That Loving Feeling

We are no longer home owners. We signed the closing documents this morning.

My feelings are so conflicted on the subject, but overall, I'm am very relieved. Thank you to each and every one of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers over the past seven months. What a whirlwind it's all been. Thank you. Thank you.

Another chapter of our lives is now closed and the door swings wide open on this new one.

Eight months ago, Nels was working all night, yet again. He'd been working non-stop since the beginning of the month - getting ready for Melaleuca's Convention. He was stressed to the max. I was less than two months from having our fifth baby girl. I can remember standing in the laundry room tackling "Mt. Washmore" at half-past-way-too-late-at-night and suddenly just losing it. The years of late nights and stress caught up with me and I fell to my knees and told the Lord that I would do anything for Nels to be able to have a different job and be a part of our family again.

Three weeks later he was offered a job at Coldwater Creek.

This last weekend, we packed up our kids for a VERY quick and somewhat spontaneous trip to Idaho Falls to pack up the rest of our house and say goodbye, one last time.

Nels got off work Friday afternoon, we packed and waited for the girls to get home from school, threw everyone in the van, made it to Idaho Falls by about 2:30 in the morning. Bright and early Saturday, we hopped out of our beds on the floor and started organizing, packing, and emptying out my 55 gallon fish tank. A few friends stopped by to visit and help (Hannah Graf (+kids), Brian Carter (+new girlfriend), Ken Dudley, Mark Blethen). All too soon, the movers showed up and the real chaos began. Nels took the girls to Mark's house and I watched as our lives were slowly and efficiently packed away into box after box after box . . .

The movers left that evening with the promise of returning early the next morning to finish. As they were packing up for the night, our dear friends (the Joneses) stopped by to say hi and goodbye, before we rushed them out the door to go to dinner with some good friends from Melaleuca.

As we tucked our tired children into their floor beds for one last night in our home, I was completely overcome with emotion. Nels and I spent the next couple of hours reliving our lives in that home, laughing and crying. The children that have joined our family, happiness, injuries :), stress, loneliness, learning, jumping on the trampoline and swinging in the hammock, countless hours spent digging and planting in the yard and painting and loving every single wall. All the friendships that we've made, the people we've loved, and all the love that has been poured out upon us there. All. the. BLESSINGS.

So many blessings.

The next morning, the movers showed up at dawn, the girls and I took one last opportunity to say goodbye to some friends while Nels and Clara took one last nap in the dark basement, and then before I knew it, the huge semi was pulling away.

We quickly got dressed for church, stopped in to some neighbors' to say goodbye, and walked in (late! of course) to Sacrament Meeting one last time with those people who have been almost like family to us over the past five years. It was a sweet meeting.

I opened the hymnal to the closing hymn, took one look at the title, closed the book, and just let the tears roll. "Because I Have Been Given Much" I looked over to Nels and he, too, was teary. Because truly, we have been given so much. And even though we've not seen most of those people for half a year, they were still giving to us. We were greeted warmly and lovingly and couldn't get away without Sister Beverly Reed "gently insisting" :) upon "just running home real quick" and making us a full meal before we set out for home. :)

While Beverly was serving away in her kitchen for us, we took one last chance to say goodbye to our neighbor Bob Hart - who has been in the hospital for the last several weeks. I will never, never, never think of our lives in Idaho Falls without Bob being a large, shining part of it. Up until the last year or so when his health has given him some grief, there was hardly a single day that I was not greeted with Bob's warm smile and crazy stories. :) He and Ramona have been the best neighbors we ever could have asked for.

Beverly made an entire meal, fed us, and still made it back in time to conduct the closing song in Relief Society. :) She is both a miracle worker and an angel.

Back home we changed our clothes, packed up the van, dug up and potted a few of my friends that I just loved too much to leave behind, and called our children to pray one last time in our empty home. It was all kicks and giggles (literally) until then. (see below)

It started with Hazel, then me, then Nels (sort of {wink, wink}), and by the time the prayer was over Lilie and Elsie were just wailing too. We had a little cry fest while Violet went around hugging everyone and telling them that she was sorry :), then Nels packed his sobbing girls into the van while I said goodbye to my home.

"Smile!" Face

Real Face.

 Six months. To the day. Since we packed up and left in September.

As we pulled away, I couldn't help but think of my prayer eight months earlier. How the Lord has answered me and opened another path before us. The road behind us had been difficult in many ways, but so overwhelmingly good, too. We didn't have to move. It was the path we chose and it will be good  as well. I know it.

Saturday, I was talking to Lilie and asked her what she would miss most about living in Idaho Falls -- fully expecting an answer like, "my friends" or "my room", but

she hit the nail on the head and astounded me with her insight when, instead, she thought for a moment and then said,

"I'll miss the feeling here at this home."