We've Made IT!!!!

Lilie makes this face all the time and then asks, "Is this cute, Mom?"
I've tried to break the hard facts to her, but she seems to imagine it's cute anyway. :)

I can't believe it. The school year is over!

I'm super excited (and a little bit nervous) about having all four babies home with me each day. All summer. :) I think I'm crazy.

I know it's going to take a bit of trial and error time on my part to get us into a good, healthy, productive routine each day again, but I'm excited for the challenge.

Just not really today.

I've got some transcription work to finish up this morning and I was robbed several hours of sleep last night due to Violet's molars trying to "break on through to the other side." She is such a pleasant little bug, that it's difficult to diagnose what's wrong with her. It took me a couple days to figure out why she wouldn't go to sleep for me when she's so happy-go-lucky all day long. Poor baby. She's tired too.

Hazel and Lilie have both done such a wonderful job this year in school.

Hazel has really enjoyed being at Taylor's Crossing. Her teacher was fabulous and the school itself has exceeded my expectations. She was really challenged to do her very best and she did very well. She is an excellent reader -- very thorough and perceptive -- and she does very well at all of her English (grammar and such). She comes home spouting facts that she learned at school all the time - and remembers them later! She's so smart. Her only struggle has been learning to focus better on specifically what she should be doing - rather than trying to pay attention to everything all at the same time - but she'll get it down. It's something that we work on at home constantly. She's growing up so much. Every once in a while :), I get a glimpse of a more responsible, helpful, and grown up Hazel. :) She's learning and changing so quickly and just thrives on any kind of verbal praise. She's so affectionate and complimentary. She is such a kind little girl. She so wants to be good and do what's right so badly. I love her. Today, as soon as she got home, she was so excited for pull out all the things that her teacher had given her to work on this summer. Things like "2nd Grade Addition" (!) and her summer reading chart. She started working on them immediately. What a fun girl! She loves learning.

Lilie has really enjoyed Kindergarten - for the most part. As I've mentioned previously, she has been getting bored the past few months. She is REALLY ready for some new challenges. I asked her the other day if she felt like she had learned anything new in Kindergarten and she was quick to tell me, No. She already knew all her numbers and letters. I know that she picked up a few new things - like counting money and such - but nothing that took her more than five seconds to have down pat. :) But she said that her favorite thing she got to do was make crafts -- but she hated that there was never enough time to finish what she was doing. She said that she could hardly ever color the whole picture. Because Lilie doesn't just color the subject of the picture, she colors the sky and the grass and makes flowers and rainbows and extra dinosaurs and writes stories and gives all the characters names. :) Very frustrating to be interrupted when she's hard at work. :) I knew that much of Kindergarten would be review for Lilie, but I'm pleased to see how she's fit into the social dynamic of a classroom and how well she does with the other kids. I can't believe how much she's grown up this year.

Last night I took all four girls to the mall with me to get a few things. About the time that I was ready to walk out of the dressing room, leave all four of them there forever, and never look back - Hazel really stepped up to the plate, trying to set a good example and help with two particularly tired and crazy yay-hoo's. She was such a good friend to me and I really appreciated her. Then as we were leaving the mall, Lilie asked me if I had my phone. I told her, of course I did. When I got in the van, I thought I'd better check though - just in case. Turns out I didn't and felt a little panicked. When I asked her if she could remember where I'd put it, she immediately responded that I'd left it in the second to last dressing room - in the corner. Ran back in and it was exactly where she'd said it was. Thank heavens for sweet children that know when to listen to the promptings of the Spirit and help out their overwhelmed mother.

Elsie, is DEFINITELY ready for summer. She's become a good little friend for Violet at times, but she is so excited for her sisters to be home with her. She plays so well on her own or really enjoys being my buddy throughout the morning, but I know she gets lonely for them too. I'm not a huge fan of preschool, but it might be something that I'll consider at some point with my Elsie. She's still got two more years of being home with mommy (because she is so old in her class) and with the age gap between her and Violet, it might be a good idea. We shall see.

