Love Is All You Really Need

. . . of course, that's not at all true. But I count myself incredibly lucky to be surrounded by it.

This Valentine's Day we decided to spice it up a little. We didn't take any fancy dates, but Nels put on a party for ALL of us that made his ladies feel pretty special.

Heart pizza + all your favorite Stake Dance music + a bunch of Chicks = a Roarin' Good Time!

The girls were told to dress up however they wanted...Elsie's costume was a winner!

And to top it off with a smile . . .

this is a perfect example of how I feel after Nels points that stupid camera at me for the 348th time

In all, it was a really great day! We made lots and lots of glittery Valentine's the night before, the girls had a wonderful time at their school parties, then as soon as Hazel and Lilie got home from school we cut out about 60 hearts to go decorate Nels's car at work.

I don't generally get much into the "silly" holidays, but I do love the opportunity to take a little extra time to share the love I have with my little family. I'm so thankful that Nels set up such a fun night for us!

my {IDAHO} Love - displayed

I know I've said about it over and over and over . . . and over . . . in the past {gasp} thirteen! years, but upon first arriving in Idaho, I wasn't impressed.

I didn't like the high desert flatlands, I didn't like the wimpy mountains, I didn't (and still don't) like the wind and the icy cold, I didn't like the endless brown, I didn't like that Idahoans don't seem to understand public swimming pools. I didn't like that it was far away from my family.

But as the years have passed, I've learned to love Idaho.

I love the people. I love the small towns. I love the rolling wheat fields. I love the big center pivots watering massive alfalfa and potato fields. I love the geology. I even {secretly} love that these silly people pronounce the town Dubois "Du-Boys" - when everywhere else in the known world it would be pronounced "Du-Bwah".

I love late summer in Southeast Idaho when the wheat fields turn gold, the leaves and grass are a subdued green, the sky is the most perfect turquoise, and when the sun is setting my most favorite color palette comes to life right before my eyes.

Since moving to Sandpoint, my love of Idaho has taken on a whole new meaning . . . a year and a half into it and I've still not gotten accustomed to it's beauty. I still feel blessed everyday to live here and find myself smiling as I drive to and fro.

This last weekend I decided to really proclaim my Idahoan LOVE. I've said it in word, but now I've made it into art to be displayed in my house . . . What is this world coming to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last year when I was introduced to Pinterest, one of the first projects that caught my eye was this little number. I vowed that I would make one myself one day. Yesterday I woke up in the mood to create something beautiful, got on Pinterest, made a decision, spent 4 hours in front of the computer in my bathrobe overthinking the project, then got 'er done.

(wanna see more states? i think they are so cool! see HERE.)



What do you think? It was one of those nit-picky-type projects, but my brain really likes meticulousness. I had so much fun that now I kinda wish it wasn't over . . .

There's still a big chunk of my heart in Idaho Falls, but no matter where we go, Sandpoint will always be one of my favorite places on earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in case you're interested in making one of your own, some info:

-- my piece of wood is about 11x15
-- I made my state shape in Photoshop (could use any photo editing software or regular ol' map)
-- I painted with watered-down acrylic craft paint and then sprayed a coat of polycrylic over the top
-- I taped my map onto the board to use as a pattern - LIKE SO
-- Home Depot sells "specialty" nails/brads perfect for this that are 5/8" long in the fasteners aisle.
-- I used needle-nose pliers to hold the nails in place while I tapped them in with my little hammer
-- the string I used is just metallic sewing thread from Ben Franklin craft
-- this gal gave an excellent little picture tute on the best way to tie the string to your nails. genius. she not only saved Nels's delicate ears, but saved me much heartache.
-- once I got through with all the prep work (where I always spend at least 67x more time than is actually needed) and started with the actual nailing, it took me approximately two episodes of Downton Abbey and one and a half episodes of the Ultimate Fighter. :) For those of you unfamiliar with British soap operas and (Nels's obsession) Mixed Martial Arts, that translates into about 3-ish hours. Then I spent another hour or so wrapping string this afternoon. And if that seems like too much, just be aware that I spend far more time just staring and thinking than most people . . . For example, this picture and post. I told Nels when I sat down, "Now. I am NOT going to spend all night doing this." 2 1/2 hours later . . .

