The Bee's Knees

Oh how I love little chubby baby legs. We haven't ever really had any of these in our family before (chubby, yes. baby chubby, no.), but I sure do like them!

Violet is such a sweet little lady. She loves to be held and snuggled -- which leaves much to be desired by way of laundry and other duties requiring two hands -- but I'm pretty happy to oblige. She smiles at me often. I love it. I think that she has my mouth. Meaning that it's huge. :)

Her sisters absolutely adore her and ask to hold her often. They pretty much think that she's the bee's knees and I have to say that I agree.

I was worried before she was born that Elsie would have a difficult time with the transition out of baby position. -- Cause let's face it, she makes a really great baby. She LOVES being baby. She knows how to work it. -- But amazingly, she has done incredible! She loves her baby Vi. And she always calls her Vi. She got into a fairly heated argument with Lilie the other day about how her name isn't Violet, it's Vi. She loves to give Violet her binky and then exclaim, "I make her happy!!" Elsie has been surprisingly motherly with Violet and loves to snuggle her and "help". Elsie's skin has also proven to be quite sensitive, like Lilie's, and the changing weather has done a number on her poor little lips.

"Take a funny picture of us, Mom!" LOL. They really are funny. Four little girls. :) I'm so lucky. I suppose if we made "unfortunate" looking girls, this would be a tragedy, but that is not the case. I love each of them so much. They are beautiful - on the inside and out.

The past couple months have been both uneventful and busy at the same time. Four kids is a lot of work and yet at the same time, I often feel like I get nothing done. - One of the joys of having a newborn. - I've had mastitis and two UTI's (TMI? Sorry.), which I'm sure have developed as a lovely side effect from the antibiotics I was taking for the mastitis. One of the many wonders of modern medicine. :) This recovery has been in a very different ballpark from my other post-pregnancy months, but even then, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love being a mom so much. I love each of my girls and their differences and eccentricities. I love my sweet, gentle Hazel. I love her desire to experience life to the fullest and drink in every sensory adventure completely. She desires so much to do what is right. I love Lilie's happy, silly view of life. I love her fire. She can do anything that she puts her mind to. I love Elsie's tenacity. She has become quite the little fireball lately. She loves to be my little friend and follows me around through much of the day, copying what I do. I love it. The sun is shining, my house is fairly clean, and Violet slept through the night last night.

I have the best job in the world.

Rachel and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Be warned. Long post ahead. Writing serves as therapy for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Yesterday was one for the records. What. A. Day.

Let's start at the very beginning, shall we? A very good place to start. (I'm funny. and if you know why I'm funny, so are you.)

Nels has a demanding job. This is an understatement. Last Saturday Nels decided to get up early and go into work to "finish up" a project so that he wouldn't have to worry about it on Monday. Tuesday he was leaving town and needed Monday to be able to get his department ready for him to be gone. He was gone most of the day and it didn't get finished. He woke up at 5 in the morning Monday to again "finish up" said project, so that he could spend the rest of the day wrapping up things in his department. Rachel had a hair appointment that afternoon. Nels would be "finished up" so he could watch the girls. Nels was still "finishing up" said project at 4:30 when Rachel had the appointment. Nels was still "finishing up" said project when Rachel decided to take the girls (ALL BY HERSELF) to Olive Garden for dinner. Nels finished up the project at 9:30 Monday night.

Melaleuca sent Nels to NAB (National Association of Broadcasters) in Las Vegas. He left Tuesday morning before the sun came up, and flew home Thursday night, well after the sun had set (and was halfway around the globe). Nels had a grand time staying up until the wee hours of the morning in Las Vegas each night. What was Nels doing in the wee hours of the morning in Vegas?? Learning about new cameras. Going to a meeting for people who use Final Cut Pro. (I think it was kind of like AA. :)

Tuesday and Wednesday had a few rough patches, but nothing that I can't handle.

Thursday was April 15th. Generally a very uneventful day each year. I generally finish our taxes around the middle of February. This year was no exception. I was pleased with myself.

