There is Springtime in my Soul Today...

... for when the Lord is near,

the dove of peace sings in my heart,

the flow'rs of grace appear!

As Spring is springing in the Inland Northwest, I find myself compelled to try and capture each ray of sunshine.

I know that there are months of rain ahead, but when the clouds break and the temperatures stretch toward 60, my little feet just can't stay inside any longer. As I revel in the warmth my thoughts continually turn to my blessings. "Heavenly Father loves us so much!" "Thank you, Father, for letting us be here!"

No wonder I love springtime so much --- and Sandpoint is just glorious in the spring!

While browsing the internet looking for fun day trips in the area I came across information on the  Trail of the Coeur d'Alenes - a 72 mile paved bike trail that used to be railroad tracks running from the Montana border following the river and lakes through the mountains down past Lake CDA to Plummer.

I'd been watching the forecast all last week and when Saturday rolled around, we had blue skies and 60's. We packed up our bikes, our lunch, and our kids and drove an hour and a half to Heyburn State Park at the southern end of Lake Coeur d'Alene. What a beautiful place! Upon entering the park we were greeted by beautiful migrating trumpeter swans {they're HUGE!} and found our way to the bike trail and a picnic area.

pic via

There is a bridge that spans the south end of the lake, which is where we were starting on the trail. We pulled out our lunch and unloaded the bikes only to realize that we'd forgotten a vital piece of equipment! The little metal arm that attaches the bike trailer to the bike.

{Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!!}

I was seriously SO bummed. I'd planned the trip, we'd borrowed a bike, and we'd spent the whole day getting ready and driving down, only to find that we couldn't all go. Nels and I would have to take turns playing at the playground with Violet and Clara while the others rode around.

Big huge sigh and near-tears while I sat in the back of the van getting a handle on my disappointment.

{enter my knight in shining armor}

I finally pulled myself together and started making lunch for the girls while Nels began looking around the parking lot (?). A few minutes later I noticed him over at the bikes with a long stick and a look of determination. When he started trying it out on the slot where the metal arm is supposed to fit, I just smiled, shook my head, and refrained from telling him it was pointless - that it would never work - and just kept making sandwiches. He found some random tools in the van and started whittling away. {more head shaking}

After a few minutes, Nels had bored a hole through one end with a tiny pocket knife and a screwdriver and amazingly was able to attach that silly stick to the trailer.

At that point, I started to see the possibilities and together (using whatever we could find in the van) we were able to jimmy rig the whole thing to my bike. My hopes began to rise, but I was still feeling pretty skeptical as to whether our creation would support not only the trailer, but two wiggly kids being pulled up and down the bridge, around corners . . . or what would we do if we were 3 miles away and then it all fell apart?! AHHH!

Oh well!!!

I admired our handiwork, strapped in our kids, and told my brain to SHUT IT! while Nels readied his GoPro.

With good reason, Clara looks a little concerned.

Not Vi! She's all smiles!

Off we go!

Much to my surprise, not only did our contraption make it out of the parking lot, it conquered the bridge with ease! so we just kept on pedaling...

Occasionally I'd have to stop and tighten things up, but there were plenty of opportunities . . . 

. . . while Nels played with his toy.   :)

He hooked that little camera up to everyone and every moving thing that he could. His head, his chest, his bike, Lilie, Hazel, my bike, Elsie's bike . . .

Elsie had it the longest and she was a hoot! The camera would take a picture every couple seconds. We got some good ones!

wide-angle lenses make people look extra funny!

That girl, the same one who boobed and whined on every bike ride we went on last Fall, decided that she wanted to be out in front the entire 6 miles we rode that day. We had just crossed the bridge when I heard her tell me, "Mom, I just LOVE to push myself!!!"

Ha ha ha hahaaaaa! Who is this child of mine? She kept us laughing the whole way.

{singing}

{racing Dad!!!} my favorite!

Don't ask me how on earth she didn't end up in the lake while she was doing this . . .

. . . clearly she's a much more talented rider than I give her credit for!

