You're Invited . . .

. . . to Rachel's Morning!

My kids rooms are always a mess. Always. Unless I clean it. Even after THEY clean it. Actually, I'm lumping everyone into the same boat and that's not fair. Elsie cleans her room and makes her bed very well. She's five. Hazel and Lilie's room almost always looks like this:

They are NOT five.

I don't know what's wrong with them, but I'm pretty sure that it's the same problem that I had as a kid, so I'm hoping that someday (probably when they've moved out) the'll grow out of it. 

I've even stopped just shutting the door and ignoring it. I'm on them EVERY. DAY. to clean their room. And they do. But then somehow by the time they wake up the next morning, it looks like this again. I guess gremlins come into their room at night and do it . . . 

I'm going to start painting my family room today! I'm excited. I don't like plain white rooms. As soon as Elsie is off to preschool, I'm going to break into the trim and hopefully have it all edged by tonight.

It's always messy, too. 

But it's big and supposed to be played in, so I don't care as much.

{Except when Vi empties the bookcase. That makes me nuts.}

I really like this room.

And I also really like this room:

I painted it blue and it thrills me.

I love blue. And I love clean, fresh paint.

This kid it sometimes messy, but I don't really mind.

Clara has started eating again. I'm so happy. She was losing weight and she doesn't have much to lose. Who knows what's going on with her.

Our neighbor's basset hound comes in our backyard often. She's cute and her name is Lily. Whenever I call to her, I smile. A lot. "Don't poop in our yard, Lily!" :) Right now she's . . . what's it called when a basset hound . . . yowls? Yodeling? If you can remember the sound that hounds make, ten points to you. :) OH! Nevermind. 10 points to me. I remembered! Baying! She's baying.

Nels broke the whisks on my Bosch several months ago - while making cookies. *Don't add the flour to cookies with whisks.* I mention this because it's random, they haven't been replaced, and I'm using my Bosch to make bread as we speak. 

Yes. We're speaking, didn't you know? 

Except for you, it's sort of like a conversation. For ME, it's only two way if you comment. Sad, huh? 

You should talk to me. So I'm not talking to myself.

And the reason why I'm speaking blog while I'm making bread? Because if I sit down to write something, I can't remember what it was. However, if I just write snippets while I'm doing something else, I'll remember things and not get frustrated that I'm sitting in front of the computer in a stupor.

But now I just realized that I don't have enough honey . . . do I just make two loaves or do I go to the store? I detest going to the store. Think there's a substitute for honey? --- In bread? Doubtful . . . hmmm. We're going to try a little corn syrup and molasses . . . because even if it sucks, at least I didn't have to go to the store. :) 

OH! Happy DAY!!! I just found some extra honey right behind the molasses! My bread is saved! And would you believe it? It was the exact amount that I needed to finish the recipe. Heavenly Father even cares about bread.

I haven't been able to find my measuring spoons for more than a week. Clara takes them. And I just found them in here:

on the floor of the pantry next to a bag of rotting potatoes. One of the worst smells on the planet.

Again speaking of bread - the price that bread companies charge per loaf is CRIMINAL! It honestly costs ME maybe $.50 a loaf (Amber, Julie, Marilyn - have any of you priced out the cost per loaf?). How much could it possibly cost a company with all their equipment and availability of bulk ingredients!? Criminal, I tell you! 

Bread is one of the staples in our house - and we go through a LOT of it. I typically make bread once a week, 4 loaves per batch (I store the extra in my freezer). Comparable bread (that has lots of ingredients I can't even pronounce!) would cost me close to $4.00+ a loaf. It's hard to calculate how much money it saves us every month, considering we eat quite a lot more of my homemade bread (about 4 loaves a week) than we do when it's store-bought. But on the flip-side I buy considerably less snacks because my kids are even more happy eating a fresh slice of homemade bread with butter on it than they would be with a handful of crackers. 

All I know is that if you are considering getting a new kitchen appliance, make it a Bosch (and if you can, a wheat grinder). You'll never be sorry.

Back to how I DETEST going to the store, I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done!!! Online shopping is pretty much the best thing since hot bread. :) I got nearly everything I needed at either Amazon or a cute little online store that is going to gift wrap everything for FREE.

How fun is that going to be on Christmas morning?! Not even I will have seen many of the gifts before they are actually opened! I'm so excited!