This year we received another 1099-MISC (like a W-2, except it's for freelance work) at the END OF FEBRUARY. After I had completed our taxes. After we had received our return.

THIS year. I got to learn the ropes of filing an amended tax return AND paying back the government a portion of the money they had just deposited in my checking account. Not only did this measly $925 need taxes paid on it, it also put us in a different tax bracket -- increasing our taxes and decreasing other credits. You want to know the difference this nine hundred dollar made in our return?? FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! Owning a "small business" is not always all it cracks up to be.

Sorry. I got sidetracked. So since I was so exciting about paying the US Government and the State of Idaho the taxes I owed back to them, I waited until Thursday morning to take care of it. Please keep in mind that #1 - I'm awesome . . . and proactive . . . and #2 - I have a baby who "needs" to be held. by mom. all day. that day.

I pulled out my taxes, downloaded Form 1040X, opened up the instructions, and began at 9:30 AM. It. Was. A. Long. Day. Violet didn't get held all day, as she desired. Violet cried a lot while Mommy poured over "Instructions". Hazel and Lilie whined about being hungry while Mommy flipped from website to website, trying to figure out why her figures weren't matching up. Elsie peed in her panties and proceeded to spend half the day in her nothin's running through the house. Lilie cried "not fair" when Mommy finally tried to (and succeeded in) convincing her to PLEASE find Elsie some panties from her laundry basket so that she could spend the other half of the day playing in the backyard, in nothing but her undies. Hazel and Lilie bawled about not being fed lunch while Mommy yelled, "Just one minute! I need to get this finished!! I'll be there in just a second!" Hazel eventually found apples and tortillas to feed the Motherless, Naked, and Hungry.

I was getting close at 4 o'clock when I happened to realize that we were out of printer ink and envelopes. I packed up the kids to "run" to Walmart "really quick" to get ink and envelopes. Hazel, Lilie, and Elsie were still hungry. I promised them we were almost "finished up". We would go to Walmart, run home, print the papers, run to the Post Office, and then go eat dinner wherever they wanted. At the park? Sure we'd eat dinner at the park.

First off, Walmart and "real quick" should never be allowed in the same sentence, since together they form an oxymoron (and every mother who does use them together is an oxyMoron). Secondly, nothing that includes four children and "running" to several different places is even remotely close to being "finished up."

We got through Walmart. The girls stayed in the van while I "ran in the house" and proceeded to spend a ridiculous amount of time getting everything printed. The girls stayed in the van while I sat in the front seat sorting through all the papers to figure out what to file where and which form when with what. All the while still hungry. At 6:05 the girls had been sitting in the van for a very long time, Violet was getting hungry and fussy, and we were finally headed to the Post Office. At 6:15 I walked through the Post Office doors to find them closed and a paper on the wall saying the closest place to get letters postmarked "April 15th" was in Pocatello.

At this point I pretty much had a mini breakdown. As did the girls when they realized that we weren't going to the park to eat dinner. It was like the cherry on top of the Crap Sandwich that had been our day. I pulled myself together. I found a babysitter (who sweetly didn't mind babysitting RIGHT NOW) and picked up a pizza. Left the 3 oldest at home. Grabbed a bottle and my then hysterically sad and hungry infant and left them with my dear, sweet friend and headed to Pocatello. Determined that this was NOT going to beat me.

I made it to Pocatello at 7:55. The Post Office closed at 8:00. The two fat envelopes containing my money and my sanity were finally out of my hands and on their way. Postmarked April 15th.

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One of the funniest things to me about having a blog is that as I reflect on my day, I start to organize it in my head, in story form. As I was doing exactly this, while driving alone to Pocatello, I thought, "You know, I usually am able to find something funny about my bad days. Not today. There is nothing funny about this day." And there wasn't. I felt mad that Nels was gone (while still genuinely hoping he had a good time). I felt irritated about spending all day crunching numbers and finangling tax programs and yelling at tech support people. I felt SO BAD about honest-to-goodness neglecting my kids all day. I felt worried about just having realized that I had left the babysitter at my house, with my three little girls, with no telephone available to her, should something go wrong. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest for leaving my little angel-baby at my friend's house crying and hungry and just wanting her mommy to hold her. So many Not Funny feelings.