I've always thought that Lake Coeur d'Alene is pretty, but this area of the lake is absolutely breathtaking! As we were riding, Lilie told me, "Mom, you know how I was complaining about being in the car for so long? Well, I decided it was TOTALLY worth it!"

I couldn't agree more.

The whole afternoon was just perfect. Hazel had a grand time picking buttercups and Lilie sang "All Things Bright and Beautiful" most of the way. It was so wonderful to spend the afternoon all together enjoying this magnificent world that the Good Lord has given us. We will definitely be returning in the coming months as things green up.

I also found my dream house while riding. Can you imagine living on the lake all year-round? Nels needs to figure out how to work from home --- that's what I think.

Once back at the bridge, we stopped at the top to take some pictures and wouldn't ya know it? As if things could get any more perfect, I looked out over the water and there was a bald eagle fishing for dinner.

C'mon, Clara! Come back to Mommy!

Aren't they awesome?!

As we were riding back, I knew that our little stick was on it's last leg. It had started bowing more and more and to balance the weight better I had to tell Violet to sit back often, but I didn't realize just how close it was. As we pulled back into the lot where our car was parked, it gave out. It couldn't make it any further.

I can't help but think that Heavenly Father blessed us to have such a beautiful afternoon together. I felt completely surrounded by His love and a sweet assurance that He is aware of me and my family.

As we loaded the girls and the bikes back into the van, the frogs were chirping, the sun was setting, and I couldn't imagine a better spring day.

There is gladness in my soul today,

and hope and praise and love,

for blessings which he gives me now,

for joys "laid up" above!

Oh there's sunshine, blessed sunshine

when the peaceful, happy moments roll!

When Jesus shows his smiling face,

there is sunshine in {my} soul.

Good News, Good Night

It's only a little thing . . . but I wanted to record it.

For those times when the exhaustion comes crashing in and there are frustrated words at the close of day. I want to remember that there are a whole lot of sweet closings, too.

Tonight Nels stopped in for a quick dinner before heading back out to visit some families in the ward and then to go play games at a friend's house. I can honestly say that after ten years of marriage and nearly ten years of children, heading up bedtime doesn't bother me too much anymore. I really love when he's here, but it doesn't weigh on me like it used to. --- And "solo" doesn't happen even a fraction of what it used to.

On good days, I feel like a master conductor - orchestrating five or six different activities with grace. (On good days. Not all days. Many days feel like I'm in the middle of a dog fight . . . ) "Have you brushed your teeth?" "Lilie will you help Violet put on her jammies?" "Hazel, you need to finish clearing the table." All while trying to occupy Clara, while shoving dishes in the dishwasher faster than she can race back across the kitchen to "help".

Tonight, everyone was fed, dressed, and brushed before 7:00. Nice. I called the girls into the living room to read from the Book of Mormon for just a few minutes.

We really suck at Family Home Evening and I can't be on time to church to save my soul. We ROCK family prayer and scripture study is hit or miss --- more hits this past year and a half. Usually both are a little like a circus act --- and not a well-orchestrated one --- but tonight, it was just plain good.

We read from one of the final chapters of Helaman and the girls were full of questions. We had the sweetest discussion about baptism. About resurrection of body and soul. The Spirit was there and we spoke of repentance. Hazel sweetly headed up apologies to everyone present for anything that she'd ever done wrong; :) Lilie sheepishly followed her lead as she snuggled into my side, ending with a family hug and giggles.

Tonight the words, "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." (2 Nephi 25:26) These words have been swirling in my mind.

I asked my girls, "Do you know what the word "gospel" means?"

"No."

"It means 'good news'. The Good News of Jesus Christ. What does that mean? What is Jesus' good news?"

"That we can live again?"

"Yes. That we can live again."

A Year

I've been taking quite the blogging hiatus.

What can I say?

We've been living.

And summer in Sandpoint is, to me, what living is all about. :) I LOVE it here.

As I looked at the date this morning - the 20th of July - I couldn't help but think back to one year ago. We'd just returned home from our very first trip to Sandpoint.