I spent nearly two full days sitting in front of my computer in my pajamas. Sometimes I would feel like a loser, but then I remembered how my kids were getting fed, getting TV'ed, and getting napped, while I was price comparing and looking for online coupons -- all without having to drive over 100 miles! That while I was trying to decide between the red or the blue one, I wasn't also having to stop one {or more} of my kids from emptying the store shelves or taking a dive from the heights of the shopping cart and I'd instantly feel a lot better about myself. 

When Nels got home from work and I was making dinner {and wondering if I'd brushed my teeth}, I could tell him of how I'd been shopping all day and nobody had had a major meltdown. Me included.

I wondered if maybe I should wait until Black Friday to buy a few things, but in the end, I figured that the peace of mind in knowing that it was done and everything I wanted was in stock, outweighed the possibility of {{maybe}} saving $20.

Well. My friends.

My bread is risen, baked, and filling my house with the sweet smell of Home. Elsie is off to school. Violet is watching Cinderella. And Clara is emptying out my Tupperware cupboard and all of my clean rags. Again.

It's time for me to leave you and go put in my contacts so I can start in on painting the trim. 

Thanks for keeping me company this morning!

Saturday's Super Seven

Wrote this and then wasn't satisfied with it, so I didn't post it. Oh well. It's fine and I'm going to post it now. A week later.

So I really wanted to write a Fabulous Five, yesterday, but with only allotting myself 1 hour and then writing about how I haven't been writing (such a productive use of my time), it didn't happen, so I'm going to do it today instead.

1. The glorious sun is shining! It's been so rainy and cloudy the past few weeks and it is a godsend to see the sun today. Being so far north, the days are getting shorter and shorter and shorter - so the Vitamin D I'm getting as I type this post has been in short supply.

2. Last night we spent the evening playing Yahtzee together. I love that our kids are getting old enough to play real games! I recently read a statistic that said, on average, parents spend about 35 minutes a WEEK actually talking to their kids. That's ridiculous! Just eating dinner together every night increases that number by over 5 times! I obviously feel like I spend a LOT more time than that talking "at" my kids every day, but as I sit and think about it, there are some days that are probably severely lacking in real communication. As a mom, I'm really trying to work on that. Trying to work on really listening to my kids and letting them talk. They are such wonderful people! I'm so excited that as I get to know them better and better over the years, I'm always learning how amazing they are. They are so FUN! and I'm so thankful that the Lord blessed me with such wonderful friends built right into my family.

3. I'm going to start painting the big family room upstairs today! ---- or at least filling nail holes and painting trim. (not quite as fun, but necessary) The kitchen got all finished yesterday and as soon as I put a last coat on the doors and it's magically clean for more than 2 minutes, I'll take a picture. I love paint!

4. I have most of our Christmas presents planned out! I'm excited to not have 14 billion things I'm making this year, but I'm hoping to get started soon on the ones I am. Last night I finally started working on Violet's and Clara's stockings that I never finished last year. I read just the other day how I had planned on finishing them up right after Christmas last year . . . man I'm cool.

5. Thanksgiving is in less that 2 weeks and I am SO EXCITED! We are heading to Monroe to be with Amber and her family. I get to see my new little "cousin-niece" and I seriously think about it every. day.

6. I had Parent Teacher Conferences with my girls' teachers this week. I love PTCs. I love hearing about another person's observations on my girls. They really are such good students. They love learning. Both Hazel and Lilie are excelling at reading - both testing at about a 5th grade reading level (whatever that means). And both are doing amazing at math and writing. Another thing they share is an occasional tendency to not pay attention in class --- but each for somewhat different reasons. :) Lilie, I believe, gets bored. If she thinks she already knows it, she finds something better to occupy her brains -- usually doodling and drawing -- much to her teacher's dismay. Hazel, I think, just gets distracted. Her brain grabs hold on a new train of thought and finds it difficult to pull her back to what's going on in the present. Thankfully, neither have had their grades suffer from their wandering imaginations, but it's still something that they're working on.

7. As I mentioned yesterday, life seems to be reaching some kind of new normal. As I calculate things up, I realize that it has been nearly three and a half years since I've been neither pregnant nor had a baby under a year old. No wonder I feel like a new woman!!! My hormones are finally evening out! It feels like a miracle. sometimes a little bit sad. But mostly really awesome. Life is good.

