GoPro Adventures

Nels is awesome.

From our Mother's Day adventure at Kootenai Falls.

Panang Curry

I know you've all heard me rave about Yumprint many times before, but seriously, I'm just going to keep going on about it because it's amazing. Also, who doesn't love getting recipes from the people you love? So if you haven't joined, go do it. Now. And if you have and then forgot? Go. Now. Go. Go.

I will never lose my grocery list or menu again. A miraculous thing, for sure. {happy sigh}

I hopped onto Yumprint to check what's for dinner tonight and smiled. This recipe is just too great to not share.

My cousin sent it to me years ago and then often told me that she was making it for dinner. Because I'm an *ex-* cautious cook, I never made it. It had ingredients that I'd never used - foreign things like coconut milk and fish sauce. (Yes. I'm a wuss.) However, after joining Yumprint and spying a picture of it (I LOOOOOOVE Indian food), I gave it a go when I had company coming into town and wanted to wow them.

It is an amazing recipe.

Super easy, fast, and incredibly tasty.

A couple of notes: the one strange ingredient that it calls for is "kafir lime leaves". What is that? Who knows. Certainly not me or the cousin who shared it with me. Instead I just wing it and add a little bit of lime zest and a squeeze of fresh lime juice - IF I've got one on hand - otherwise, I just leave it out.

And second, a primary ingredient, curry paste, is essential. The recipe calls for Panang, but I've been informed that the red curry paste you can find at your local grocer works great as well. If you live in a city you can definitely find the panang paste at your local Asian market. {Next time I'm in Spokane, I'm going to have to track one down and stock up.} It's pretty inexpensive and with one can, I've made it probably 5+ times. After opening, I just store the extra in my freezer.

Without further ado:

PANANG CURRY SAUCE
2 pounds meat (beef, chicken, or pork)
1 diced bell pepper
3-5 diced green onions
1 can Coconut milk
Panang Curry paste to taste (start with a TB, it is hot) or red curry paste
2 TB fish sauce
2 TB Kafir Lime Leaves (definitely optional - but if I've got it on hand, I like to add a little lime zest)
½ cup Basil
2 TB sugar (I use honey instead)
Unsalted peanuts


Cut your meat into thin slices. Using a medium to large skillet, pan fry the meat until almost done, then remove it and set aside.

Sauté diced bell pepper and green onions.

Using medium heat, add four TB of coconut milk, and bring to a boil.

Add one TB of curry paste.

Put the meat back in and stir until it is thoroughly cooked.

Add in half the remaining coconut milk. Stir. Then add the fish sauce, sugar, and remaining coconut milk.

When the coconut milk thickens (We prefer it to have a more soupy consistency), add the basil and lime leaves. Taste it and adjust panang curry paste, fish sauce, or sugar depending on your preference.

Serve over hot rice and garnish with unsalted peanuts.

On the Mend

That last post cracks me up!

I was so frustrated and SO mad. It was one of those weird days.

Then I spent Friday and Saturday sick in bed. It was sad. See?

very pathetic and pitiful.

But I did get to listen to almost the entire book of "Unbroken" and Nels was an amazing Mr. Mom on Saturday. That wonderful man washed and folded ALL the laundry! I should get sick more often.

In other news, some good things:

• We hung up Nels's hammock last night in the backyard. Hello, old friend! We haven't enjoyed one another's company for nearly two years. You were missed. Welcome to paradise!
• I love riding lawn mowers. - Unless I'm drugged on Benadryl. Then they lull me to sleep. A summer job discovery. Ever since, I lay off the drugs when I'm mowin'.
• I can see the floor in my van. The WHOLE floor. It's a miracle.
• Nels played catch with me yesterday. Makes me SO happy. and sweaty. I played varsity softball when I was a Freshman, then we moved to Bountiful when I was a Sophomore and I never tried out for the team because I was too intimidated. Another true story.
• Lilie has a great eye and is an excellent batter.
• Violet loves kickball! When Daddy played with the girls the other day, she was the only one he could keep interested. I think we're going to have to give it another go.
• Clara hates her snipped-off binkies and tells me off every time I give it to her. She, too, LOVES the riding lawn mower. She has become the tantrum queen. She is also a champion sleeper.
• Elsie needs a break from technology. :) The other day she was playing "Dinosaur Train" and after regaling me with "facts" like, "Mom, did you know that dinosaurs lived in outerspace?!" (I think there may have been a slight misunderstanding there) exclaimed, "I love information!" Trips to the non-fiction section of the library are forthcoming.
• Hazel and the hammock are going to clock a lot of hours in this summer. That girl loves to read. She's burned through almost the entire Percy Jackson series (along with many other books) in the last couple of months. 
• Three more weeks of school! - Then I'm toying with the idea of going AWOL for the entire month of June.

Hullabaloo

Being a mom is seriously hard.

I cannot do it all.