It was a tumultuous trip, filled with hope and fear and peace and worry, but it was also a trip where I couldn't help but think over and over again, "I could live here."

It seemed to be a place of respite. A place where we could breathe and reconnect as a family. A place where life could slow down and where we could find peace.

And while there have been sacrifices that have come with the path we've chosen, I have felt the hand of the Lord here. I have felt His loving arms around me. I have learned --- deeper than before --- that my Father in Heaven is aware of me and my family.

It has been all that I hoped it would be. And more.

A year ago, today, I posted this post.

I said that I felt that PRAYER was the key to what I'd been seeking.

I've spent a lot of time in the past year thinking about prayer. A lot of ups and a lot of downs. Joy and tears.

What does it mean? What does prayer accomplish? WHAT do I pray for? How do we pray? How do answers come?

I've vacillated between feeling the need to pour out my every thought and hope and "order" in prayer and then feeling like I don't know why I should pray at all.

Not to say that I don't feel that prayer is necessary or that I don't have faith in the power or prayer or whatever, but feeling like . . . I don't know . . . what's the point? If the good Lord knows the beginning and the end, if whatever is going to happen will continue to happen anyway, then WHY do we pray at all?

Perhaps every prayer should just be filled with thanks and ended with, "Thy will be done."

And yet, while I think that maybe that approach is not so far off, I still feel that there is something lacking in it. A deeper relationship with my Father that I ache to have in my life.

This year has been a year of growth for me, and for us as a family.

I can feel the Lord teaching me. Guiding me in my journey to know Him and myself better.

Through faith, I am coming to understand what the phrase, "Thy will be done" means. That God LOVES His children. That He knows, so perfectly, how to give Good Gifts.

I am learning that our lives are our own and that Heavenly Father loves the individuality of us all.

I'm learning more and more that the Lord does hear and answer our prayers, that prayer is important, that He delights to bless us. I'm learning that as I continue to seek His will, keep His commandments, and then do my best, the understanding I seek will come with time.

I am so thankful for the past year that we've had here. 

And I'm so thankful that we don't have to know it all today.

Thoughts on prayer? What have or are you learning? Share.

The Scenes of Sunday

I love Sunday.

I love this Sunday.

Last Sunday, after being late for church three Sundays in a row I made a vow to never be late - because of me - again. Sure, if a bomb blows up in my living room, I'll give myself a break --- but never again because I wasn't ready.

(That being said, I have five other people to get ready every Sunday as well, so it's not like I'm sittin' around on my rear all morning or anything when everyone is ready to walk out the door but me . . . )

So. This morning I was up by 6:30. Showered, dressed, and ready before breakfast. I got all five girls ready with 3 bathed, 4 heads of blonde hair curled, five bodies dressed with SHOES! and dinner 80% made - all while Nels was writing a talk for Sacrament Meeting.

(A talk which, by the way, went incredibly well. It was so good.)

We were there with time to spare.

I love this Sunday.

I love sitting by the fireplace and looking out the back windows at the mountains and the sunset while Nels sleeps on the floor next to me on Sunday.

I love hearing my girls teach themselves how to play the piano on Sunday.

I love this beautiful girl who begged to stay in her purple church dress and frilly slip - that comes and lays her head on my knees on Sunday.

I love sweet sisters who love and snuggle and maul each other on Sunday.

I love this baby that is not only crawling and pulling herself up to everything and cruising around the furniture - but also has just started letting go of that furniture and standing all on her own for a second or two on this Sunday.

Even though she doesn't realize that she's still just too little to do such things.

And I love this little Chick with the chicks who is conspicuously absent in all the photos that I took on this Sunday afternoon because she was graciously sleeping off her crazies. :) 

Fabulous Friday

Wow. What a blah person I've been on here lately. I'm so sorry. I've been no fun at all --- and, you know, I'm usually just such a barrel of laughs (ha ha) that I just can't stand it anymore. I need something positive and upbeat on here.

