I've been taking quite the blogging hiatus.
What can I say?
We've been living.
And summer in Sandpoint is, to me, what living is all about. :) I LOVE it here.
As I looked at the date this morning - the 20th of July - I couldn't help but think back to one year ago. We'd just returned home from our very first trip to Sandpoint.
It was a tumultuous trip, filled with hope and fear and peace and worry, but it was also a trip where I couldn't help but think over and over again, "I could live here."
It seemed to be a place of respite. A place where we could breathe and reconnect as a family. A place where life could slow down and where we could find peace.
And while there have been sacrifices that have come with the path we've chosen, I have felt the hand of the Lord here. I have felt His loving arms around me. I have learned --- deeper than before --- that my Father in Heaven is aware of me and my family.
It has been all that I hoped it would be. And more.
A year ago, today, I posted this post.
I said that I felt that PRAYER was the key to what I'd been seeking.
I've spent a lot of time in the past year thinking about prayer. A lot of ups and a lot of downs. Joy and tears.
What does it mean? What does prayer accomplish? WHAT do I pray for? How do we pray? How do answers come?
I've vacillated between feeling the need to pour out my every thought and hope and "order" in prayer and then feeling like I don't know why I should pray at all.
Not to say that I don't feel that prayer is necessary or that I don't have faith in the power or prayer or whatever, but feeling like . . . I don't know . . . what's the point? If the good Lord knows the beginning and the end, if whatever is going to happen will continue to happen anyway, then WHY do we pray at all?
Perhaps every prayer should just be filled with thanks and ended with, "Thy will be done."
This year has been a year of growth for me, and for us as a family.
I can feel the Lord teaching me. Guiding me in my journey to know Him and myself better.
Through faith, I am coming to understand what the phrase, "Thy will be done" means. That God LOVES His children. That He knows, so perfectly, how to give Good Gifts.
I am learning that our lives are our own and that Heavenly Father loves the individuality of us all.
I'm learning more and more that the Lord does hear and answer our prayers, that prayer is important, that He delights to bless us. I'm learning that as I continue to seek His will, keep His commandments, and then do my best, the understanding I seek will come with time.
I am so thankful for the past year that we've had here.
And I'm so thankful that we don't have to know it all today.
Thoughts on prayer? What have or are you learning? Share.
3 comments:
I have thought a lot about prayer in the last few months. I have decided that we (as in everybody) are in constant need of miracles in our lives. And God grants them to us when we come to Him in fervent, faithful prayer. These last few months, I have needed prayer more than I ever have. I have had so many questions that need to be answered, so many "where do I go from here?" moments. I have fasted and prayed more than ever for my husband. Almost once a week (I have found alternatives to fasting from food). It's been an eye opening experience. My prayers haven't necessarily been answered right away, but little by little dirt has been removed from my vision and I see some things a little more clearly, but not everything. I definitely have craved prayer and seen the importance of it in my life. And yes, I plan on calling you soon! I do need someone to talk to at times! Especially someone who knows house problems. :)
okay, i'm not sure this comment will make sense, but i'm going to try anyway! i've talked to several people close to me the past few months who feel that prayer is pointless {i'm not saying you feel this way, btw, i know you don't}, because of the same reason you said....if God already knows our trials, and what lays ahead, what's the point in asking for things?
it's so interesting, because in my opinion, when i have prayed in the past for someone to be "safe" coming to & from work, or for my kids to stay healthy, or for a certain trial to be "over" etc. that my prayers are not pointless but possibly a little immature. that if those things DON'T come to pass, am i setting God up for failure? so that i have someone to blame when my prayers aren't answered? again, the people i talked to about this have actually done this...they are angry at God and stopped praying because their prayers weren't "heard" or "answered." that he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants to, so what's the point?
anyway, this past year or year and a half, i have really worked on changing the tone of my prayers. my morning prayer is spent working on feeling humble, and praying to be an instrument in His hands, daily. that whatever he wants for me to do that day, that i will feel inspired and have the courage to act upon it and do it. and some days that might be just the regular day with my kids, but more & more often i have seen and felt inspired to do something different....either to write something that may help someone, or to call someone who ends up becoming a lifelong friend, etc.
and then i also pray for deeper things like comfort and peace and PATIENCE through trials instead of them to be taken from me, or my love ones protected from them, like i used to. and there have been several times when i have realized that those prayers have been truly answered.
i'm teaching my children to pray this way...to ask for courage, or comfort, or the ability to see themselves the way God sees them, or to know deep down that God loves them and knows who they are as individuals.
and my nightly prayers? are just full of gratitude. that's it, just gratitude.
and i can FEEL the difference in myself, praying this way. i have a stronger conviction of my divine nature, of my self-worth, of the fact that God does know me, he always has, and has never left me and never will.
maturing my prayers has made a huge impact.
sorry for the novel of a comment! i loved this post and think you are such a beautiful and inspiring person rachel. i love that you write these things, and reflect on where you were one year ago. isn't it crazy to think of just how much we can be stretched and grow and keep stretching and growing in just one year?
love you!
*WOW* great comment by lys...totally going to enrich my prayers...
rach-you.are.great. and I know you know that! I love that I have only seen you a few times sprinkled here and there over the past 10 YEARS and still feel SO connected in friendship.
thanks for always being honest. and open. and just truly you. i love that. there is no guessing what you're thinking or who you are.
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