocks and dirt out of our front yard Friday! My back muscles have been telling me how "happy" they are about it for the past couple of days! :) But you know, it made a nice little date night! :) ha ha! Me and my Sweetheart, out in our front yard, shoveling an entire pickup full of rocks! We talked about how although hard labor is not the most exciting thing to do, it's convenient that we're both built for it. And it's satisfying as well - to see the progress. I'll have to post some lovely pictures of our "lovely" yard tomorrow. It's slowly coming along! 

Last week we took the girls to the Zoo. That was fun! It's been a long time since we've been as a family! I love the zoo and the girls had a good time. Afterward we took them over to a little amusement park adjacent to the zoo. I took the girls on the little ferris wheel they have and I must say . . . I think I'm a little bit of a wusy. Every time we would come over the top and start down, I'd have to close my eyes because it gave me the squeenchies (LOL - Clancy! What a fabulous word!). I had to pretend so hard to be brave for my little ladies! (Now you have to understand that this ferris wheel has to be at least 50 years old and it's small enough that it goes kind of fast!) Anyway - we had lots of fun in the 45 degree weather. 

We're doing well! Looking forward to the Spring sunshine, a new little niece in 2 days, and the wonderful things planned for the next few months! I love Spring time! And Fall. What wonderful beauty there is in the changing of the seasons! I love it. 

(Well, I think I cured the blogstipation, what do you think?) LOL!