In my defense, the past month has been crazy busy. We've gone to Utah once, spent a week and a half over in western Idaho, had family and friends staying at our house four or five times, on top of working and appointments and trying to have some free time on occasion . . . Yeah. It's been kooky.

So, I don't have time for much, but I think that we can breeze through a little Friday fabulous-ness.

1. I've got just over eight weeks until this baby is due. I just can't believe that. Less than two months. Today my cousin said, "Well, you'll be in your third trimester soon . . . " Umm. Yep. Passed over that bridge a while ago. :) Crazy. I don't have anything ready, but that's okay. I don't like getting things ready. 'Cause them I'M ready. And once I'm ready, it's time to get it done. And we're not there yet and I'm not ready.         So.          Eight weeks is a long time anyway.

2. My two big girls played at a friend's house this afternoon for four hours. Violet also took a two and a half hour nap while they were gone. And Elsie was happy as a lark to play by herself and just check in with me every once in a while. What a weird day. And now they are back home, asking a hundred questions, and Violet is just awake, sitting on my lap wanting to go outside, but refusing to go with her sisters, and crying her little tears and wiping her big boogers all over my shirt while yelling for her daddy.

-------------- Ummm. That was supposed to be fabulous. -------------- And somehow as I was writing it, everything turned upside down. ----------------- Hmmmmmm . . . well. I got a few semi-childless hours in today. It was nice. And prior to the last five minutes, the child-filled moments of my day were really wonderful too.

3. Today I woke up to a clean kitchen, fed the kids cold cereal (because I've decided that I'm on a "breakfast cooking strike" for at least a couple of weeks), a long shower - complete with shaved legs, actually blow drying and curling my hair, makeup, and painted toenails. I then took the kids to the pool - but only long enough to have fun and not so long that I have to start wondering why I torture myself with excessive ambition. :) Afterward we picked up the daddy that my kids hadn't seen in several days (due to repeated late nights at work), got lunch, and had a picnic next to the river. It was lovely.

4. The Fourth of July was spectacular! Last Saturday, Nels was hired to work a camera at a big shindig taking place up in Driggs, so we decided to pack up the kids and take a drive over and enjoy a few hours together as a family beforehand.

The event was held at the Huntsman Springs Resort (owned by "the Huntsman Family" - i.e. The Huntsman Cancer Institute and Jon Huntsman, Jr., presidential candidate). There was a big carni (do you know how hard it is to type while a one-year-old is trying to alternately force a rock and a crochet hook into your hands WHILE your typing and isn't taking NO for an answer????) - carnival - complete with bouncy castles and funnel cakes - during the day and then that evening Glenn Beck was speaking (which is what Nels had been hired to run a camera for) followed by a fireworks show. Other than the obvious things, like food, it was all free - with any proceeds being donated to cancer research.

Magically, out of the multitudes of people that were in attendance, we managed to plop our blankets down right next to the family of some of our very best friends (who are currently going to school in Wisconsin) and another family that's in our ward. It's a small world. And the kids had a great time playing until the show got underway. Hazel listened to most of Glenn's talk with me, saying over an over, "I really like what he's saying." When I quizzed her about what exactly he was saying and what she liked, she told me, "Everything. Like how great America is." I love my little patriotic girl.

Even though Nels didn't get to be with us as we watched fireworks that night, I was SO happy that we'd gone. The show was BIG and we were so close. The looks on all four of my children's faces were absolutely priceless as they all snuggled up next to me - I mean, on top of me. Violet snuggled up with me and loved pointing to the "pritties", Elsie laid half her body in my lap, Hazel tucked herself under my free arm, and Lilie lay her head on my other arm. My sciatic nerve was flaring up like crazy and what wasn't hurting had (mercifully?) fallen asleep under the weight of me, my uterus, and multiple children, but I would do it all over, again and again, to watch them and hear them sing - at full volume -

"I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me. And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today. 'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA." (Both girls learned this song in school last year.)