First Impressions

Five weeks ago now, we packed all the things we simply couldn't live without into a 12 foot U-Haul, and began our new lives.

My sweet parents had come the evening before to help us finish packing and cleaning and loading. They were truly lifesavers. If they hadn't come, I don't believe there is any way that we would have made it out of Idaho Falls that day. There was so much to do and frankly, I just was not running at peak performance. :) It didn't take much for my parents to recognize this as well and they made the last minute executive decision that my mother would be making the long trek to Sandpoint with us as a third driver and angel of mercy. :)

We pulled out of Idaho Falls at around 2:00 in the afternoon (traveling at a brisk 60 mph or so -- that trailer was REALLY heavy), stopped once in Butte, and pulled into our hotel in Sandpoint at about 11:00 or so. As I mentioned in a previous post, the girls - ALL of them - were angels the entire ride, with no more than a peep the entire time.

For those of you unfamiliar with Idaho geography, this is where Sandpoint is. Yep. That's Canada - about 60 miles away. THIS is the link to Sandpoint's website. These are pictures of Sandpoint. I think they're pretty self-explanatory, but I'll state the obvious and just say that Sandpoint is beautiful!

I'm happy to say that my initial impression of Sandpoint has not diminished at all over the past month. If anything, I've been even more amazed at what a lovely place this is as we've explored the area. I feel like every time we go for a drive, I say over and over again, "This is so gorgeous!" The mountains, the lake, the rivers, the colors of fall, the late afternoon haze that makes perfect picture-taking light, the early morning fog on the mountains. It's just pretty.

But I'm digressing . . . So, the morning after we pulled into Sandpoint, we got up, got breakfast, left Clara with my Madre, and went to attend church in our new ward. Now, you may think that I'm over-zealous, attending church at 9:00 in the morning after we'd spent the entire day before in the car, the past week packing, and had given birth to our fifth child only two weeks earlier, but you have to remember -- we also had that U-Haul to unload the next day and an apartment to find -- and by golly, that's what Elder's Quorums where made for. :)

So there we were, sitting in our new ward, everyone looking at us and excited to see new faces in their small ward, singing the sacrament hymn. Violet got down off my lap and started flipping through the pages of the hymn book in my hands.

Then, all of sudden, she puked.

All over hymn #185. And my foot.

Just kidding.

I don't really remember what the page number was. :)

With a look of panic, I leaned around Hazel and Elsie, and got Nels's attention. Apparently, he mistook my look of shock for a "I'm-so-happy-to-be-here" look and gave me a thumbs-up.

What? NO!

I mouth to him and chin-point to Violet, "SHE JUST THREW UP!" Holding out the hymnal for additional verification.

He got it and we rushed Violet and her SURPRISE! hymn book out of the chapel, out to the foyer (where she pukes again), and into the bathroom. After stripping off Vi's vile dress and chucking the up-chucked hymnal, I began cleaning out my shoe, while Nels returned to the foyer to clean up out there. Which, by the way, had already been cleaned up by another ward member!

That's when we knew we were in the right place. A place where a total stranger would clean up another person's kid's puke off the floor. That man will be blessed in heaven, I'm sure.

Nels stayed at church with the other girls, while I drove Violet back to the hotel to her Grandma.

First impressions are awesome, aren't they? Hi, Bishop. We're the Chicks. We just moved in and as our first act in this ward, we threw up all over the floor and threw away one of your hymnals. :)

I'm happy to say, that our first experience here has not been indicative of the rest. :) Monday morning Nels started work, we managed to find an apartment and unload our belongings, and by the end of the week, dropped off Grandma at the airport and got the girls started into their new school -- which is kitty-corner to our apartment.

The girls can walk to and from school all by themselves. It's been a huge blessing as we're still adjusting to mornings with a new baby. I can stand by the balcony door and watch them all the way there. - Plus, if you disregard the phone lines, its just not too bad a view. Right?

The girls are enjoying school, making friends. I was so worried about all of them and how they would react to this major upheaval in their lives, but they've sailed right through it. They are happy and adjusting well. I was especially nervous about how Violet would do, but she's been a real champ. She has probably been my easiest child over the past month - which I was not expecting at all. Violet has been pleasant and happy nearly everyday. She's been a real blessing to me and I have been enjoying her so much.

