A Decade

As a teenager, I can remember my sister Melissa, 2 1/2 years older, scolding me about the disorder in which I kept my bedroom.

"Rachel. You are such a slob. No one is ever going to want to marry you." :)

At 15, I'm not going to lie, getting married was not on my radar. Boys? Yes, please. But keeping a clean room to catch man? Nope. :) Melissa was always the romantic. Get married, have babies, decorate your own house. She regularly talked about her future.

Not me.

Especially as a teenager and young adult, I lived very much in the "now". I loved (and still love) living my life with all the passion and joy that I can TODAY.

I met Nels when I was 19 and we started dating a month before my 20th birthday.

We started dating and I gave my whole heart to Nels. He consumed my thoughts and all of my "live in the moment"ness. We were more twitterpated than I've ever seen anyone.

After dating for a month and a half, we were hinting at marriage. :) By the middle of June, we were engaged.

But even then, it was never about getting married or about being a wife or a mom.

It was about being with Nels. About being his.

There was nothing I'd ever wanted more in the whole world. I wanted to be with him.

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Last Friday evening I walked through Kootenai (tiny town located next to Sandpoint - and where Coldwater's head office is located) after dropping off our moving truck. Nels had a couple of things to finish up at work before heading out for our date, and so I told him I'd just walk over and meet him there. The sun was setting so beautifully over the mountains and I was clearly reminded of ten years ago - almost to the minute - saying yes to that handsome man. To becoming HIS forever.

Probably the best decision I've ever made in my whole life.

The four older girls were at Aunt Tracy's house for a couple of days and my mama had come up to help us move, so she stayed with Clara while Nels and I had a night to ourselves.

We got a room up at Schweitzer. We'd been moving all day and so after cleaning up and brushing the sweaters off our teeth, we headed out into the village to get some dinner - only to find that everything had closed at 8:30.

We decided not to starve, and drove the 20 minutes back down the mountain to a local pub named Icardt's for dinner. It was so good and SO fun! They had a jazz band performing that night. It was awesome. I've decided that although I really dislike listening to jazz music on the radio, I REALLY like watching it. We also determined that where we live is really cool and made a long list of all the things we'd like to do in the next year.

The whole evening was wonderful and I loved getting the time alone with my best friend. I'm so incredibly thankful for the beautiful life that we have built together.

I can say without a doubt, there is not one moment in ten years that I've regretted that decision I made. He is my perfect match in every way.

Thank you, Nels. I love you today even more than I did then.

Husband Tag

My sister Melissa tagged me. I know what many of you are thinking, "What?! I've tagged her a million times and she's never responded to them!" I know, I suck. But first of all, this one isn't about ME, so it's easier AND my kids are in bed. :)

1) Where did you meet? This is one that I've already posted about before but I'll do it again, just for fun. We met at BYU-Idaho in the Fall of 2001. We first officially met at a ward "Sweet Swap" where I informed him that I was "cool". Well, he remembered that I was cool, but still continued to date other girls for about 5 months. During that time, he and his roommates, Mike and Ben, would come over to our apartment on a fairly regular basis to just hang out. (Mostly Nels would sit and talk and Mike would look through our cupboards and fridge for food. ;) Toward the end of our friendship phase, Nels would invite my roommates and I to come watch him play with his band (the Young Republicans, LOL!) at various local venues - like the local music store, a pizza joint, etc. Nels would rock out on stage wearing cut-off green shorts, Scout socks, black velcro shoes, and a band t-shirt. He was so hot! :)

2) How long did you date? From start to finish, about 5 1/2 months. We started dating in March, were engaged in June, and got married in August. We work quick. ;) In May he moved home to work for the summer, so for 3 1/2 of those months we were on opposite sides of the state. Every change I could get, I would bribe someone into letting me bum a ride off of them to Boise, or he would be driving over to visit me. It was literally painful for me to part with him each and every time. During the week, we would talk on the phone (when we could afford it) or do intant messaging over the internet. Our friends still love to make fun of those days. Nels had rigged my computer so that I could chat with him over the internet . . . the only problem was that I never got my microphone to work. I would type away, while Nels would proclaim his undying love for me - for the entirety of both households to hear, loud and clear. :) So funny.