Good News, Good Night

It's only a little thing . . . but I wanted to record it.

For those times when the exhaustion comes crashing in and there are frustrated words at the close of day. I want to remember that there are a whole lot of sweet closings, too.

Tonight Nels stopped in for a quick dinner before heading back out to visit some families in the ward and then to go play games at a friend's house. I can honestly say that after ten years of marriage and nearly ten years of children, heading up bedtime doesn't bother me too much anymore. I really love when he's here, but it doesn't weigh on me like it used to. --- And "solo" doesn't happen even a fraction of what it used to.

On good days, I feel like a master conductor - orchestrating five or six different activities with grace. (On good days. Not all days. Many days feel like I'm in the middle of a dog fight . . . ) "Have you brushed your teeth?" "Lilie will you help Violet put on her jammies?" "Hazel, you need to finish clearing the table." All while trying to occupy Clara, while shoving dishes in the dishwasher faster than she can race back across the kitchen to "help".

Tonight, everyone was fed, dressed, and brushed before 7:00. Nice. I called the girls into the living room to read from the Book of Mormon for just a few minutes.

We really suck at Family Home Evening and I can't be on time to church to save my soul. We ROCK family prayer and scripture study is hit or miss --- more hits this past year and a half. Usually both are a little like a circus act --- and not a well-orchestrated one --- but tonight, it was just plain good.

We read from one of the final chapters of Helaman and the girls were full of questions. We had the sweetest discussion about baptism. About resurrection of body and soul. The Spirit was there and we spoke of repentance. Hazel sweetly headed up apologies to everyone present for anything that she'd ever done wrong; :) Lilie sheepishly followed her lead as she snuggled into my side, ending with a family hug and giggles.

Tonight the words, "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." (2 Nephi 25:26) These words have been swirling in my mind.

I asked my girls, "Do you know what the word "gospel" means?"

"No."

"It means 'good news'. The Good News of Jesus Christ. What does that mean? What is Jesus' good news?"

"That we can live again?"

"Yes. That we can live again."

Looking Out on a Better Point of View

Every year as winter wears on into February, I start to feel a bit gray. I mean, at this point, we've only seen the sun for a handful of days in the past 2 1/2 months and there's really no end in sight -- regardless of what Punxsutawney Phil predicts. Springtime in the Inland Northwest is a wet and cloudy affair.

This year I decided to find my own Vitamin D in Mesa with two of my most favorite people. 

Oh! Glorious SUNSHINE! It was heavenly! 

Clancy and I flew into 75 degree Phoenix last Thursday to spend the weekend laughing our heads off with our beautiful friend, Lynsey, resident Arizonian. Clancy and I have been friends since Nels and I first moved to Idaho Falls in 2006. Lynsey and I have been friends since introduced in 2002 by our to-be husbands (Nels and Ben) - who were roommates at the time. Lynsey and Clancy became friends through blogging and facebook, via Moi, so this was the first time meeting for the two of them. Fun, fun! The three of us have been trying to plan this meeting for the past 2+ years - only to be interrupted by pregnancy, babies, and moving.

But oh boy! it was worth the wait!

Lynsey, Clancy, Me

Thursday, after flying in, we spent the afternoon getting to know Lynsey and Ben's three beautiful children and trying to acclimate to the 60 degree temperature shift. :) That evening we headed to a hotel so that we could stay up until 4:00 in the morning laughing and talking without Lynsey still having to play mommy.

The next afternoon was filled with shopping in Tempe. Gyros, hippie shops, Urban Outfitters, and thrift stores. No heavy coats or boots. Aaaaaahhhhhhh . . .

Friday evening, we met up with Andrea to eat dessert for the first time in a month! and cry our little eyes out watching Les Miserables. 