Nels is "looking forward" to a cool weekend filled with fixing the lawnmower, home repair, yard work, and "honey-do's." :) His dad has been here for the past few days working on some Mind for Media stuff. Mel left this morning on his Goldwing to brave the elements, test out his new knees, and hopefully make it up to visit Nels's oldest sister in Washington this evening. Nels doesn't have to work Monday (I can't believe it!) for Memorial Day and we're both looking forward to a nice, long, rainy weekend. :)

As for me, other than being tired today, I'm happy as can be. I'm feeling very content with our lives right now. Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones talking :), but I feel really satisfied with our lives right now. I feel like we're on the right path and I love my life. I've had a much easier time correcting and being more lovingly patient with my little ladies lately. There are always moments where I feel like . . . my head might explode into a million pieces :), but I've found some semblance of order within myself as I've been slowly uncovering it in my home too. :)

Life is such a journey. There are definitely some bumpy patches. Definitely some things that we work on constantly --- whether focusing, obeying, boredom, pain, self-control, or learning to be satisfied with life as it is today. But there is so much joy and beauty to be had as well. The older I get, the deeper
understanding I gain of this quote, quoted by President Gordon B. Hinckley:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride. 

{Talk by Pres. Hinckley found here. It was given to the "single adults" in the Church, but as I read through it, there was so much that touched my heart and my mind. I love that man. I know that he was and is a prophet of God.}

Through all the ups and downs, ins and outs, life is so very beautiful. So much to learn, so many ways to grow. In our house right now, there's lots of growing and stretching. I love it.

Making Histories

I just have to share how amazed I am.

In the LDS church, we care a lot about family history. We believe that the prophecies made in Malachi are being fulfilled -- that the prophet Elijah has come and restored the sealing keys. - Or the authority to bind in heaven that which is bound on Earth. - Like eternal marriage, with spouses and children all belonging with one another forever. Malachi says that when Elijah comes he will turn "the heart of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers". As Latter-day Saints, we often call this the "Spirit of Elijah".

It sounds very vague, but as I've delved into family history work at times of my life, I have FELT this Spirit come to me. To a point that the work of finding these ancestors can be quite "addicting" (for lack of a better word :). Where I think about these people, I yearn after them, and I can almost feel who they are. And I KNOW they want to be found.

Six years ago, I took a Family History class at BYU-Idaho. It was a wonderful class where I had an opportunity to learn the different programs that the Church has. It was awesome. I put together an extensive "tree" of my ancestors. Most all of my family lines can be traced back to the early days of the Church -- and therefore, much of the work in finding people for many generations back has already been done. (Don't get me wrong, I'm WELL AWARE that there is still LOTS more to do, Mom. :)

