Oh, what a Beautiful Sunday!

Today was the switch! The switch that I've been waiting for for two long years. The day we go back to 9:00 church! Ahhhh! Sweet blessed Sunday.

For the vast majority of our marriage, we have met for meetings at 1:00 or later. We've moved a lot, student wards rarely change meeting times, and every time we've been about to change to an earlier time slot, we move again. I do not like meeting at 1:00. With or without children.

Today was such a lovely, lovely day. We were up and ready by 8:45 --- all except me, who, because of my lack of hairdryer was . . . struggling. But the children were pleasant and relatively reverent through Sacrament meeting. Hazel bore her testimony today - all by herself. It was short and so very sweet. She knows that Jesus died and was resurrected. -- I love that girl. -- And then we had the whole day to spend together. Quiet. Easy. Happy. It was so nice. Rejuvenating.

Today has helped me to feel a lot more excited about the coming year. Not that I wasn't before, but it's given me some quiet time to reflect on it. A knowledge that each of the coming weeks will begin with a day of rest.

I'm not really into resolutions. I figure I can make changes in my life daily, if I so choose, but I have reflected a bit upon some much needed changes in my life and in my family. I'm also not one to really share those ideas, as I've found that I am far more productive with internal rather than external motivation. However, I do hope that the coming year will bring a measure of growth that I've been craving. Another year of change. Another year of joy. Another year of the Lord teaching me who I need to be and how to achieve it.

This year Nels will turn 30. I will turn 28. We will add another sweet little child to our family! Four children!! I'm so excited. My Lilie will turn FIVE. Hazel will turn SEVEN. And my little baby Elsie will be THREE. Nels and I will have been married EIGHT YEARS! I will have my TEN YEAR class reunion. TEN YEARS. A decade. Lilie will start Kindergarten and Hazel will be gone all day in First Grade.

Along with the excited expectations of the coming year, there is also a small measure of loss. I love this time in my life. I love the ages that my children are right now. Can't they get older and stay the same age all at once? It's hard for me to have my babies grow up. Really hard.

I have never really loved change. I like rearranging furniture, painting a room, cleaning a mess, losing weight. :) But growing up? That's been a hard one for me for as long as I can remember. Making new friends: hard. Moving as a teenager: hard. Graduating from High School and going to college: painful. Learning to pay my own bills and manage my own finances: undesirable. Learning how to be responsible: resisted. I could go on.

The only major life change that was never much of a challenge, never really painful or hard? Marrying my dear sweet Nels. I have been thankful for that decision ever day of the past seven and a half years. Even becoming a mother was hard. --- Until I asked the Lord to teach me. Teach me how to love being a mother. And he did. I. LOVE. BEING. A. MOTHER. It's hard. It's stressful. It pushes me to (and past) all limits I ever thought or think that I have. It is humbling. ----------- It is Joy. It is pains me when my children have to change, have to grow. But it's obviously necessary. :) For all of us. I am so proud of my children. The way they try. The way they learn. It brings me so much JOY to see them grow, as hard as it is on me personally.

There's a lesson I'm learning here. A link through my rambling. A thought surfacing.

As I look back through the past decade. A decade of adulthood. There has been a lot of change, a lot of growth. Some of it harder, some of it more pleasant. -- Most of it both. -- The times that it is most attainable is when I've got the Lord on my side. When I stop myself and ASK the Lord to teach me. Teach me how to feel the joy that can come from and during times of change and growth. When I put my faith in Him and his plan for me. Joy can be there throughout all of it. Through the hard and the happy changes. If I ask. If I truly WANT it.

I hope that more than anything else, this coming year will bring me closer to my Father. I have learned that so much of parenting teaches me about Him. My relationship with my Heavenly Father. His unending patience and understanding of my irritating weakness and shortcomings. I realize that I am truly a child. Learning, growing - just as my children are from me. It helps me to be more patient with my children and myself.

I am so thankful for this past year. For this past decade. And I am so looking forward to the coming one. For the changes in store. Hard and happy. Regardless of what this world and future brings, I know that it can be a time of joy and happiness for me and my family. I'm excited!