I don't care if it is corny, I love that song as much as I did when I first learned and sang it as a grade schooler. And it makes my heart swell with gratitude and pride and my throat choke closed with emotion to hear my children forcefully proclaim love for our great country. It took us about an hour to get out of a crowded, dusty parking lot at eleven o'clock at night and then drive the additional hour (plus) back to Idaho Falls (we barely beat Nels home - who had stayed to help pack up all the camera and video equipment and then drive home with some other crew members), but (again) it was all worth it.

Monday, the Fourth, Nels had the day off work and we spent it playing with our kids, cleaning up, enjoying a visit and a game of Cribbage with Grandpa Chick and his motorcycle-riding buddy - Craig, and watching more fireworks.

I love our country. I love my freedoms. We are so very blessed.

5. Life is good. It's often times crazy and/or frustrating, but it's so good as well. I've felt so strongly lately - as I've contemplated the make up of our family - how wonderfully blessed we are with our four little girls and how happy I am that they are as close together as they are. How blessed my little chickies are to have their sisters. They are absolutely the very best friends. They always have a buddy. They always have a partner in crime. They always have "someone to play with" and someone to help. They are close enough in age that this is possible. They are all growing up together. Sisters make the very best kinds of friends.

I'm so thankful that as they grow, they will know how to interact with other women, how to have healthy relationships with other women. I have realized in the world today, this is often times lacking. Many of the sorrows we encounter in our lives stem from women not knowing how to have healthy relationships with one another. So often feeling as if other women are "competition" rather than the wonderful "sisters" they have the potential of being.

I love both my brothers dearly, but having been raised in a family with four girls, by a mother that also had wonderful relationships with both her sisters, has been an enormous blessing in my life. I'm so glad that my girls will have this opportunity. I'm so excited to have another little sister join our family soon. They will grow to be such a force for good in this crazy world.

6. Tomorrow I have 4 uninterrupted hours with my husband. And he can't get away. We even have a babysitter. It's all scheduled. Now, it's "busy time" at Melaleuca right now. Nels is working long hours -- which will continue for pretty much the rest of the month. To what do we owe this "special" SATURDAY of him giving me his undivided attention? Are we going somewhere romantic? Are we going to do something fun? Are we going to have the time of our lives? Sure! We're going to a mandatory childbirth class at the birth center where we're going to have our baby! Hooray!!! Our FIFTH child and we are taking the Saturday off - with a babysitter and everything - to take a childbirth class. That's hilarious to me. But you know what? I bet we both learn something new. I bet we both have fun. I bet we're both are excited to have four hours of talking about uteruses and perineums . . . wait, what? Okay. Excited might be the wrong word for that one, but doggone it. We will be child-free and it's gonna be FUN!

Sunshine, Bikes, and Vampires

It's been weeks . . . have you missed me? I've missed you.

When I don't post anything on my blog for long periods of time, I feel . . . almost like there's a hole in my life. Like there's something missing. I've analyzed this -- because that's what I do -- and I think I've come up with an explanation.

Lest you think that it's out of vanity or addiction.

I've realized that when I don't blog, I feel like that portion of me and my life starts to evaporate - or cease to exist - anywhere beyond my own memory. - Which, frankly, is questionable at BEST lately. - My thoughts, my feelings, our goings and comings, they cease to be anything but memories.

Gone.

And that makes me sad. When I don't record it, I have nothing to look back on. Nothing to remember of this time in our lives. I love so much and learn so much from what we experience everyday, that I just can't stand for it to be nothing but a vague blip on the map that is my life.

So I write and record and feel anxious when I don't. Not for you, but for me and for my family. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today. Was. Gorgeous.

It was Spring. Really Spring. And my sun-kissed face agrees.

Yesterday I got my "birthday presents" in the mail. A new bike (finally!!) and a new bike trailer.

*sigh* 

I'm so happy about that. I love riding bikes. And I love taking my kids with me . . . wouldn't be nearly as fun without them.

Yesterday evening I spent almost all of it putting together both the bike and the trailer. It wasn't nearly as much fun as I had anticipated . . . because it took so long and we had a few "hiccups" . . . but I tell you what, I think my neighbors were impressed. :) Five months pregnant woman out on her driveway with a toolbox and a bazillion kids milling around, assembling a bicycle. I'm nuts . . . 

