Daddy

I've probably heard it a hundred times - and I'm sure he's heard it even more.

"You have how many girls? Oh! Your poor husband!"

"I wouldn't know what to do with all those girls . . ."

"Please tell me that you at least have a male dog!"

These conversations always leave me incredulous. Are fathers with daughters given special instructions? or are they less manly? do they feel less involved and less like real fathers than dads of boys? is their life harder or sadder? Poor men . . .

As I was scrubbing plates and counters and folding towels the other day I was thinking about my handsome partner in parenting. I was thinking about my own daddy who raised four daughters (and two sons). I was thinking about Nels teaching his girls how use a spoon or tie their shoes or figuring out, together, how to fashion a ponytail. And I thought of my dad teaching me how to drive a manual car or (attempting) to teach me how to not backtalk. I thought of him teaching me how to serve.

And I realized:  A father doesn't do what he knows. A father does what is needed.

Fatherhood doesn't come with an instruction manual. How to Train Your Daughter - it doesn't exist.

A father to five girls does it in the same way as a father of five boys. A fathers sees a need and does his best. A father acts.

A man isn't born knowing how to provide, preside, and protect a family. A man - a father - is made while doing so.

A father has the courage to do what he doesn't know how to do.

I am so thankful.

I'm thankful for my dad. I have watched his example my entire life.  He seems to be a wealth of strength and knowledge. I have looked up to him my whole life and even at 32 years old, he continues to teach me and challenge me - always encouraging me to do things that I don't think I can do. He walks me through it, but let's me do it. He loves to see me succeed.

I am eternally thankful for Nels. I am continually amazed at his wisdom, his thoughtfulness, his creativity. I love his open mind and open heart. He teaches me how to love more fully, more freely. He has been at my side for more than 12 years now and there is not one day in all those years that I have tired of his company or wondered whether or not I made the right choice. He is the best choice I ever made. I think our daughters are the luckiest girls in entire world to have him as their protector and teacher.

And in all honesty, I don't feel bad for him one little bit - even though he doesn't have a male dog . . .

He's got it pretty damn good.

Summer Perfection: Part 1

From the get-go, we've always said that Sandpoint was a temporary move. A rest stop on the way to . . . wherever . . . we're going . . . eventually. :)

"Somewhere we'll stay for, I don't know, probably three to five years."

But you know what? I don't know how we'll EVER leave.

Not with weeks like this.

Today as I sat on the beach talking to friends and watching my kids play in the water, sand, and sunshine

I made a decision.

Honey, if things don't work out at Coldwater, we're livin' in a tent! (it can be done! we know a man who does.)

Seriously. How is it that you are not ALL living here with us?!

Clara, at almost 2, is still the sweetest little feisty angel. She holds her own with four older sisters and rolls with the crazy when we stay at the beach for five hours and miss naptime.

Monday she just snuggled right up on my lap mid-afternoon and fell right into dreamland. Holding my sleeping baby is like dreamland for me . . .

Tuesday we skipped the beach and I cleaned my bedroom. A miracle that resulted in the discovery of my keys (missing 10 days) and my glasses (missing 3 months).

Wednesday Nels skipped work and we took the girls to Silverwood. A blast that resulted in the realization that Hazel and Violet don't really love rollercoasters and adrenaline makes me talk a lot.

Dinner at Olive Garden with my beautiful girls, a (yet again) angelically nap-less bebe, 

and their handsome dad.

Today was just summer at it's finest.

Poor Lilie inherited her daddy's pink skin.

diving Elsie

While my angel baby AGAIN slept at the beach, for the first time since we moved here, I went swimming. It was SO FUN!!! Lilie, Hazel, and I swam out to the logs separating the beach and the boats with our friends the McClellands and played King of the Log. It was awesome. I love good friends!

After four hours in the sun, we returned home to pick thimbleberries across the road and golden raspberries in the backyard.

thimbleberries: fuzzy, delicious cousins of domestic raspberries

my "I'm ecstatic that I've not had to water this green grass once this summer" face

my "I'm in heaven" face

Again, I need to ask: how is it that you are all not living here WITH US?!