On the flip side, Elsie has probably had the hardest time with it. She is sweet and generally happy, but has seemed to struggle with not having all of her things, with not having our home, with not having a yard. She has often told me that she wants to go home or comes and asks something like,

"When are we going to go to our real home?"
"This is our home now, honey."
"No. When are we going to go to our home that is not this place?"
"We're not going to go back to Idaho Falls to live, Elsie. We live here now."
"Why?"
"Because this is where Daddy's job is now."
"Well, I don't like this apartment. When are we going to go to our real house here?"
"When our house in Idaho Falls sells."
"How long?"
"I don't know, honey . . . "

So, yeah. She's been missing HOME and I think the other part of it is that she just gets incredibly bored with both her older sisters at school all day. She doesn't have her things and she doesn't have her sisters to play with and I think she just doesn't know quite what to do with herself. Just a lot of adjustment for her.

Clara is doing great. She is a really wonderful baby. I'm planning on writing her own little post later, so I won't elaborate too much right now, but she is very sweet and I can't even imagine life without her. She is perfect. We all love her so much!

Just a few pictures for you of Clara over the past month. And yes. The house IS a mess in every single picture. That's the way we roll in this tiny apartment.

Our ward has been just fabulous. They have welcomed us with open arms - invited us to dinners, to Book Club, over to play, attended Hazel's baptism, called upon Nels to help people move, and called me to be the Second Counselor in the Primary Presidency. :) Oh, yes. We feel right at home. :)

Nels is getting settled into his job. It's taken a few weeks to figure out what he's doing, but they're putting him to work and he's feeling more and more comfortable. - In fact, they're sending him to New York City this coming week for a shoot that they're doing. - He's both excited and nervous. Excited to get behind a camera again, nervous about the newness of it. I still think it's a big joke that my husband, who cares little to nothing about fashion, is working for a clothing company. :) I think one of the videos he'll be working on this week is about how to tie a scarf. :)

Things are going well. We are learning to enjoy the ride. This morning I read Chapter 9 of the new Relief Society book "Daughters in My Kingdom." It is titled "Guardians of the Hearth" and talks about motherhood, its sacred and divine calling, and our responsibilities and blessings. It was perfect. A perfect boost. If you haven't read it, you should.

God loves me. I can see it in the blessings that He has given to me. - In my husband, my children, my family, and my friends. Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, and love that you have sent our way in the last couple of months. I know that I will never be able to repay your kindness, but the Lord will. I love you all.

Chicks make CHICKS!

Can you believe it? FIVE girls! We are going to have a whole lot of fun at our house. I tell you what. Lots of emotions, lots of silly fights, and lots of love.

I was raised in a family with four girls (and two brothers) and while we didn't always get along, I sure love my sisters. They are some of the very best friends that I have.

I am a little overwhelmed at the responsibility that is placed upon me as their mother. I think that the identity of women has been hugely distorted in our world today and I'm so amazed at the faith that the Lord has placed in me to show them how to be daughters of God. Or maybe more correctly, to guide them back to Him, so that He can teach them who they already are. How to be examples to the girls and women around them. To live with faith, integrity, strength, peace, and joy. To raise them with a desire to be mothers themselves. To have families and to serve the Lord. To seek after righteousness. To discover the divinity within themselves.

I am so excited for this new little lady to come. (But I have no problem waiting until September! :) I know many people who say things like: Oh, girls are so much calmer (or easier or harder) than boys! or Girls are so much easier to potty train! or any hundreds of other things that they have observed in their own families of "mixed gender" children. LOL! However, I can tell you right now, that each child comes with their own distinct personality -- quite regardless of girl or boy. Some of my girls are calmer than others. Some have been eternally easier to potty train than others. Some like pink. Some like blue. Some like princesses. Some like dragons. Some like robot-princess-dragon-ballerinas. :) Some like to sit still for hours, working at the same thing. Others lose interest in a matter of seconds and are always on the move. The ONLY (usually true) "gender absolute" that I have found in my last seven years of parenting all girls is this: girls are much more likely to deal with conflict in an emotion-based way, while boys seem much more prone to deal with it in a physical way. - But even that has its exceptions. :) I have found that each of them is entirely unique and I've never made two the same. -- Never even made two opposites! They all seem to come from entirely different planets all together. :) And I am so excited to meet this new "different" little person.