. . . but it was well worth the effort (and the swollen feet and the sciatic nerve pain) as I rode with Lilie to school this morning in the crisp Spring air -- Elsie and Violet in tow - literally.

It was such a grueling day.

Rode with Lilie to school.

Rode home.

Cleaned up bedrooms.

Bathed Elsie and Vi.

Watered yard.

Rode to pick up Lilie from school.

Took detour.

Leftovers for lunch.

Vi down for a nap.

Make brownies with Lilie and Elsie.

Play "Dead Man, Dead Man, Come Alive" on the trampoline with Lilie and Elsie. (consisting of me soaking up some vitamin D while laying on the trampoline, grabbing the girls legs and tripping them while they bounced the begeezees out of me, and laughing like crazy while I then used them as pillows and tickled them :)

Eat hot brownies at the park with friends.

Come home and play on the grass with the girls, waiting for Hazel to get home from school.

Ride our bikes to our neighborhood playground. Swing and let all four girls get filthy while playing in the sand.

Pick up tortillas and ice cream and then head over to a friends' house for carne asada and guacamole.

Yes. A grueling day.

The likes of which I rarely allow to happen in my need to "accomplish" something.

But today, I'm really pleased with my accomplishments. I laughed with my kids, spent most of the day outside playing, and showed them that I really love them.

The other kind of days are important too, but today was really wonderful. And I need to remember it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a separate note - and as a parting treat for you this fabulous . . . Friday morning :)  - 

I will now share THIS with you:

 LOL!!! We traded in Lilie's front teeth . . . for a vampire.

:)

Ah. I love that girl. She is so funny.

Both her front teeth have been loose for a few weeks now. However, I've had to restrain myself from even "checking" them because, if it could be helped, I really still wanted her to have them for Genny's wedding. (Me? Vain? Why, yes. Yes, I am.)

A few days after we got back, I was walking into a store with Lilie. I smiled at her, she smiled back and

 WHOA! Lilie? Did you brush your teeth today????

Yes.

Echk! Let me see your mouth.

Her teeth were disgusting! - but she promised she'd been brushing. When she got home, she was told to immediately go brush her teeth and then come show me. Needless to say, it didn't help much . . . and by that time, one of her teeth was practically dangling. - The obvious reason for her horrifying hygiene results.

She put up no fight about pulling it out, but once in there, I realized that the other front tooth was only slightly more attached than the one to be pulled. 

She said NO.

I said I wouldn't --- I just wanted to feel it --- and then I did.

I'm a liar. And compulsive.

But now she can again thoroughly brush her teeth . . . 

. . . and she has been making crazy faces for a week now.

She loves being toothless.

And she is an absolute ham.

Freedom of Choice

What a glorious day. I would be okay if the Fourth of July always fell on a Sunday. It's such a wonderful blessing - and a beautiful reminder - to thank our Heavenly Father for the freedoms we enjoy.

I am so thankful for this country. Even with its flaws, it's so truly incredible. A blessing to each American that we often take for granted. I believe with all of my heart that our Founding Fathers were men inspired by God. Men with the integrity to do the hard thing, to rebel against a country that they loved with their whole hearts, to sacrifice all at the alter of freedom. Freedom for anyone who desired it. For anyone who would work for it. I know that the Constitution is an inspired document. I pray that we can each do our part in preserving it.

I am thankful that my children and I have been born at this time. This is a world full of wickedness and filth, but at the same time, infused with amazing goodness and incredible truth and light. I know that as we stay close to our Father in Heaven, we will be able to stand firm and true in whatever is required of us.

On this day when we celebrate our freedom, I can't help but feel overwhelming gratitude for my Savior. For the FREEDOM that the Atonement and the Gospel bring to me personally.