A Short List

I'm ALIVE!!!!!

and actually thriving --- even if my blog isn't. :)

A few things in list form:

• We spent the entire month of June driving 3000+ miles all over Idaho and Utah. It was a wonderful time. I will post some pics . . . next week.
• Summer is here in Sandpoint and we are loving the beach. Glorious summers in Sandpoint!
• We may be moving (in town) again. The owner of our home *may* be in the process of selling. That thought makes me kinda want to cry . . . but I'm not going to. I will be excited for whatever comes our way.
• While in Utah, I was able to attend the temple. First time I've attended without some kind of serious time constraints in a LONG LONG time. It was marvelous and I can say without hesitation that the Lord hears and answers our prayers. I feel better than I have in quite some time.
• Took the girls to their first ever play last weekend, "The Wizard of Oz". They thought is was magical and it made my heart explode to see them so happy. 
• I'm going to sell my fish. Having too much of a good time keeping everyone else alive . . . something's gotta give.
• Instead I've developed a new-found love of non-fiction . . . Who knew?! Non fiction can be both thought provoking AND hilarious! I'm growing up!
• Two reasons why I love my husband: A) he talks in his sleep and B) he has the most perfect back-scratching-fingernails in the whole world.

That is all.

GoPro Adventures

Nels is awesome.

From our Mother's Day adventure at Kootenai Falls.

On the Mend

That last post cracks me up!

I was so frustrated and SO mad. It was one of those weird days.

Then I spent Friday and Saturday sick in bed. It was sad. See?

very pathetic and pitiful.

But I did get to listen to almost the entire book of "Unbroken" and Nels was an amazing Mr. Mom on Saturday. That wonderful man washed and folded ALL the laundry! I should get sick more often.

In other news, some good things:

• We hung up Nels's hammock last night in the backyard. Hello, old friend! We haven't enjoyed one another's company for nearly two years. You were missed. Welcome to paradise!
• I love riding lawn mowers. - Unless I'm drugged on Benadryl. Then they lull me to sleep. A summer job discovery. Ever since, I lay off the drugs when I'm mowin'.
• I can see the floor in my van. The WHOLE floor. It's a miracle.
• Nels played catch with me yesterday. Makes me SO happy. and sweaty. I played varsity softball when I was a Freshman, then we moved to Bountiful when I was a Sophomore and I never tried out for the team because I was too intimidated. Another true story.
• Lilie has a great eye and is an excellent batter.
• Violet loves kickball! When Daddy played with the girls the other day, she was the only one he could keep interested. I think we're going to have to give it another go.
• Clara hates her snipped-off binkies and tells me off every time I give it to her. She, too, LOVES the riding lawn mower. She has become the tantrum queen. She is also a champion sleeper.
• Elsie needs a break from technology. :) The other day she was playing "Dinosaur Train" and after regaling me with "facts" like, "Mom, did you know that dinosaurs lived in outerspace?!" (I think there may have been a slight misunderstanding there) exclaimed, "I love information!" Trips to the non-fiction section of the library are forthcoming.
• Hazel and the hammock are going to clock a lot of hours in this summer. That girl loves to read. She's burned through almost the entire Percy Jackson series (along with many other books) in the last couple of months. 
• Three more weeks of school! - Then I'm toying with the idea of going AWOL for the entire month of June.

Nelsy Boy

I am so thankful for Nels in my life. He makes every experience deeper and sweeter and he makes me laugh every single day.

I called him midway through the day to see how work was going. This is the basic gist of the conversation:

Me: Hey, Bub! How's the birthday boy?!

Nels: {laughing} Hahaa! Good. 

M: Oh yeah? I'm glad!

N: {still chuckling and clearly distracted} Yeah. I just got back to my desk; somebody left a present for me. (connection starts getting a little garbled) something something about a thousand testes!

M: . . . . .. . . . . .. . . Um. . . . Did you just say what I thought you said?

N: Yes! Now I need to go find out who's responsible for this!

M: Well, you do that!

When Nels got home that evening, the party prep was in full swing and I'd totally forgotten to ask him about his "birthday present". Later that night I got some clarification from a Facebook post.

Nels is creeping right through his 30s and even though it doesn't seem to phase him much, it's kind of freaking me out. -- Not that that I think he has much to worry about. Working in the "fashion industry" has given him a perfect outlet for his youth and vigor! If ever he decides to step out from behind the camera, I think he's got a real nice start to his modeling porfolio...

For his 33rd birthday, the girls really wanted to show the depth of their love for him, so they got him an ice cream maker. They really do know the pathways to their daddy's heart . . . through his arteries!!! Ba-dum-ching! Thanks folks! I'll be here all night!