As a result, I started looking into some of Nels's history. There's been a lot of work done on some of his lines, but the "Chick" side of his family has been harder to track down much past the family that originally joined the Church in England and then immigrated to Utah. After I finished my class at BYU-I, I started doing some research on that line in earnest. I found bits and pieces -- exciting things -- but as life got busy, I didn't have time to "finish" and shut it away. -- Where I've been sitting on it for five years.

~~~~~~

As I've been pregnant with this baby, I have felt a lot of anxiety about what this little lady's name is to be. It's been strange, because I can't even remember hardly thinking about that at all until my last trimester with my other girls -- and even then, we still didn't really "settle" on anything until the baby was actually born. BUT this baby? She wants to have a name. There has been some sort of importance tied up with her name. I've even gone so far as to mostly settle on a name, only to lose sleep over it. Waking up in the wee hours of the morning for a week, feeling anxiety about it!

Just so you know, she does NOT want to be named Pearl. :)

However, one name has played in the back of both Nels' and my mind since before Violet was born. When I decided that her name was NOT to be Pearl, that's the only name that I could think of -- and I haven't lost another wink of sleep over it since. :)

I've also been trying to decide on a middle name - knowing that I wanted to find a family name, preferably from the "Chick side". The name that has come to me over and over again is Lettice --- Nels's g-g-g-g-grandmother that I found in all of my searching five years ago. I have thought of her often over that time.

Today, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I pulled out my binder and started recording all that information that I'd gathered years ago. - So that even if I don't have the time to do all the leg work right now, at least the information will be there for someone else to work on it.

I genuinely believe that part of the reason that I've been feeling so much stress over the name of this baby is so that I will get this work done. I know it sounds weird, but I believe that those that have passed on want to be found and that they can find "creative" ways of helping us do just that. :)

I also found something else that is very cool. The name for this baby. --- The one that feels good and doesn't keep me up at night. --- I found today that it is also the name of Nels's great grandmother. How awesome.

Bread and Knives

hot bread + butter + honey = heaven

Mmm. mmm. mmm. m.mmm. Yum. yum. My family has been waiting for months for me to make bread.

Vi likes the feel of wheat . . . and the taste . . . can't wait to see what comes out . . .

I've been lazy. And busy. But mostly lazy.

Today was a good day for baking bread and we had a great time doing it. And a REALLY loud time. I had the grinder, the Bosch, the dishwasher, and the radio on all at the same time. It was great fun. Nothing like rocking out to Nels's 80's station on Pandora while making bread! :) (if you like 80's music, you should check it out. it's awesome!) Especially if you get to make him smile while he's at work by texting him Journey lyrics at the same time. :) "Someday. love will find you! Break these. chains that bind you!" He then pretends that he doesn't know who sings that song and ceases to reply back to my teasing. LOL! :) ((if you don't know Nels very well, he's not a fan of Journey))

And in honor of him hating this band, I'm going to share with you the song I was texting to him. It will make you march around your kitchen and sing with it. I promise! It will also make the rest of this post awesome for reading.

Okay. And I'm back.

Nothing makes me feel like some sort of domestic goddess more than a clean house and the smells of freshly ground wheat and hot homemade bread.

The smells part, I've got down pat . . .

. . . the clean part is sadly found wanting this morning . . .

. . . but two out of three isn't bad, right?

ha!

Ever since we first redid (redone? redoed? "redid" sounds and looks weird) our front yard and put in a new flower bed, I've known that "somewhere" along the front of my house, water was getting in and running down to the basement. Every time I'd water too heavily right next to the house, the carpet would get a little wet. My dad suggested that it was probably just an old covered up window that had a loose seal and we needed to tar around it.

Fairly simple fix, but I was lazy and chose not to. Instead, I'd just make sure that I didn't water too deeply in that area, and if by chance, I did, then I'd move the couch, soak up the water, and let it dry. No big deal.

However, this spring as I've been watering, even as I've repeatedly avoided watering next to that window, I was still ending up with wet carpet.

ARG!!!

So Nels had the lovely job last night of pulling the panelling off the wall in that section of our basement. Looking for the culprit. -- Because obviously it wasn't the window.

We did find it. A long, but really small crack in the cement. Nice.

Not too difficult a fix . . .

but we had to dig up several of my plants . . .

so he could dig a three foot hole in my flower bed . . .