I absolutely love the variety of our seemingly-imbalanced family!

"If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." ~ Linda Sunshine

Friday's Fabulous Five

1. It's supposed to be sunny and in the 60's today!! Oh my, that sounds like heaven. It will probably also be windy, but I'll take the warmer weather in whatever form today! - Might even take the kids to the nursery, just for funsies. There's not a whole lot that we can plant in Idaho this time of year still, but . . . a girl can dream, right? :)

2. I've been able to feel this baby move for a couple of weeks now. It's only occasional and easy to miss, but still there. It's nice to know that there's really a little person in there and I'm not just getting chubby. :)

3. It's April Fool's Day. Is that good? I don't know. The "holiday" has never meant much to me, but it does signify the beginning of my birthday month. The beginning of a really busy month. The beginning of hopefully a warmer month. Plus, Hazel has been talking about April Fool's for months . . . she's not much of a natural jokester, :) so maybe I'll have to break out of my boring mom role and find some fun things for her to plan for Daddy this evening. :)

4. Violet has been doing awesome at going to sleep with no binky since those first two times. She is a model baby. The only problem that we've had is her waking up at about 5:45 this morning. - Normally, we would get her a binky and she'd be back out, but this morning didn't work quite like that and neither Nels nor I got much sleep for the rest of the morning. Nels, because I asked him to take care of her (when really I should have just let her cry it out) and me, because I couldn't fall back asleep with her screaming and Nels getting frustrated in the other room. I think both of us were left feeling like we'd been cheated (April Fool's!) by the time seven rolled around and it was time to get Lilie up for school.

Oh man, that doesn't sound fabulous, does it? (Okay, I'm kind of having a hard time coming up with fabulous this morning, having gone to bed with a migraine and then getting 'joked' out of my last hour and a half of sleep.) What I was trying to say before my bad mood got in the way is that Violet is a champ and I really hope that she continues to be good for us as we work out any kinks. :) And she'd better take one really great nap today.

5. Okay, this one really is fabulous. This has been the first week of Hazel's two week Spring Break. Lilie's week off begins today at 11:15. Often times during the week -- especially on those days that Lilie is out of school for 'teacher training' or some-such, she and Elsie fight all day. Beginning with the moment that they see one another and continuing until well after I'm yelling as much as they are. Two incredibly strong-willed girls (with a stupid mother). They are two of a kind and often that is some kind of monster (with a monster mother). (Sounds fabulous already, huh?)

Needless to say, I had been dreading the weeks of Spring Break. Dreading the addition of another sister to the daily mix of fighting nutsies.

However, to my surprise, this week has actually been happy (for the most part). -- In fact, the only real arguing that Hazel has engaged in has generally been with me alone. :) -- I've found that Hazel's sweet and inclusive personality has actually helped tame the tension between the other two, leaving most days with three sisters playing happily together. Hazel is so good at rallying everyone to one game and does her best (most of the time) to make sure everyone is having fun. She is like a buffer between two very strongly reactive chemical sisters. (Do you miss Chemistry? sometimes I do. :) Hazel is happy. Hazel is kind. Hazel never wants to be mean or disobedient. Hazel is just good, through and through. Hazel goes about singing or humming or making happy 'sounds' most of the day. :) Hazel believes life should be fair (which is usually the source of argument with her parents). Hazel is very strong-willed in her own right, but usually that doesn't come in conflict with her sisters. For some reason known only to the Cosmos, both her sisters are usually quite compliant to letting her have her way. Hazel is honest, loving, and very helpful. I'm so thankful for the sweet influence that she adds to our . . . stubborn, explosive, determined home.

Every Place I Go, I'll Think of You

Leavin' on a Jet Plane was one of my favorite songs in high school. --- The Peter, Paul, and Mary version.

So. I'm off. The past two days have been SO long and I haven't been this tired in a long time, but I'm SO excited. Every once in a while I think of my sweet little babies sleeping in their beds and the fact that I am not there to kiss their faces and I start to feel little nervous twinges in my stomach, but really - I'm excited. I have the best husband in the world who has worked night and day (literally) to make the time for me to go on this trip. He is the best dad in the world for not even batting an eye at being a one man band for the next several days with FOUR kids.