And what's the best thing about an ice cream maker?

Sharing the goods, of course!

Thank you, Nels, for all that you give - to me, to your girls. We are so lucky to have you! I'm so happy that you are alive and that you are mine!

Our Kids Love Santa Claus?

Before I forget . . .

Around the middle of November, I started asking the girls what they wanted for Christmas. I was determined that there would be no last-minute scrambling this year and I wanted it out of the way so that I could just enjoy the season with my family.

I had come across the coolest dragon and showed it to Lilie, sure that she would LOVE it.

(Since we don't have cable or satellite, my children pretty much never watch commercials. And wouldn't you know it? Without the barrage of advertising, compiling their Christmas lists was a pretty open-ended affair.)


This is the conversation that we had as she gazed happily at the dragon figurine:


What do you think, Lilie? Is that something that you might like for Christmas?

MMmmmmmm . . . {sigh} . . . . . yeah. :)

Great! Maybe you could ask Santa Claus.

{worried and skeptical look} Um. I don't know.

What do you mean? I thought you just said that you liked it. Is there something else that you want more?

{still with the screwy face} No. I really like it! I just don't know if I want to ask Santa.

Why? You don't have to like it, just because I showed it to you . . .

Well. Why don't YOU just get it for me?

What? Why not Santa? Is there something else you want?

No. It's just . . . well . . . I really like it . . . and . . . sometimes Santa doesn't bring me what I want. Like one year I asked for a Wall-E computer and he just brought me a dinosaur instead . . . 

{{me stifling a HUGE laugh}}

. . . So. I just think you should get it for me instead and I'll just ask Santa for something that I don't really care about very much.


Hahahahahahahaaaaa!


In light of our children's supreme confidence in the Man in Red, I also present to you Nels's most recent bestest creation. :)

A Decade

As a teenager, I can remember my sister Melissa, 2 1/2 years older, scolding me about the disorder in which I kept my bedroom.

"Rachel. You are such a slob. No one is ever going to want to marry you." :)

At 15, I'm not going to lie, getting married was not on my radar. Boys? Yes, please. But keeping a clean room to catch man? Nope. :) Melissa was always the romantic. Get married, have babies, decorate your own house. She regularly talked about her future.

Not me.

Especially as a teenager and young adult, I lived very much in the "now". I loved (and still love) living my life with all the passion and joy that I can TODAY.

I met Nels when I was 19 and we started dating a month before my 20th birthday.

We started dating and I gave my whole heart to Nels. He consumed my thoughts and all of my "live in the moment"ness. We were more twitterpated than I've ever seen anyone.

After dating for a month and a half, we were hinting at marriage. :) By the middle of June, we were engaged.

But even then, it was never about getting married or about being a wife or a mom.

It was about being with Nels. About being his.

There was nothing I'd ever wanted more in the whole world. I wanted to be with him.

-------------

Last Friday evening I walked through Kootenai (tiny town located next to Sandpoint - and where Coldwater's head office is located) after dropping off our moving truck. Nels had a couple of things to finish up at work before heading out for our date, and so I told him I'd just walk over and meet him there. The sun was setting so beautifully over the mountains and I was clearly reminded of ten years ago - almost to the minute - saying yes to that handsome man. To becoming HIS forever.

Probably the best decision I've ever made in my whole life.

The four older girls were at Aunt Tracy's house for a couple of days and my mama had come up to help us move, so she stayed with Clara while Nels and I had a night to ourselves.

We got a room up at Schweitzer. We'd been moving all day and so after cleaning up and brushing the sweaters off our teeth, we headed out into the village to get some dinner - only to find that everything had closed at 8:30.

We decided not to starve, and drove the 20 minutes back down the mountain to a local pub named Icardt's for dinner. It was so good and SO fun! They had a jazz band performing that night. It was awesome. I've decided that although I really dislike listening to jazz music on the radio, I REALLY like watching it. We also determined that where we live is really cool and made a long list of all the things we'd like to do in the next year.

The whole evening was wonderful and I loved getting the time alone with my best friend. I'm so incredibly thankful for the beautiful life that we have built together.

I can say without a doubt, there is not one moment in ten years that I've regretted that decision I made. He is my perfect match in every way.

Thank you, Nels. I love you today even more than I did then.

FFF

It's Friday, I'm in Love. 