I recall the words of my sister a few years ago when asked why she doesn't update her blog, "I don't need one more thing to fail at." At the time, my cousin and I scoffed. What could she be talking about? She's an amazing mom to four perfect children. She's talented. She volunteers. She keeps an immaculate home and yard. She serves in the church. She is kind and graceful and beautiful. What is she talking about???

Yet here I am, five or so years down the road, and I finally understand.

How can I keep it all together? 

I read poems:

Song for a Fifth Child 

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton 

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing and butter the bread,

Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

YES. This probably is a poem for the mom with five kids. She's learned that it's okay to leave the dishes. Let's go play in the backyard and make dandelion chains! I've got three loads of laundry to fold, but let's go to the beach instead. I should be wiping down the table so that I don't have dried spaghetti sauce stuck onto it tomorrow morning while we're rushing to eat breakfast, but instead I'm going to rock my sweet little one-year-old to sleep.

But you know what? Tomorrow comes.

Someone has to do the shopping. Someone has to fold the laundry. Someone has to make dinner. Someone should clean the month old spilled juice off the floor. (thank goodness the floors are dirty enough to cover it so it's no longer sticky, just unsightly) Someone is still thinking of the unhappy morning that was had - arguing with her oldest daughter ---- around and around and around in the never-ending attempts to bargain.

There are still appointments to keep, budgets to balance, bills to pay, nutritious meals to make.

If I don't wash the laundry, NO ONE HAS SOCKS OR CLEAN PANTS OR UNDIES OR SWIMMING SUITS TO WEAR TO THE BEACH.

And if I don't go shopping, there's nothing to EAT. Because we already ate all of our easy meals. Everyone's hungry and there aren't even saltines.

If I don't keep my appointments I let myself and others down and nobody gets their immunizations and then you're playing catchup before kindergarten registration.

And what about my daughter and the arguing? How do I change that? It's all my fault. I know. But then? You know what? It's NOT all my fault! How do I change a dynamic that has been since she started talking? How do I give her independence and confidence? How do I let her know that I love her more deeply than I ever thought possible, that she is beautiful and smart and so very good? that she brings me so much happiness every single day? How? When every conversation that we have seems to end with frustration and tears? HOW DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT IT WHEN I'VE GOT 16,000 OTHER THOUGHTS THAT I'M JUGGLING?

How do I kiss them all goodnight and tuck them in, when I've still got dishes to do so that I can make breakfast the next morning - so that I can actually just sit down and think of nothing before we start again? I kiss them, I sing, I tuck them in and then bedtime never ends. I need a drink. I need a hug - you didn't give me one. Yes I did. Please go to sleep, you've already been out of your room 13 times tonight. It's 9:30 and you were so tired this morning and crying about everything so PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE I WANT TO END THIS NIGHT WITH YOU HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being a mom is really hard.

This time will pass, much to my sorrow. I love my kids and I love the stages that they are at. I love them so much and wish they could always stay little.

But being a mom is the hardest thing ever.

and I'm going to be late for Clara's 18 month appointment - that I forgot to schedule 3 months ago.



Post Edit:

I was late.

Not because I decided to put on makeup to cover up the zits (why do I have zits? I'm not 13! Oh. It's because I don't wash my face at night.), because I made up for that by not looking for clean jeans, but wearing the same ones I have for the past week.

And not because I was looking for a clean shirt for Clara, because I just let her wear the one that she wore to bed last night.

But because today I found that Clara has learned how to open the back door all by herself. And as I ran through our two acres - franticly looking in the shed and the woods - hysterically calling her name with visions of her crawling through the barbed-wire fence to go pet the horsies (which is what she was doing three days ago when the sisters were supposed to be "watching" her), I realized that I'm

totally. losing. it.

I finally found her sitting very quietly on the recessed front step, sucking on rocks. and proceeded to cry a lot.

I also realized this while yelling through the phone at the dr's office receptionist when she said we had to cancel our stupid appointment. Because even though I sit for a minimum of 20 minutes in their lobby every time we have an appointment, apparently if I'm going to be 12 minutes late, that's their policy.

Then when we got back home and Clara was screaming for her binky and thrashing around because I won't give it to her unless she's taking a nap, I snapped. I cut the end off the bink, gave it to her, she screamed and threw a huge fit and I put her down for a nap . . . but had to hold the door closed for a while so she couldn't come out because, again, she can now open doors.

I'm losing my mind.

Sunshine is my Love Language

There was a time when I had envisioned that Mother's Day was equivalent to a Day Off - a Free Day. I even spent a few of them steaming about how they weren't.

I can remember tearful phone calls to my own mother, crying about how Nels was sick in bed or it was cold and I still was making dinner or how I missed my Mommy. :) She gently commiserated with me, recalling many, many a Mother's Day that was uneventful or stressful when I was the one twisting around on her skirt or having a meltdown in the front pew. Then she told me that she'd long ago decided to stop imagining Mother's Day to be something it's not and to spend the day enjoying BEING a mother.

Those words have stuck with me and sunk in a little more each year.