to seal the crack.

While digging, we found something really amazing!

Baby Rambo!

LOL! She found one of the neighbor boys' toy knives left in our yard and started digging with it in the pots -- then eating the dirt from the knife.

Who needs boys when you make the coolest girls in the world???

What followed were so many awesome pictures that I couldn't just choose one to share.

Isn't she cute and scary?!

I also found that when I have no makeup on and make really weird faces,

I look like my brother.

Now. Please excuse me while I go text Nels telling him to come check out the awesome song on my post.

From the Back-Burner: Motherhood

I've spent some time this morning watching a 20/20 segment about Stephanie Nielson. I've talked about her before on my blog and have been following her story for the past 2 1/2 years or so.

Maybe because her story is so triumphant and tragic all at the same time, maybe because I love her sense of retro style and bright colors, maybe because she and I are so close in age - her children close to my own children's ages ---- I can sympathize with her.

Maybe it's just because her sister, Courtney, lives in the house that MY sister once lived in and I can remember sleeping a night in one of the rooms where her children now sleep and I can remember eating lunch in her notorious "green room". :)

*wink*

Regardless of the reason for my fascination, her story always moves me to tears and I am always impressed with her faith in a loving Father and with her love of family - of the everyday.

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The way my brain works, I seem to have random thoughts - many of which I don't have answers for - thoughts that are recurring. I don't have a category for them. I don't have a conclusion. So instead, my brain seems to file them to the "back-burner" where they stay for days, weeks, months, years . . .  Just sitting there, in the back, gathering information as I go about my merry way. Eventually, I find the right file. I find a way to have a more solid answer. I find a way to express them. And then they're not there "cooking" anymore . . . . at least for the time being. :)

My brain has been "cooking up" some thoughts on motherhood recently and watching Stephanie's interview this morning, finally brought things to a place where I felt like sharing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mother's Day was last Sunday. For the second year in a row, Nels was dead sick. He was up most of the night puking - or feeling like he was dying on the bathroom floor. At 7:00 in the morning, Hazel brought me breakfast in bed. :) What a sweet girl. She made toast and poured Kool-Aid all by herself. :) What a darling daughter I have.

After thanking her, I went straight back to sleep.

I got up, dressed, made breakfast, got everybody ready. Nels was definitely not going to make it to church. He felt bad and said he was feeling "quite a bit better", but I knew that if he went to church, he'd be useless the whole rest of the day anyway, so I told him to just stay home with Violet.

Regardless of what I said I learned last year, I still went through much of the day on the verge of tears, mad at such a stupid holiday. Mad that I was at home cooking and cleaning instead of being able to drown my disappointment at a party for my own sweet mother - being held at my sister's home in Utah. I was mad at Nels for letting himself get sick. I was really mad that I couldn't just run away from my stupid feelings by taking my children up in the mountains for some fun (like I've done the past two Mother's Days), because it was rainy and cold and windy.

And I was most angry with myself for even feeling the way I was feeling.

I finally called my mom to tell her I loved her and to cry to her about what an idiot I was being. She did indeed confirm my idiocy and counseled me to stop whining and spend the rest of the day having fun with my kids - regardless of the weather.

By the time dinner was made, Nels was up and enjoyed it with us. He then proceeded to make ginger snaps for all of us, while I read "Aliens for Breakfast" to Hazel and Lilie.

It was good. I, once again, learned a few undesirable things about myself and I, once again, had some more things to simmer on my back-burner. :)

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I love being a mother. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that being a wife and mother is my crowning glory in this life and the next. There is nothing so important as this role for me. 

I watched a documentary recently where one of the "experts" they were interviewing basically defined parenthood as a whole bunch of horrible, mixed with a few good moments. Leaving the parent with perhaps a day to day view of life as being generally difficult, discontent, and unrewarding, but an overall view of life with satisfaction because you have purpose.  - Generally, day to day life sucks. It's just when you step back, that you feel satisfied. - And for those people who have no children - generally their day to day lives feel very gratifying or satisfying, but when they looked at the overall picture of their lives, only then did they feel any discontentment.

*eye-rolling*