3) How long have you been married? Just over 6 years. Sometimes I can't believe that it's been so long - but at the same time, I can barely imagine life before he was mine!

4) What's your favorite feature of his? I love his forearms. Good, manly arms. And I love his legs! :) No skinny chicken legs for me thanks! I've always loved a pair of good calves. OH! And I love his sideburns. I've only seen him without them once and it was really weird. I can't imagine his face without them.

5) What are your favorite qualities of his? I love his passion. The way he throws himself into whatever he is doing. I love that he talks to me. He always listens to what I'm saying (at least he pretends to . . . :) and genuinely tries to understand where I'm coming from. He's a fun-haver. He loves to have fun and to laugh. He is also very good with other people. I always tend to get overly nervous when I'm meeting new people. He keeps me limber and helps me feel more comfortable. He makes people feel good about themselves.

6) Does he have a nickname for you? He likes to call me Ra-cha-chel. And Hotness. And probably more than anything else, he calls me, Love. Interestingly enough, he does not call me Rach. He never has. Every one of my friends calls me that, but neither Nels nor any of my immediate family members call me that.

7) What's his favorite color? I don't think he's overly picky - but if he did have to choose, he would say black. :) And then blue.

8) What's his favorite food? Lasagna. Poor Nels. I have only made Lasagna for him about 3 times in our entire marriage. I need to be a better wife.

9) What's his favorite sport? Football. He also enjoys Karate and LOVES watching Ultimate Fighting.

10) When and where was your first kiss? Our first kiss was on the doorstep of my apartment on March 13th, 2002. That night was snowing and FREEZING, and incredibly windy. He walked me up the walk to my apartment and was going to go in for a gentlemanly kiss on the cheek, but that was just NOT going to fly for me. I turned my head and landed one right on his shocked lips. It was SO cold, but such a good night.

11) What's your favorite thing to do as a couple? Pretty much anything together. We enjoy reading books together and listening to music. Nels doesn't LOVE to go for drives, but a lot of good times have been spent in the car. One of my favorite memories with Nels was when we got stuck in rush-hour in Utah. Sounds thrilling, doesn't it? :) Nels cranked up the radio and we sang along to the Ramones at the top of our lungs - for not only our enjoyment, but for all our vehicular neighbors as well. :)

12) Where is his favorite vacation spot? I think there are a lot of places that Nels really enjoys, but I would say he probably enjoys going home the most. I can see the pleasure and rejuvenation just wash over him as we drive through the hot desert of western Idaho with the windows rolled down. Or as we sit under the brilliant stars - with all the sounds and smells of the desert. It's good for him.

13) Do you have any children? Three beautiful girls who absolutely adore their Daddy.

14) How old is he? 28

15) Who said I love you first & where? My roommates and I had gone with Nels over to Mnt. Home for the weekend. It was a typical, Spring night in Idaho --- totally unpredictable. It was foggy, raining off and on, and had then decided to drop well below freezing and form a lovely layer of 1/2 inch ice across the road. As we were driving back that night, we got in an accident and had to have Nels' roommates come pick us up in American Falls and bring us back to Rexburg. Cuddled up in the back of roommates car, I told him that I loved him. He looked at me for a minute and then something like, "I hope you don't feel bad, but I'm not sure what I feel yet." :) LOL! He confirmed what I already knew a couple of days later, but I've always loved him all the more that moment. For KNOWING that when he said he loved me, he knew and I knew that he meant it.

16) What's his favorite type of music? Well, I'll have to say that he probably enjoys heavy metal more than anything else, but Nels is pretty eclectic. One of his all time favorite bands is Fu Manchu. He love the Toadies and COC. Old Metallica, AC/DC, the Ramones. The Doors, Rolling Stones, the Beta Band. Coldplay, Neil Diamond, the Killers, the Pixies, the Melvins . . . a little of everything. Well, with the exception of Country and Pop. Nels is a musical genius. The amount of musical trivia I have absorbed from him over the past 6 years is staggering. Music plays a big part in Nels' life and I think it's safe to say that Nels probably has a song playing in his most all of the time.