Yet.

As I looked out the window, I was able to see the sun setting across the newly green fields. Shining emerald green through the tiny little sprouts of wheat, just barely out of the dirt. One of my favorite sights to see each Spring, those beautiful green fields, while everything around them is still goldy-brown and dead.

As I drove, having realized I'd left my iPod at home, I turned on the radio. Flipping, flipping, flipping through channels. I realized that with no kids in the car, I could turn it up as loud as I wanted. As loud as I felt.

Did you know, that I can make my voice sound like the guy who sings "Brandy" - you know, "you're a fine girl. what a good wife you would be."? As much as Nels doesn't like Bon Jovi, I love singing along with "Livin' on a Prayer" -- especially at the top of my lungs -- to people in the car passing me. Also, when uninhibited, I can hit all the notes in the song "Hero" by Whitney Houston. Whenever I hear AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" I think of my sister Melissa and how she would listen to this song all the time while her now-husband was on a mission - and she was waiting for him. LOL. If you've never seen Melissa sing along with AC/DC you haven't lived. :) I know every word to the song "Sold" by John Michael Montgomery. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot make my voice sound like Mick Jagger. It's sad, but true.

By the time I was driving back to Idaho Falls, I felt better. I was worried that I was going to run out of gas and/or have my bladder explode, but emotionally, I was feeling much better.

Sometimes even a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day can have a silver lining - if you let it.

Cheerios

This morning as I was reading blogs, eating Cheerios, and nursing Violet all at the same time, I dripped milk four times on her head. I suppose now we are even, as she has puked on my three times since last night.

Yesterday, I managed to clean my bedroom, the kitchen, and the living room. I washed the dishes and two loads of laundry. I had dinner ready when I called Nels to ask him if he was on his way home. He wasn't. He was planning on staying at work another hour or more. I hate that.

Our Easter dinner was very good. However, I still have not figured out how to have all the dinner done and hot at the same time. Why is that? When does that skill show up?? How do you even learn such a thing?

Conference was wonderful. Why did I feel so overwhelmed all weekend? Oh yeah, because Mommy has been MIA for the past month! Honestly, I haven't done one load of laundry since I had Violet. My mom, Nels's mom, and Nels have all helped, but I have not. Until yesterday -- and today -- and tomorrow, I'm sure. Laundry is my never-ending nemesis.

The girls had an Easter Egg Hunt in the snow on Saturday. That's funny to me. Nels was awesome to dye eggs with the girls that night and then set up another egg hunt for them in the basement Sunday morning. Complete with eggs filled with pennies and dimes. I gave the stipulation that there would be no egg hunts the next morning, until they cleaned up the disaster they had created in their bedroom, positive that either I would end up doing it all myself, or it wouldn't happen until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised when Hazel woke me up at 7:30, having already completed the task and ready for fun. I was amazed and they had a wonderful time together searching. They were so excited and made numerous other egg hunts for one another throughout the day.

I don't do Easter baskets. I feel like Easter should be about the Savior and not the Easter Bunny. I've never really understood the "Easter Bunny" -- no offense to all you who do it that way, I just don't get it. The one Easter present (other than eggs) that I do like to get for the girls is a new dress. However, since Easter also fell on Conference Weekend and they wouldn't be wearing them that day, I waited to buy their dresses until I found them for 50% off this week. I'm a cheap-o. :)

Elsie's new favorite song to sing: "Wheneva I hear, da song of biwd or loot at da blue, blue sty, Wheneva I hear, da wain on my face or loot at da blue, blue sty . . . " Another new favorite song: "Single Ladies" - First Beyonce song I've ever been tempted to own. We heard it at the store and she immediately informed me (as did both the other girls) that "I like this silly song!"

I think Violet is starting to learn how to smile at people. It's awesome.