This "expert" on people and family life is not a father. How appropriate. I can see why he *thinks* what he's saying is true, but I want everyone who does or will ever read this post to know that what he thinks he knows is absolutely not true. Not true for me anyway.

I do not have a family and stay home each day cleaning and cooking and washing and caring - just so that I will have some vague sense of accomplishment only when I look at the "big picture" of my life. I find joy and satisfaction in each and every single moment of my life.

There are the days, like last Sunday, where it either actually is or just feels hard. But even then, I am still very happy with my life. There are moments I feel like a failure. There are moments where I feel like I'm drowning in the work and the difficulty of being a mother. But even in those moments, I know that what I am doing is right. That what I am doing is worthwhile. That I wouldn't give it up for all the riches, all the "accomplishments", all the praises or titles or degrees -- in all the world.

And it's not just because when I look back on my life, I'll be able to feel good. It's because I am doing exactly what I was made to do. To teach these sweet little people, to love them regardless of difficulty, to learn for myself how to harness my own selfishness and forgive my own failures. 

I learn to make a home. A place of safety. A place where the Spirit of the Lord can dwell. A place of beauty and learning. A place where it's okay to fail and it's safe to try again. A place where my children can see the gospel of Jesus Christ in action. A place where they can learn truth. And kindness. And Charity. Where they can learn that the "Plan of Happiness" that the Lord has in place for us - is really the Plan of Families.

It is here, in this home, in this family, that I am refined into the person I most want to be. I learn discipline unlike anything I've ever learned before. I learn that true joy and happiness come from following the commandments of God. I learn how to teach and how to learn. I learn freedom. I learn love. I learn how to serve. I learn that imperfection is okay. How to strive for something better, but being happy with the efforts that I make daily. I learn that real change takes TIME. A LONG time. :) And that's okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not a perfect mother. 

But I know that I am the perfect mother for my children. That, for whatever reason, these children were sent to me. For me to teach them a thing or two and for them to teach ME even more. 

There is nothing I would rather have than my sweet family.

There is nothing I'd rather do more than be their mother.

And his wife.

Dead Tired

Sometimes I shouldn't sit down, because then I die.

Today has been a busy day. --- I just attempted to list my accomplishments, to make myself feel more impressed with my tiredness, but then I realized that my list somehow didn't consist of much more than a few things. It didn't sound very impressive. Dang.

Regardless, I've worked hard today and I'm ready for a break and some fun. Hallelujah! The remainder of this week is supposed to be gorgeous. Thank you! And we have some grand plans to accomplish a goal that I've had for the past ELEVEN years that I've lived in Eastern Idaho. Super excited.

I spent some of today outside caring for the lawn and planting and transplanting some . . . plants. :) I like working outside. Nothing like being pregnant to help you remember how useful stomach muscles are when digging a hole and moving shovels-full of dirt. :)

I also took the girls for a bike ride over to Arctic Circle for an ice cream cone tonight. Every time I take a ride with the bike trailer -- then Lilie -- then Hazel all lined up behind me, the bike scene from The Sound of Music always starts running through my mind and I half hum / half sing-under-my-breath the music the entire ride. Cracks me up every time.

Arctic (does is bother you when people spell Arctic - Artic? It bothers me.) Circle is only a little more than a mile from our house, but I was huffing and puffing by the time we got there. While there, I realized that one of my brakes was too tight, keeping my back tire from spinning freely. I fixed it. The ride back was a LOT easier. :) I am really loving my birthday presents.

What's (one of) your favorite birthday presents that you've received as an adult? I think my bike and bike trailer are definitely ranking up there at the top.

Good. Stuff.

I just have to share one of my favorite commercials I've EVER seen. I generally hate almost all advertisements, but this one just cracks me up!

Snuffaluffagus

Few things in the world so tempting to me right now as quietly sneaking into Violet's room to snuggle up next to her on her bed and nap along side her.

*sigh*

Oh, that sounds like heaven.

I'm sure there are several of you thinking, "Well, why the heck don't you, Rachel??? You're five months pregnant, you deserve it." And here is the answer to that --- if I take real mid-afternoon nap, I'll never want to wake back up. -- And NOBODY here deserves that.

Naps are NOT my forte. When I fall asleep, my body says, "It's sleeping time! Hooray!!! SHUT. DOWN." and it doesn't want to rise until either no one needs anything from me or the sun comes up again the next morning. Whichever comes first. It's probably because I don't give myself enough regular sleep at nighttime. Sad.