17) What do you admire most about him? Many, many things - but probably one of my most favorite is his desire to do the right thing -- and for the right reason. He is so genuinely good. I admire his devotion to our family. That he has always wanted me to be able to stay home with our children, while he goes out into the lone and dreary world to provide for us.

18) Do you think he'll read this? Probably. He likes to check up on me. :)

I tag: Amber, Chelsie, Kendall, Melyni, and Tracy

One of the ALL TIME best days of my LIFE

Nearly seven years ago Nels and I met at BYU-Idaho. The first night that we met, we were at our ward "sweet-swap" at our now-friend Hannah's apartment. I was excited about the new guys in our ward (what single girl isn't?) and thought that the one sitting on the couch surrounded by multiple ladies was cute. --- But I'm not usually one of those girls that joins the throngs, so I decided to bide my time, seated across the room eating my brownie - where I got ambushed by his odd-ball roommate. I don't really remember much else about that night other than all of a sudden hearing Nels say, "I'm really sorry, I'm not very good with names, so I probably won't remember . . . " At that point, I piped up from across the room, "Well, you'll remember my name, because I'm cool!" ha ha. (Unfortunately I AM one of "those" girls!) Anyhow, at the time, he didn't remember my name, BUT he DID remember that I was cool. :) LOL!

A few months later after hanging out every once in a while (and after breaking up with . . . well Crazy) he started "coincidentally" walking past my bowling class, right as class ended. We'd chat on the way to my next class. Then I somehow started "not having" my next class when he would ask me to lunch. :) This continued for a couple of weeks. One day he stops by my apartment and asks, "So. I have to go to this really boring opera for my class . . . and if I bring someone, I get extra credit . . . do you want to go?" Ha ha! :) This was our first date. :) :) All through this "boring" opera I kept worrying about the intermission. You know, that long part where they do nothing, but you have to stay in your seats because you don't know when they're going to start again . . . and it's just the two of you . . . waiting for it to start again? The part where I always get kind of nervous - because I always get kind of nervous around people that I really don't know that well - especially one on one - my brain tends to freeze up and I feel retarded. Yeah, that part. Well, that part never really happened. Intermission came and went. We talked the whole time - I felt completely comfortable - and had so much fun at the "boring" opera (that I can't even remember what it was about).

A few days later, we were sitting in his big, blue van in front of my apartment --- he'd given me a ride home from class. (Actually my class ended about 1/2 hour earlier than his and was only about 1/4 mile from my apartment -- and it was about that far to the building where his class was, but HE had asked if I wanted a ride . . . how could I refuse?!) Anyway, we were sitting, talking, for a long time . . . there was this feeling there, that I can't even describe as anything but a glimpse of eternity. I could FEEL Nels -- who he was, is, can be. The incredible person that he is. I'm not really sure what I believe as far as the Lord "setting up" the person we marry --- it being this thing of "destiny" or whatever . . . but looking back on that moment gives me the one surety that I have that I have known Nels for a LONG time. That we DO have a relationship that extends beyond this life.

The past 6 years of our marriage have been the most wonderful of my life. I'm so thankful for the marriage that we share and for the blessings of the temple. It's amazing to me that we can truly say that we love one another more today than we did the day we were married. --- We seem to be a little haphazard in the way we do things, but our relationship is so steady, so sure. I can look back on the past 6 years and honestly say that there's never been one of those "tough times" in our relationship. We've had lots of weird little ups and downs (and all arounds :) in our life together, but not in our relationship. It's always there, it's always strong.