This year I LOVED my day enjoying those people that make me a mother.

As with every year, we took a beautiful drive. "Rachel, what do you want to do on your special day?"

I want to be outside with the people I love.

I am still amazed with the breathtaking beauty of this place. We drove up through Bonner's Ferry, waved to the Canadian border, and drove into lovely western Montana to stop at Kootenai Falls. So beautiful!

We then hiked downriver to the swinging bridge.

Seriously. Yikes! and fun. and Yikes! :)

Do they look nervous? Yes.

My two older girls were a *little* scaredy. 

The younger three? Fearless, I tell you! 

Skipping and hopping . . . I think age makes you more aware of your mortality. :)

^SHE^ made me very nervous . . . 

. . . not so nervous that we actually crossed the bridge like this - she just thought it was hilarious . . . 

. . . but more like this - where I almost squeezed her independent little hand off.

SHE LOVED THE BRIDGE!

She doesn't like to hold hands --- "NO! No, no, Mommy!"

photo bomb! :)

She made up for being a stinker-pot by giving me lots of kisses and hugs from behind. :)

I love these GoPro-wide-angle shots. They make everyone look funny.
I believe Nels is jogging in this picture. Violet clearly thinks it's a blast. :)

After some fun hiking at the falls, we headed down the road a bit to Ross Creek Cedars State Park - an old-growth cedar forest with some trees that are over 500 years old. It was beautiful and magical and we can't wait to return again when we have more time for make-believe.

The perfect FORT! 

Daddy helped explore hollow trees.

strike a COOL pose! :)

As we were hiking back to the van there was some kind of lovely whistling sound all around in the trees. Some sort of evening bird, I'm guessing? The girls preferred my idea that it was tiny little fairies. :)

It was such a beautiful day! How thankful I am for all that I learn and all that I give and all that I receive. I am so blessed.

And how thankful I am for my own sweet Mother. I can never be out in the glorious world without wishing that she were with me - without wishing that I could share the beauty with her - the beauty of the earth and the beauty of my happy children. I think of her daily. How grateful I am for her goodness, her selflessness, her love, and her example. I owe all that I am to my Mama.

I am blessed to come from a long line of beautiful, generous, hard working, faithful, strong women. I can't wait to know them someday. I can't wait to know my grandmothers for the incredible women that they are. I have great confidence that they are beside me often as I struggle my way through this life. I believe with all of my heart that a mother's love does not end with this life.

How thankful I am for that.

What a magnificent thing it is to be a mother.

Dandaidlion Chains

Thirty-One and Counting

I don't know why or how it happened, but somehow I never connected that after 30, comes 31. It was a strange day about 6 months ago when I realized that little tidbit. Yikes!

For my birthday this year, all I wanted to do was be go for a drive and be outside with my family. Funny how that seems to be all I want to do every year.

It makes me happy to feel the fresh air and sunshine.

This birthday was a little rough. I was feeling massively homesick on my birthday - and for about a week afterward. And while I miss my family, it wasn't just them - it was feeling lonely for HOME, for rest. I don't know why I can't get past this. I'm so tired of this feeling. Our landlord decided to put the house back on the market and it's been throwing me for a loop. I've been able to really settle into this home and our lives here and I've felt very peaceful, but it seems that every six months something comes up. Having realtors bring people by the house upwards of 4 times a week is annoying and makes it impossible for me to forget that this life is temporary and I am not the one in charge of deciding how long it will last.  - Luckily, I'm not overly concerned about the house selling - but it's still making me kinda grouchy.

My birthday fell on a Monday and Nels happily took the day off from work and I let the girls stay home from school. Hooray! I woke to happy children singing and bringing me breakfast in bed. What a sweet way to start the morning!

Clara helped herself to my berries. :) I love her tiny tootsies in this photo. :)

Then we spent the rest of the morning enjoying a day off. That afternoon we packed into the van and headed south to Lake CDA to ride a different part of the Trail of the Coeur d'Alenes bike trail. It was a beautiful spring day.

The only way to keep Clara from diving off the dock or performing the "wet noodle" act.

We loved watching the coots, herons, osprey, and other birds.

Lilie made up wonderfully detailed stories about this abandoned

"Pirate Ship" - she was just certain that there was treasure inside. :)

We rode up the river a couple of miles. It was slightly chilly as the sun was on it's way down, but it was so fun to listen to my girls and the stories that they make up together as they explore the world around them. Their enthusiasm always fills me with gratitude.

I'm so thankful for my life. It is truly beautiful. I'm so thankful for all those that I love and who love me. People who share their hearts with me. What a beautiful thing it is to weave our lives together. I truly feel that it is one of the greatest blessings of my life. There were so many people from both near and far who let me know that they were thinking of me on my birthday. Thank you!

And how blessed I am to share my life with six of the very best friends that the Lord could ever give me! There is no one of earth that I'd rather share my birthday with MORE than these . . .

I'm excited for what this next year holds.