Sweet baby Vi needed a nap and instead of laying her down and leaving the room, like I usually do, I laid down next her to talk about eyes and ears and hairs, playing "Pat-A-Cake", and singing Baby Mine until her perfect little eyelids could stay open no longer . . . and neither could mine.

Until.

Until Elsie came in to inform me that she'd knocked over my plant and got dirt all over the floor . . . and then she and Lilie needed lunch . . .

I was glad that she woke me up (kind of). Had she not, I would have been a bear when I did have to get up, but oh my, it's heavenly to snooze next to a warm little toddler with pretty pink lips and soft little cheekies!

We've recently moved Violet into a big bed. I had decided that it was time for some rearranging, leaving an open bottom bunk bed available in her room. I thought, we'll just see if she'll stay in it for nap time. Lo and behold, she aced naps and moved straight to night time as well. She's not had any problem with it at all and LOVES sleeping in a big girl bed.

She is just such an angel baby. So easy in so many ways. Busy, but really such a happy baby. And she loves being "baby" too. :) She is more snuggly than my other girls have been (at least with me - all the girls have been more snuggly with Nels). She talks well, though not quite as well as my other girls did at this age. She's got a fabulous sense of humor and loves to laugh. Whenever anyone else is crying, she pretends to cry too and needs hugged as well. It's funny to me.

She like kitties and keeps an interested distance from doggies. We visited a friend who had a new lab puppy at their house about a month ago. The puppy thought that my rolly little Violet looked about like a ball and decided to play with her a bit. :) She was not amused and has kept a wary distance of them since. :) But she loves animals and was fascinated when we took a trip to the zoo this last week.

She loves her daddy. She asks for him often throughout the day and gets VERY excited when he comes home -- immediately demanding his attention to hug and hold her for several minutes as soon as he walks in the door at night.

When she accomplishes something that she's particularly proud of she loudly proclaims, "TA-DA!" She says E-sie and A-zie and calls Lilie a variety of things. L's are so hard for babies. :) We'll just have to wait and see what she settles on -- hopefully not Doodoo like Elsie did. :) Among many other things, she also says dow (down), uh-oh, ah-dah (all done), ou-side (outside), and calls many things da-da (if you're her mother, you can tell which da-da she's referring to :). She calls me mommy and Nels daddy and tries to say just about everything.

One of the coolest things that Violet can do is blow her nose. :) An incredibly helpful skill as she's had a cold for the past week. :) Whenever you ask her where her nose is, she scrunches up her face and snuffy-snuffs through her nose. SO cute. unless she's got a nose full of boogers, then . . . a little less cute. :)

Oh, I love this baby of mine! She makes me excited that there's another one coming to our family.

A Perfectly Busy Weekend

I had a beautiful birthday. The kind that will probably never be duplicated. Every birthday for the rest of my life, I will remember that I share that day with my baby sister. I will remember her face as she looked across the alter at her sweetheart and covenanted to be his forever. I will remember being in the temple with my parents and all of my siblings.

What a beautiful, perfect day.

It will go in the books as one of the best days of my life.

Genny looked incredible. Ben looked incredible beside her. They are happy. (unfortunately "a man" who ran around with a camera the whole day, failed to get any actual "pictures" of said happy couple, only video, so this picture is "stolen")

This picture is one of the the only ones that I have of the "wedding day" and that is because I took it. My lovely baby and my incredibly hot husband.

All the little nieces (all TWELVE of them) we dressed in beautiful matching white dresses with purple sashes. It looks like Violet was trying to get away from my handsome husband, but really, she just like looking at the world upside down --- and is adorable --- and incredibly wiggly --- and incredibly heavy to wrestle with for an entire day. :) Nels complained the next day about his arms being sore from carrying around his camera all day . . . let's just say that I was able to sympathize. :)

Genny got married on my birthday. Two days later was Easter. I love when my birthday is close to Easter.

We stayed in Utah for the couple of extra days so that we could spend the day with my family - minus the newly-wed Mr. and Mrs. Worthington.

Once again, I wish we'd gotten pictures of us all decked out in our new Easter attire, but alas, twas not meant to be . . . maybe this coming Sunday. - But we looked great. :)

After church we all headed to my parents' house for an Easter barbeque (??? - weird? Yes. But simple.) and the annual Easter Egg Hunt that my dad likes to do for the grandkids. I tell ya, my dad puts on an excellent egg hunt. Add Jake, Ben, and Chris to the hiding mix and there are many eggs that will never be found. They're good. :)