SO - for our anniversary this year (being on a Sunday) we didn't do anything too grand. Nels's sister and BIL watched the girls for us - we jumped in the van with no prior decision of WHERE we were going and took off --- FREEDOM!! :) LOL! We decided to "go somewhere we've never been before". :) Sounds exciting, doesn't it??! ;) We headed up into the hills east of Idaho Falls and just took a drive ---- a VERY L--O--N--G drive. We stopped at a little over look of a river valley and just sat on the rimrocks there and talked for a while and then jumped back in the car, continuing on the road we'd been on. We decided that this road probably . . . eventually . . . looped back into the Valley and so we'd just follow it around. Two and a half hours later . . . we finally came out of the mountains clear down by Blackfoot! :) It's a strange feeling to want to go home, but you've come a long way and you can't figure out if it's going to be faster to go back or to continue in the DARK forward. It was a fun little adventure and we now know where the town of BONE is . . . well, actually, I'm still a little unsure of WHEN exactly we passed through it - WHICH small cluster of 2 or 3 buildings is considered Bone, but we can say that we've been there. We also know where Blackfoot Reservior is. It was fun and it was nice to have a chance to just chat, uninteruptted, with my hubby for a few hours.

(Sorry guys, for another SAPPY post! It's not what I intended! - I just can't help myself !)

When It Rains, It Pours!

As has been said of me before, I'm kind of a feast or famine kind of gal. Bloggorhea or blogstipation. (Mostly, I think I just don't want to go to bed! :)

But I just wanted to say how much I love my husband. He works SO HARD. He is one of the most dedicated people I have ever met. I have been REPEATEDLY impressed with his dedication to this movie, for instance. There have been so many times when my resolve has weakened, I've tried to get him to slack, but he has just kept trudging along. 

I am also so impressed with the sacrifices that he is willing to make for our family. We have a lot of decisions to make right now --- HE has a lot of decisions to make right now. --- He is what a real Man and father should be. He is our hero --- Mine --- His girls'. He is willing to go out and slay the dragons everyday to allow me to stay at home with our children, to give us a warm and comfortable home to live in. To provide for our needs and wants. I love him so much. 

Growing up is an interesting transition. I'm not sure when it happens, but I remember being a teenager and realizing at some point that I didn't really WANT to grow up. It's nice to only really have to worry about you. (I think I was a very unconventional and selfish teenager) I remember looking ahead into the future and dreading the responsibility. I remember thinking that doing the same thing everyday would be so boring --- that it seemed a little like death! :) (Okay, I'm being a bit melodramatic, but I think you get the point.) I couldn't imagine my selfish wants being swallowed up in service and love for someone else.

I really like to listen to Dr. Laura ---- any of you who talk to me on any kind of regular basis know this (and that I really like Glenn Beck, but we'll save that for another day! :) --- and she is a huge advocate for waiting to get married until you are in your late twenties. That success rates in marriage are much higher -- yada, yada, yada. Well, I've spent lots of brainless hours in the monotony of my days thinking about this. Nels and I got married when I was only TWENTY years old. Nels was only 22! We were SO young and stupid. I owe the entire success of our relationship and our marriage to the Lord. We were both WAY to stupid and naive at that point in our lives to ACTUALLY know what we were getting into -- to know HOW to choose a partner that would be compatible. The Lord DEFINITELY had a hand in it. I could not have chosen someone who would fit me more perfectly than my Nels. He is my match in every way. --- BUT --- even "perfect" marriages fail. What makes the difference? Dr. Laura talks about how later in your twenties, you know more of who you are, more of what you want and where you're headed, and you have a firmer grasp of what and who will be best for you.

I've come to a lot of conclusions about what I think is the difference. About how two stupid kids could get married when they are barely adults themselves and be happy - and actually make it. The examples that we grew up with in our homes, our religion and views on marriage and the family, our own emotional maturity --- what have you. There are many and I'm not going to expound ------ BUT (and here's the point that this long disjointed post is getting to) I just want to say . . . everyone in the world can tell you that it's important to know who you are before you get married, to have an idea of where you're headed and what's important . . . (and it IS - to an extent) BUT it has been such a joy to find all of those things out WITH my husband. We have and are making that journey together. We are shaping who we are and how we view this world TOGETHER and that makes me so happy!

I've watched Nels repeatedly make sacrifices for our little family. And then I look at myself and see that in different ways, I do the same. The great thing is, that somehow it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. It just feels like joy.