1. Nels is feeling much better! Last Friday Nels hurt his back while we were working out. He was in SO much pain! Poor old guy. Thankfully, after a week of ibuprofen, laying on the floor under his desk at work, and heel-toeing it everywhere - he seems to really be on the mend. Very thankful that is wasn't worse and for strong bodies.

2. Speaking of working out, even though Nels hasn't been able to work out with me the last week, I've still been fairly consistent and it's so exciting to see progress toward our goals! I haven't lost much more weight in the last couple weeks, I still can't quite figure out how to do an Uchi Mata :), and I've never known before that the backs of my hands sweat!, but I've lost more than an inch (each) around my chest, waist, and hips since we began a month ago. Nice!

3. Nels and I had a chance to go to the Spokane Temple last night. Probably the first time we've been gone - TOGETHER - from all five kids for more than two hours or so. It was perfect and MUCH needed. Very different for a trip to the temple to take not 2 1/2 hours, but SIX! But the drive time alone with Nels was really great. Thank goodness for competent babysitters!

4. It's cooler today - not even 80* yet! It's been in the 90's for the past week and a half or so and I've been dying! I know this may seem to be an unfeeling thing to complain about for those of you who have had far hotter temps this summer (especially combined with FIRES!), but the older I get, the less I like hot weather. I love days in the 70s and 80s and cool summer nights! Thank you, Sandpoint, for a summer that hasn't reach 100* even once yet!

5. I finally sorted through most of the pictures that we've taken this summer and I have some definite plans for updates coming soon . . . . after all, I've got to show you all what you're missing out on by not coming to visit us this summer! :)

6. (for good measure) Nels got a freelance gig doing some video work for a LARGE company in Utah next month, so we will be making TWO trips to my "motherland" in the August. I'm SO, SO, SO excited to see my two, new, little nephews!

February: all in one post

Tick, tock, tick, tock . . .

It's May.

Oh well, I'm going to give you a quick (not) little (not) overview of what February was for us . . . crazy.

As part of his job, four times a year, Nels will be traveling for about a week. Shooting video at the seasonal photo shoots that Coldwater has in various different locations. I'm not gonna lie, when Nels told me that he was heading to Miami, while I stayed in Idaho . . . in February . . . I was a teensy bit jealous. :) Especially when he'd send me pictures like the one above. {{sigh}} :)

Someday, Rachel. Someday.

Because Sandpoint is an hour and a half from the airport and because he had an early flight, Coldwater Creek put Nels up in a hotel in Spokane the night before he left for Florida. The kids LOVE staying in hotels and so we decided that we'd drive Daddy down and then stay the night with him.

I had grand plans for our day. Nels only worked half a day, so we were going to get the girls early from school and then go to the children's museum and explore downtown Spokane a little bit before we headed over to the hotel to swim for hours and hours before bedtime. I was at least as excited as the kids and couldn't wait to get out of our tiny apartment for two days.

Then right before Nels got home I decided to take ten minutes to myself getting ready in the bathroom with the door closed and Violet found the laundry detergent that I'd left within her reach and decided to pump Melaleuca's fabulously concentrated liquid laundry detergent into about thirty different spots up and down the hallway and all over her bedroom. {{sigh}}

So instead of having fun, we spent about four hours that afternoon cleaning carpet.

I was . . . um . . . mad.

Poor Nels. I bet his arms were extra, extra sore for the next few days afterward. But at least during, he kept a smile. :)

So in case you are ever in a similar predicament, with a similarly mischievous toddler, I'm going to give you a rundown on how to get laundry soap from carpet.

First, I dumped salt into all of the soapy spots, which really helped soak up some of it and keep it from spreading further before we could get to it.

After you vacuum the soapy salt up, then the real fun begins.

You pour hot-as-you-can-stand water into the soap spot, then you vacuum it up as fast as you can.

Then you pour more hot-as-you-can-stand water into the spot, then vacuum it up as fast as you can.

Then you repeat that about ten to twenty times, depending on how big or saturated the spot is.

You just keep sucking and sucking and sucking that spot until your arms fall off and no more soap comes up.

Then you cry a little bit and move on to the next, even bigger, spot.

It. Sucked. For Hours. Literally.

Anywho, we eventually did make it to the hotel that night. At around 7:45. We picked up some pizza on the way and let the kids swim until about 10. Not quite the night that we were hoping for, but we still had fun being together with Daddy before he abandoned us. :) And as angry as I was that Violet did what she did, I said several prayers of gratitude that she did it before Nels left for Miami and not after. :)

Besides, as big of a handful as she is, I think I'll at least keep her till she stops being cute. :)

We all survived the week that Nels was gone, without too many more swearing-at-the-kids moments.