There's always lots of this . . .

A little of this . . .

Waaaa! *tears*tears* I can't find any eggs, Mom!! - Oh, there one is. :)

The excitement of climbing all Grandma's trees to get the "coolest" ones . . .

 . . . while "less ambitious" children get twice as many eggs by just finding the ones on the ground.

And lots and lots of smiley kids running all over.

I must say, my siblings make some of the most beautiful children I've ever seen.

A wonderful, beautiful Easter weekend.

Sunshine, Bikes, and Vampires

It's been weeks . . . have you missed me? I've missed you.

When I don't post anything on my blog for long periods of time, I feel . . . almost like there's a hole in my life. Like there's something missing. I've analyzed this -- because that's what I do -- and I think I've come up with an explanation.

Lest you think that it's out of vanity or addiction.

I've realized that when I don't blog, I feel like that portion of me and my life starts to evaporate - or cease to exist - anywhere beyond my own memory. - Which, frankly, is questionable at BEST lately. - My thoughts, my feelings, our goings and comings, they cease to be anything but memories.

Gone.

And that makes me sad. When I don't record it, I have nothing to look back on. Nothing to remember of this time in our lives. I love so much and learn so much from what we experience everyday, that I just can't stand for it to be nothing but a vague blip on the map that is my life.

So I write and record and feel anxious when I don't. Not for you, but for me and for my family. 

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Today. Was. Gorgeous.

It was Spring. Really Spring. And my sun-kissed face agrees.

Yesterday I got my "birthday presents" in the mail. A new bike (finally!!) and a new bike trailer.

*sigh* 

I'm so happy about that. I love riding bikes. And I love taking my kids with me . . . wouldn't be nearly as fun without them.

Yesterday evening I spent almost all of it putting together both the bike and the trailer. It wasn't nearly as much fun as I had anticipated . . . because it took so long and we had a few "hiccups" . . . but I tell you what, I think my neighbors were impressed. :) Five months pregnant woman out on her driveway with a toolbox and a bazillion kids milling around, assembling a bicycle. I'm nuts . . . 

. . . but it was well worth the effort (and the swollen feet and the sciatic nerve pain) as I rode with Lilie to school this morning in the crisp Spring air -- Elsie and Violet in tow - literally.

It was such a grueling day.

Rode with Lilie to school.

Rode home.

Cleaned up bedrooms.

Bathed Elsie and Vi.

Watered yard.

Rode to pick up Lilie from school.

Took detour.

Leftovers for lunch.

Vi down for a nap.

Make brownies with Lilie and Elsie.

Play "Dead Man, Dead Man, Come Alive" on the trampoline with Lilie and Elsie. (consisting of me soaking up some vitamin D while laying on the trampoline, grabbing the girls legs and tripping them while they bounced the begeezees out of me, and laughing like crazy while I then used them as pillows and tickled them :)

Eat hot brownies at the park with friends.

Come home and play on the grass with the girls, waiting for Hazel to get home from school.

Ride our bikes to our neighborhood playground. Swing and let all four girls get filthy while playing in the sand.

Pick up tortillas and ice cream and then head over to a friends' house for carne asada and guacamole.

Yes. A grueling day.

The likes of which I rarely allow to happen in my need to "accomplish" something.

But today, I'm really pleased with my accomplishments. I laughed with my kids, spent most of the day outside playing, and showed them that I really love them.

The other kind of days are important too, but today was really wonderful. And I need to remember it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a separate note - and as a parting treat for you this fabulous . . . Friday morning :)  - 

I will now share THIS with you:

 LOL!!! We traded in Lilie's front teeth . . . for a vampire.

:)

Ah. I love that girl. She is so funny.

Both her front teeth have been loose for a few weeks now. However, I've had to restrain myself from even "checking" them because, if it could be helped, I really still wanted her to have them for Genny's wedding. (Me? Vain? Why, yes. Yes, I am.)

A few days after we got back, I was walking into a store with Lilie. I smiled at her, she smiled back and

 WHOA! Lilie? Did you brush your teeth today????

Yes.

Echk! Let me see your mouth.

Her teeth were disgusting! - but she promised she'd been brushing. When she got home, she was told to immediately go brush her teeth and then come show me. Needless to say, it didn't help much . . . and by that time, one of her teeth was practically dangling. - The obvious reason for her horrifying hygiene results.

She put up no fight about pulling it out, but once in there, I realized that the other front tooth was only slightly more attached than the one to be pulled. 

She said NO.

I said I wouldn't --- I just wanted to feel it --- and then I did.

I'm a liar. And compulsive.

But now she can again thoroughly brush her teeth . . . 

. . . and she has been making crazy faces for a week now.

She loves being toothless.

And she is an absolute ham.