Yikes! I was terrified.
But do you know? Do you know that God is good? So good?
Last time I wrote I was in Utah. It was a lively ten days. Exhausting, but I felt so glad that I could help and spend time with my family in the process. I fell even more in love with my nieces and nephews and got to spend a lot of quality time with my amazing Genny. (I love her!)
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| picnic with 12 little munchkins and my Genny |
Late in the week, because I'm a sucker for both wild spontaneity and the mountains of my childhood, I decided that I'd join Genny and (her) Ben on an overnight trip up to the cabin . . . towing along my TEN charges. We were all wearing a little thinner by Friday and a few mountains to roam and explore were just what we needed.
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| Moon Cabin + delphiniums |
We pulled up to the cabin late and after tucking the giggling mass of bodies into beds, I headed out into the night air. Wrapped in a blanket, I sank onto the warm deck and soaked up the stillness and the full moon as it rose over familiar mountains. How many times in my life have I sat on that deck and studied the heavens?
So familiar.
I talked to my Heavenly Father. I let him know how overwhelmed I felt and how afraid I was. I've never homeschooled before, was I being naive? Would my kids fall behind? Would I be able to keep a schedule? Would I have enough to give? Would we be able to find friends? Would I have the time to talk to Amber or read a book or make my bed?!
I told him that I wasn't sure I would be enough.
And He told me that He is. I'm not, but HE IS. More than enough.
I wept and just soaked it in. He loves my children. He loves me.
I can't tell you how many times in the last three weeks since we started school that I have wanted to just fall on my knees in gratitude for what He is giving me -- and them. It hasn't all been sunshine and roses, but somehow even the challenges are exactly what we need. They are some of the biggest reasons that I'm choosing this route.
It has become very clear to me that this path is not just for my children. It's for me.
How generous He is to allow me to learn with so much grace.
Often times, the immediate feedback from Facebook trumps my posting here, but I want to share this
post from my FB this week:
"I'm happy. --- I should maybe just leave it at that, but true to form, I'll elaborate.
"I've been taking my two oldest girls running with me in the morning (doing a couch-to-5k program so that we could ease in slowly and I didn't burn them up with my longer legs). The first day (maybe 2) I desperately wanted give up. Dragging 2 whiney girls along for 2+ miles isn't exactly the most awesome way to kick off a morning of homeschool . . .
"However! since then, it's been so, so good. They are rockstars and we've been able to discuss so many life and immediately applicable lessons. Lessons about how we get a chance to shape the people that we want to be and how attitude makes ALL the difference. I am a lucky mom. Homeschooling has been really hard some days, but I'm also really thankful that it's been giving me a chance to work on some of these things with my kids. Being a parent is awesome."