A few days later, Hazel had a really fun folk-dance performance at school that Nels was able to attend with her.

She was really excited! :)

Within a couple of days of Nels getting home, I got an email from the lady processing our short sale at the mortgage company. She was letting me know that they'd come to the conclusion that our home in Idaho Falls needed to be listed as our "primary residence" in order for our short sale to move forward. Period.

I told her, "Great. As of today, it is our primary residence. My girls and I are just 'visiting' my husband here in Sandpoint."

She then got all nutsy on me about how our furniture needed to be there (DONE!) and she would need to send somebody by to inspect our house, "just to make sure" that we were really there.

I was completely annoyed, but just really, really ready to move things forward with selling our house. So I packed up the three younger girls and headed back to Idaho Falls for an indeterminate amount of time.

As much as I hate driving so far, the drive between Sandpoint and Idaho Falls . . . well maybe more like: between Sandpoint and Butte . . . is actually really lovely. Montana at dawn is stunning.

We made it to Idaho Falls, set up house and tried repeatedly to get a hold of someone to schedule a time for this unnamed "representative" to come over and "make sure" we were there. It was maddening.

In the end, after "Angi" had apparently checked the box saying that our I.F. home was our "primary residence", our file immediately got passed on to the next lady in the chain of command. I finally got in contact with this angelic woman a couple of days after driving down (again trying to get the name and number of this "mystical informer" who needed to come over to our house), as we spoke it became clear that the last lady I'd been working with knew absolutely nothing and the mysterious "person" who needed to stop by our house was actually just a third party who would probably just drive past our house (if anything) to make sure that it didn't look "abandoned". Which means that thanks to one person's incompetence, I drove all the way to Idaho Falls with three little children and stayed there for several days for no reason. Nice.

However, we made the most of the situation and were able to visit with a lot of friends and drove down to Utah to see my family - which was fabulous.

My sweet siblings all came up to my parent's house to see me and my girls on Sunday. I love my family. Love them. And miss them incredibly. We had a good time laughing at Genny's incredible dancing doggy. :)

Tuesday my mom went with me and the girls to IKEA and then to Gardener's Village in south Salt Lake, where Elsie and Violet had a grand time trying on a whole wall of scarves. It was a beautiful day and so nice to spend time with my Mommy.

One of my biggest original dilemmas about going to Idaho Falls had been that I wasn't sure I would be back to Sandpoint in time for Valentine's Day or Nels's birthday which is the following day. As it turned out, we didn't make it back for V-Day - which wasn't too big a deal - but Nels made it special for our girls at home by making them special heart pancakes and by "doing their hair really nice". :)

He's such a good dad.

We did make it home for his birthday the next day by driving from Idaho Falls to Bountiful Tuesday night and then packing up at 2:00 in the morning Wednesday and making it home to Sandpoint by about 10:00.

This is a picture of how Elsie "wasn't tired" on the trip back home. :) Violet didn't sleep at all the whole way, but Elsie and Clara slept most of the way home. They were all little troopers.

I'd had plans of making Nels a big yummy dinner and a cake that evening, but after driving all the way home the girls and I were completely pooped and not feeling real hot, so I promised Nels that we'd do it the next night - which he was completely fine with.

However, it seems that while we were in Utah, we'd contracted the plague and I spent the next several days sleeping on the couch or standing outside on our balcony with one or the other or both of our little babies while they tired to just breathe and cool off. Poor Violet and Clara both had raging fevers and congestion and hacking, hacking coughs. Elsie had pink eye and then Nels had pink eye. Then Nels and Hazel got the plague virus as well. It was horrible. In the end, right around the time that everyone else was starting to feel better (more than a week later - it was such a nasty bug!) I started to get sick. Because that's the way life goes.

We eventually DID celebrate Nels's birthday, sometime. I don't really remember when, it was all such a haze of tiredness, but I have pictures to prove that it actually happened. We're so glad he was born!

How could we not love him? He's just so awesome!

Happy Birthday!

TO

ME!!!

He's such a ham. No wonder our kids are weirdos. :) I'm so thankful for Nels. He makes me laugh daily and he's the best friend I could ever ask for.