I know there are many in this world that feel that religion, and the Gospel in particular, are very restrictive. That it limits our choices and freedom. LOL! What an incredible misperception. I don't HAVE to follow the commandments. Nobody watches over my every move controlling my life. I have the agency to do anything I so choose. I CHOOSE to live the gospel. I CHOOSE to follow the commandments. Every person on this Earth will make choices every single day. These are the ones I choose. When I obey I am blessed. I know that by following the counsel given to us by a loving Father, I will always find JOY.

Obedience to God's commandments doesn't guarantee a life free from heartache or sorrow, but the Gospel offers me peace and joy despite any sadness I may encounter.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ provides the ultimate freedom for each of us. Freedom from sin, from sadness, from pain, from loneliness, from despair . . . . For any and all that will choose to receive it. He blesses me liberally for my efforts, my accomplishments, and my desires. I love Him for it, with all of my heart.

I'm so thankful today for the freedom I enjoy. The liberty and agency I'm given to become who I choose to become through the choices I make each day. I love this country and I love my Savior.

IF MAMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY

Wow. My three hundredth post. I have had a lot to say in two and a half years!

----------------------------------------------

I sat down last night to write a post. My three hundredth. The past few days had been such . . . inconsistent ones, that I decided I needed to think about the things that I'm grateful for. However, as I sat in front of my computer, trying to feel grateful, I was having a really hard time. Nels and the girls came into my room, ready for prayer before getting in bed. I knelt down and among the fiasco that is family prayer at our house, I totally lost it. Sorely tempted to grab my keys and leave the house. I got myself under "control" and helped him finish getting the girls in bed. For the remainder of the night Nels kept asking me if I was okay. (Of course I'm fine! Why would you think any different???!) Needless to say, I never quite felt like coming back to my "grateful post". Another thing that obviously doesn't need to be pointed out, but I will anyway, is that hormones, excessive sugar, lack of sleep, and anxiety don't really bode well for anyone in our house.

This morning I woke up to sun shining through my bedroom window. Not the gloomy kind of sun that is shrouded by grey clouds, but bright, cheery, yellow sunshine. As I held the door open for Hazel and Nels as they left for work and school, I could see the little green tips of my daffodils, just starting to push their way to the surface, through the snow still covering my flower beds. And I felt like singing. And I did. And I cleaned the kitchen floor. On my hands and knees - doing a good job of it for the first time in months. :) (Don't think that I don't clean my kitchen floor regularly. With three children, that would be disgusting. But I usually use a mop.) (Also, please don't give me any well-meaning encouragement about nesting -- I've been "nesting" for more than a month now. My floor was just really dirty and I was feeling up to it this morning. :) Even though the yellow sunshine is no longer shining, but is now shrouded with those yucky grey clouds, the temperatures are still reaching toward 40 (!) and it has been happily sprinkling all morning. Not snowing! Oh happy day!

Spring is still probably more than a month away for us here in Eastern Idaho, but the end is in sight and it will come before we know it. I think I could learn a few things from my daffodils this morning.


I AM GRATEFUL

1. Family. I have the best family. My sweet little children and wonderful husband. They make me smile. They are so excited for this baby to come. The "rest" of my family. My sweet siblings and parents. They all love me. - Even though I have not been maintaining "balance" very well lately.

2. Friends. So many friends have been there to show their love for me over the past week. People I have gone to visit, end up giving ME a boost. So many people have dropped off wonderful tokens of love for me and my family. I love you all. What a wonderful place I live in!

3. A healthy body. I have walked so many miles over the past week. I'm so thankful that my body is good to me. Even when it's achy and painy. :) I'm thankful to be a woman and to have the body that I do. I'm so thankful for the part that I play in bring children into this world.

4. The Defining Line Salon. :) It is amazing what a little pampering can do for a person. :) Even if their magic essential oils don't put me into the throws of labor, it sure feels nice to get a neck massage and have some really wonderful, comfortable gals to chat with. :)

5. Garbage men. Seriously glad that we don't have to haul our own garbage to the dump. :)

6. Pine-sol. That smell will forever mean clean to me. The smell that is permeating my house right now. I love the feel of a clean floor.