I'm not normally a very "hormonal" person. Thus far in my existence, it's not been a huge problem. However, the past two months, I often feel like a total nut job. Being pregnant, having a baby, nursing, recovering, being sick, and taking antibiotics is really doing a number on me. Sometimes I just feel. Too. Much. I think I need to start exercising again.

I really love being a mom. Even if it's hard to clean the fish tank or make dinner or sweep or fold laundry with a newborn who really, really likes her mommy, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. I love my new little baby and her beautiful little self. I love my bigger babies and their beautiful little selves.

Someday I will no longer feel like I'm thinking through fog. Someday my blog will be fun to read again. :)

Sometimes I Get Sensory Overload

Somehow when I'm sick I seem to have sensory overload. Like I can't focus on any one coherent thought. Here's a couple of the one's tumbling around in the emptiness tonight.

First. Antibiotics. What a bittersweet breakthrough. I'm truly thankful for them. I am. But I don't necessarily love the side effects. Things like upset baby tummies. The possibility of yeast infections. And most importantly having to somehow, in my deranged state, manage to remember to take them FOUR TIMES A DAY. What?? Two capsules, four times a day, for TEN DAYS?? Also, on an empty stomach. One hour before or 2-3 hours after eating. Some days I don't remember to brush my hair or put on deodorant (TMI?) how do I remember to take these pills??? Who invented these directions???

Second. I think I am a social freakazoid. It's true. I have inherent tendencies which seem to go against the social norm. Specifically? There are times when I like to be a social hermit. Times when I desire (and then do my best) to entirely drop off the radar. I don't always like answering the phone -- or calling people back. (What? You've noticed?? :) And it's not just the phone. I'm terrible about setting up "play dates" for my kids --- or even setting up "play dates" for myself. I don't always like committing to social engagements, because maybe when it comes around, I won't feel like going. And the worst part of it all? There's really not a reason for it. It's not like when I feel this way I'm having a bad day or I'm depressed. I can often be in high spirits and having a fabulous time at whatever it is I'm doing. -- For whatever reason, I just don't feel like having anybody else there in my little bubble. Sometimes I just like being a recluse. It's weird. 

That being said, I don't always feel that way. So don't stop calling and don't stop inviting me to do things. That would be a very sad result of sharing my weirdness on this blog. I'm just commenting on this odd observation I've made (and I'm sure others of you have made :) about myself. I really enjoy having friends. :) I also really enjoy just being by myself sometimes. Or just being me and my little family. Sometimes I think I could have been born as a frontier wife and been perfectly content with it. Just me and my immediate family almost completely cut off from the world. (Then I actually start contemplating what that would mean and remember that I like living in the 21st century.) 

But, sometimes . . . 

Violet's Day in the Spotlight

Nels finished up this video of my little newborn the other day and I thought I'd share. I'm so thankful to have such a talented husband!



Violet Chick is Here from Nels Chick on Vimeo.


Isn't she just adorable?! I think so too. :)


Also, when Violet was about a week old, our friend, Megan, came over and took pictures of our new addition. They turned out really wonderful. You should check them out.


Violet's Newborn Pics


So Tuesday evening, I started feeling really weird. Icky. Then later that night, I knew I was developing mastitis. Why, oh, why??? I really thought I was in the clear this time around. I've gotten it with each of my girls, but with as good and hearty an eater as Violet is, I was sure that this time would be different. I have taken it really pretty easy the past three weeks. I've only gone to a store -- or even out of the house (barring routine doctor visits) - a handful of times and my house and family can certainly attest to the laid-back demeanor I've adopted since her birth. 


Nonetheless, I've been on antibiotics since yesterday morning and yet I'm still feeling pretty cruddy. Violet also doesn't seem to like my being ill very much and has seemed very uncomfortable today. I hope it's not the drugs making her feel poorly? Maybe she's just having a rough day? Truth to tell, Vi, so am I. I hope that's all it is. 


Hopefully tomorrow I'll be on the up and up. Cause let's face it. As much as I like trying to sleep between doses of Ibuprofen and watching Mythbusters, after watching three straight seasons, I'm done. :)