I've wanted to take a trip with Nels - just the two of us - for years and years. "For our fifth anniversary . . . " - "Well, maybe for seven years . . ." We're currently shooting for our tenth anniversary - next Fall. Our youngest child should be about one at that point and if we plan far, far in advance, I think we can pull it off. :)

I love my cousin Amber and I love Washington. So excited to browse around Pike's Place today.

Nels had asked me at one point if I wanted to take Violet with me . . . I thought about it for about . . . say, 3 seconds, before I said, "Um, nah." But you know, try as I might to have a weekend alone, even for this trip, I still couldn't get away from packing one little peanut with me. ---- But I didn't need a boarding pass or a carseat, no bottles or snacks with this one. -- This baby has still got the cushiest seat in the house. :)

Homemade Christmas Presents

I loved this post. Here.

Oh, man. Have I had those days. I loved what she said about how motherhood permeates everything. So true -- and so good.

So, that being said, I'm going to tell you about a few things. I've been thinking over how I'd like to share with you some of my favorite things that I find online. Whether crafts that I want to do, furniture makeovers that I love, fabric that speaks to my heart, and whatnot. I find things that I like all the time, and I'm going to start a weekly post where I share a couple of them with you -- 'cause let's face it, good things need to be shared.

To start with, I'm going to share a couple ideas that I've had for Christmas presents for my kids this year. Most of our Christmas money got eaten up by our vacation to San Diego last month. Our kids declared that was just fine with them --- and it will be --- but let's face it, the little squirts are still going to need some presents, not a lot, but probably more than two. :) They'll get some fun things from grandparents and a little something from the Man in Red, but I also want to be able to give my kids something from me or help them with things to give one another. However, they're going to be mostly homemade this year and I'm excited.

This teepee is something that I've had on my list for probably more than a year. I think I'll make one for each of my three older girls. They'll take up a lot of room once they're opened, but even during the winter, they'll make fabulous forts in the basement! :) Plus they'll be easy to store neatly under their beds.

Second is this Birdie Cat Pillow by Amy Butler. Sorry, you've got to scroll clear to the bottom of the page. I think it's way cute, plus, when my kids saw it - as I was browsing through her gorgeous patterns - they didn't stop asking about it for hours. :) By the way, did you see that unbelievable "Bloom Quilt"??? Holy smokes, what an idea! I am GOING to find a way to incorporate this into the girls bedroom makeover at some point.

That's it for now. What do you think? What are you doing for your kids? I'd love more ideas!

They Love Him

For Father's Day we headed, once again to the mountains! The girls wanted to show Daddy all the fun places we'd found the month before and I really wanted to get out of the house. I'm sure Nels probably would have loved for us to come home from church and have me tell him to go nap the day away, but he humored us anyway. :)

Such a gorgeous day . . . albeit windy.

Before heading out, we did have dinner. I made him lasagna - his favorite. And the girls were so excited to give him a couple of presents that we got for him. The classic tie - as well as a new white shirt, since I'm pretty sure most of the ones he owns are about 10 or 11 years old! :) I also decided that it was time to buy Nels something exciting with all the moola HE makes. :) Somehow or another, I always weeny out on presents for him . . . there's always something that he needs like new pants or garments or a shirt :) or else everything that he wants is TOO EXPENSIVE! Are all husbands like that? I know my dad is. :) Is there anything that would be exciting to him for under $200? Seriously. So, we decided to splurge and bought him an iPod Touch. He loves it -- when he's home -- and the coolest part? He can listen to Pandora on the radio through the WiFi. (I'm sure that someday in the not too distant future, I will read through this last paragraph and marvel at how antiquated it is. :) Anyway, it's fun.

Five Chicks that pretty much think he's the bomb-diggity.

They sure love this Daddy Man.

Nels is such a fabulous husband and father. I'm so thankful to share my life with him. He's always there for us when we need him and gives so much to each of his ladies.

In high school I never was really one of those girls that dreamed about getting married and having kids . . . heck, even in college that wasn't even something I thought about much --- getting married, sure, but having kids? Not really. Not that I didn't want them or that I was dreaming of some grand career instead, I just couldn't really picture being a mother.

However, with Nels at my side, I could picture being a parent.

With him.

No one else in the world that I would rather share this responsibility with. Forever.