7. Seasons. I love when the seasons change. I love the things that are good about each one of them. For the most part, I have really enjoyed the rest that comes with Winter this year. It has been welcome and needed. Looking forward to the Life that comes with Spring.

8. Books. I love the oblivion that can come from books. :) As long as it is moderated. :)

9. Sleep. I slept last night. Thank the Lord. Seriously.

10. Work. I am so thankful for work. For parents that taught me how to work. I don't always love it, but I am thankful for it.

11. Faith. I'm so thankful for the peace that can come (even if it is only in spurts :) from the knowledge that the Lord is in control and he truly does what is best for me and my family. Sometimes (a lot) I feel angry at this reality. I like being in control -- or at least having some kind of bargaining power, you know? I feel resentful when I can't bend circumstances around my desires. (Can you believe that I even complain about my sweet Lilie's shenanigans?? I never really wonder where she gets it from.) However, regardless of the grown up "fit throwing" that I've been doing the past few days, I'm thankful for the faith that I have in my Father in Heaven's love for me. And his eternal patience. (Gives me more than a little something to think about in my own parenting techniques.)

Friday's Fabulous Five

So my friend Clancy has decided to make Fridays her day to write five things that are fabulous and fantastic in her life right now. I think this is a FABULOUS idea and I'm going to follow suit.

1. My children's sense of humor. (Lilie is currently sitting on the floor laughing. Saying, "Hug - ging - g" over and over again. What a fun - nee gi - rl!)

2. My sweet husband who works for us all day and then has come home and cleaned up the kitchen for me the last few nights.

3. Two working vehicles.

4. Neighbor kids for my children to play with.

5. My mom and her perspective on life. Her willingness to share her experiences with me.

5.1 (hee hee!) A loving Heavenly Father who is well aware of my daily minor and not so minor problems and blesses me accordingly --- as long as I ASK.

For the past few days I have been feeling like C-R-A-P. However, moms rarely get the luxury of being sick. I haven't been feeling particularly grateful. 

The other day Lilie took an incredibly late nap and decided that she was going to stay up incredibly late. So I decided to put on a movie that would be mildly entertaining for her, but still boring enough that she might think about falling asleep. I decided upon "Pollyanna". --- It is interesting the perspective that adulthood can give you on a movie like this. The wisdom and thoughts contained in this movie has been hovering around me the last couple of days. She plays her "Glad Game" throughout the movie. Finding things to be glad about. A lot of people look at optimistic people and call them naive or sheltered or unrealistic. You know, happiness, for the most part, is a choice. It's not naivete, it's not refusing to acknowledge the bad in the world, it's about choosing the lens through which you will see the world. 

She shares the quote from Abraham Lincoln that says, "If you look for the bad in mankind, you shall surely find it." Isn't that just as true of husbands, children, friends, total strangers, and our everyday life situations? The great thing is that the reverse is true as well. How soothing, joyful, and healing gratitude and service can be! 

Thank you, Clancy, for you thoughts today. I really appreciated the reminder! (And thank you, Sara, for your sweet attitude that has reiterated the thoughts roaming around in my mind the last few days! You make me cry. Get well soon!!) I have also been reading a blog the last few days about a couple from Arizona that is having a hard time right now --- their fight and their family. I have felt incredibly grateful for the blessings the Lord has given us -- and know that regardless of circumstances, there is always something to be glad about.

Lilie's Fab Five

As I came downstairs to check my email and blogs, Lilie was having a hard time trying to wake up from another attempt at an early-evening-stay-up-all-night-long nap. I asked her if she wanted to think of five things that make her happy as well. Of course, she did . . . 

1. My tongue.

2. Umm . . . I like . . . my hand . . . my left hand.

3. My blue Beedee (blankie).

4. Lovin' you. (ME! Her mommy!!! I love this girl!!)

5. Hugging. Because I like it.

. . . and left feeling much better.

I love this girl. What a wonderful example my children are to me!

(This is how you smile all the way down to your toes! :)