A Very Long Post About a Very Long Night

You know, for the most part, (thus far) I don't think that having four kids is a lot more work than having three -- or almost even two. As you have another baby, the older ones keep getting older. Thereby, requiring less of me as they become more independent and also they learn to occupy and entertain the younger ones (Elsie, in particular). There is definitely more mess, with more children -- more toys, more laundry, more dishes -- but mess is inevitable. I've been cleaning up "mess" for a LONG time - LOTS of it - and what's more laundry or more dishes? I already hate doing it - having one less load wouldn't change that. :) So, most of the time, I haven't felt that this transition has been too dramatic.

There are, however, a couple of exceptions to this rule. Shopping and Bedtime. These are times when having more children ABSOLUTELY makes exponentially more chaos. Especially with a newborn. Now shopping? I can learn to live with rarely going to the store. I can learn to make due with what we have in our home, even if it means using baby wipes instead of toilet paper or a day or so -- or even having every person in the family eat something different for dinner because we don't have enough of any one thing to feed everyone the same. :) However, bedtime (unfortunately) cannot be bypassed.

Case in point.

Tonight Nels is with some friends filming . . . whatever. The details of what he is doing are really irrelevant, aside from the fact that this is more of a recreational activity. - Not work or necessarily money related. I'm glad that he's having fun. So Nels is gone for the evening. His parents are in town and we spent the evening with them swimming at their hotel pool. Nels needed to meet up with friends as 7:15, we didn't get home until 7:20 and he still needed to get ready. The girls were tired and hungry.

I immediately began figuring out dinner with three little people hovering around me (and the refrigerator) wondering what and WHEN I was going to feed them. We settled on tacos and I shooed them out of the kitchen for the tenth time in as many minutes. Violet was still snoozing blissfully in her car seat as I began cooking hamburger and kissed Nels goodbye. Fifteen seconds after he drives off, the girls are once again circling around me at the stove and Violet begins howling from the next room.

I am faced with a decision here. Do I stop making dinner right now? Delaying the feeding of my ravenous little beasts - to feed their sister? Who could, quite possibly decide to take the next twenty minutes nursing before she will allow me to finish dinner. Twenty minutes of nursing, twenty minutes to finish dinner, twenty minutes for girls to eat dinner. At least an extra HOUR until the girls can get in bed and it's already 7:45 -- Hazel has school in the morning and she's already exhausted. OR do I NOT feed my starving Violet, finish making dinner, and then feed her while the other girls are eating -- thus combining activities and getting my girls in bed about half an hour earlier?

Poor little doll screamed her little head off - strapped into the front carrier - the entire twenty minutes that it took me to finish the tacos and get them dished up for everyone. :(

As I'm sitting at the dinner table, discreetly feeding Violet while also "gently encouraging" the other three "starving" children to please eat and stop poking, talking, picking, disassembling, etc., Elsie proceeds to sit up on the back of her booster chair and inform me that she needs to use the potty. As I'm instructing her to get down and go do so, she proceeds to empty her bladder right then and there - filling up her booster seat and overflowing onto the floor.

I get her down, one-handedly take off her sopping drawers and shoo her to the the toilet. Hazel finishes eating at this point and I ask her if she thinks she can manage putting a "nighttime" diaper on Elsie while I finish feeding Violet. SURE! sure . . .

The next ten minutes are spent still "gently encouraging" Lilie to stop picking apart her tortilla and spilling out its contents all over the pee-covered floor, while Hazel chases Elsie screaming around the kitchen and down the hall.

Lilie and Violet both finally finish eating. I capture the Streaker, instruct Lilie and Hazel on the specifics (for the billionth time) of brushing teeth and using the toilet in less than 45 minutes, put nighttime diaper on said Streaker, and sit her back down (in a different chair, of course) at the dinner table to finish her taco.

Hazel and Lilie actually brush their teeth AND use the toilet in record time, we have "family prayer" without Elsie, and amazingly neither of them throw a fit when I kiss them and send them to tuck themselves into their beds.

Elsie spends the next twenty minutes demolishing and slowly devouring morsel after morsel of her taco, while I once again feed Violet who has decided that she is still hungry. All the while, I keep reminding Elsie to stop talking and keep eating. She eats one black bean or one piece of cheese. "Eat your taco, Elsie." "What you want me to do?" "Eat your food." "This food? You want me to eat my food?" "Yes. Eat your taco." "Okay. Eat it?" "Yes. That food." Picks up small piece of tortilla and eats it, then starts trying to get down. "Eat your taco, Elsie." "What you want me to do?" "Eat your food." --- And the conversation continues in this cycle for the next twenty minutes. She and Violet finally finish and I then get the disgusting opportunity to clean up the pee-filled seat and pee-smeared floor, while Elsie "helps" Violet "stay asleep" while erratically swinging her back and forth in the baby swing. (No harm came to Violet whilst on the receiving end of this sisterly love -- beyond being woke up.)

Ten minutes later, Elsie was FINALLY in bed.

The dishes are exploding out of the sink, I just started the washer to RE-wash a load of laundry that I forgot was in there two days ago, the basement is covered in forts, dinosaurs, wii remotes, and dress up clothes, I have an unfinished library book that's due tomorrow, a bank account that hasn't been balanced for three weeks, and my body is still covered in chlorine from this afternoon. But you know what, now that I've recorded this night for future laughs, I'm going to cuddle up in my bed with my snuggly little baby (who will want to eat again in half an hour) and watch The Biggest Loser. Dishes, Laundry, Cleaning, Balancing, and Showers will all still be there and need to be done again tomorrow.

Bedtime is not my favorite time of the day . . .

Courage

So this is something that I've been thinking about for a while now. I think I'm ready to share. --- Or at least record it for myself.

As I've thought about the world that we live in, admittedly my biggest, most pressing concern (and has been for the past 6 years) is for my kids. We live in a wicked world - full of perversion, flippancy, distractions, irreverence, laziness, and just plain evil (among other things), in my ever-so-humble opinion. I know the world that I was raised in, and it definitely had it's pitfalls, but I look today, even after only 10 years and barely recognize things. I worry. Plain and simple. And I've been worried for a long time about HOW. How do I teach them, how do I keep them strong? How do I give them what they need?

I'd like to share a few of the things that I think the good Lord has shared with me. First and foremost, I MUST do my part. I MUST do the things that our dear prophets and leaders have been urging us for generations to do --- all of those sweet and inspired "Sunday School" answers. Prayer, Scripture Study, Family Home Evening, Temple Worthiness and Attendance, Time Together - working and having fun, etc.

And secondly, (I feel this SO strong - down into my bones - every time I think about it, I feel on fire) these sweet children of mine were SENT here, for such a time as this. They've been waiting, preparing, and anticipating coming HERE at THIS time. For a reason. Heavenly Father has sent each of us at the time when we needed to be here -- when HE needs us to be here. My kids - all the children being sent here right now - are ready. They are strong and they are good. For you parents out there, can't you FEEL it? Can't you feel it in your kids, how incredible they are?! Can you feel their strength? It overwhelms me. I feel so blessed to be their mother!

As I was voicing some of my fears to my own sweet mother a few months ago --- talking about all sort of things - the world we live in, sending my sweet Hazel to school this fall, learning how to deal with other people's kids :) -- I had an epiphany. As I feel fearful for my children, THEY will think there is something to be afraid of. Does that make sense? They will feel my fears and they will be afraid also. --- But I tell you what, there is no room in their mission for fear. If they are filled with fear, they won't be able to feel the faith that is vitally important to their success in this life - in accomplishing the work they are sent here to do. I, as their mother, have got to teach them courage, not fear. Teach them that they are capable to stand against ANY of the wickedness in this world, as long as they have the Lord on their side. I need to teach them that they can, and less of what they can't. 

But then I wonder, can I do it? Am I strong enough?? While this has been weighing heavily on my mind the past few months, I remembered a talk, given by Pres. Hinckley at BYU-Idaho, the day they dedicated the Hinckley Building in 2002. I was able to find a copy of the talk online and would like to share it with you --- as a sweet reminder of the things that he OFTEN said of our generation.

I love this man! I'm so thankful for living prophets on the earth today. 

I know this post is entirely random, but I feel so strongly about it and I feel the desire to share. As I was listening to Glenn Beck yesterday, I was shocked as he expressed basically the same exact feelings that I have been having. It was so weird and affirming. :) These kids are so amazing! They are so READY. I'm excited for them --- and I have a feeling that they are too! :)