 These next pictures need no explanation for their awesomeness.

Saturday was a day full of Firsts.

First massage . . . WOW!

First hike in the Arizona desert. I'm in love!

We hiked up to a lovely stream running down through the warm rocks.

There are petroglyphs all over the area and I'm guessing that at least some of them are original --- many clearly were not. :)

First time eating at Cheesecake Factory. Yum!

Clancy is a first rate Cartwheeler.

First time ordering a drink in a bar --- a drink called Ice Water, for which one must show your ID to a crabby female bartender.

This is our friend Grayson that we met at the bar. I'm guessing one of the only mostly-sober people there at 1:00 in the morning. He had a hard time believing that we have 12 kids between the three of us, was born in the Virgin Islands, and has some serious skills singing Bob Marley.

And first time singing karaoke --- in said bar. Terrifying, exhilarating, and our purpose for being at a hole-in-the-wall bar in the middle of the night! Two things: it is ridiculously difficult to find anywhere to sing karaoke on a Saturday night AND I honestly thought that I was going to pass out from fear and adrenaline at one point. Thankfully we all survived our anxiety, the creepies in the parking lot, and the hilarity of being in a dive bar after midnight. :)

singing Queen's "Somebody to Love"

Pat Benetar's "Hit Me with Your Best Shot"

and Clancy St. Crancy singing "Any Man of Mine" by Shania

Another "friend" HER name is Alex! :) She loved our song selection.

With two hours of sleep under our belts, we tearfully sent Clancy back to I.F. early Sunday morning and then spent the day napping, chatting, walking, and laughing at the Strader home. I'm so thankful that when Nels scheduled my flights he gave me one extra day. It was really, really great to get to spend some time with Dr. Benjamin! Both Lynsey and Ben have been two of mine and Nels's dearest friends over the years. I love them both so much and cannot wait to see them again.

The only thing that could have made the weekend better was if Nels had been able to be with us . . .

. . . particularly when, at about 10:00 at night we thought we heard a tomcat out in front of the house . . .

. . . only to discover that it was actually a drunk neighbor, who'd been stabbed repeatedly in the arm by his drunk father, crying for "help!" on the sidewalk!

No problem! First Responder Ben to the rescue with his sterile gloves and gauze . . .

. . . while the cops, firemen, and paramedics all looked on. LOL!

Oh, don't mind Ben . . . he's just bleaching a stranger's blood off the walkway . . .  WHAT?!

Monday morning dawned, having spent the entire night laughing and crying. Sleep deprivation at it's finest! My flight left at 6:25, while I desperately attempted to remain conscious enough that I could manage the 1 1/2 hour drive from the Spokane airport back to Sandpoint upon landing.

Thank you so much, Lynsey and Clancy, for an unforgettable and much needed weekend! You are two of the sweetest, funniest, and most fabulous women I have ever known and am so thankful to have you both! Thank you for loving and sharing so much with me. I have learned so many things that will help me be a better mother, wife, and Rachel.

And to Ben, Dustin, and Nels who all played Mr. Mom for the weekend to make this happen, we are forever in your debt!

Perspective

This post was written while coming off four nights with only about 12 hours of sleep. Forgive the "emo" but even though it may be jibberish, there are some things here that have been profound for me that I don't want to forget. I feel like I've found my tipping point.

It's 6:45 in the morning...and I'm sitting on a plane watching the Arizona landscape slide beneath me.

I've always been massively interested in maps. I love looking at them and following my progress across the beautiful countryside. I love the mile markers. I love the hills, the mountains, the valleys. I love the freeways and highways and country roads that at times snuggle up close and cozy and other times cut deeply across the terrain.

I've always loved flying. Since having children, flying has been accompanied with a great deal of anxiety, particularly upon take off and landing. I live for more than myself and that makes me nervous (read - terrified). However, even as I pray to see the faces of Nels and my girls again, I am completely enthralled with studying the world 35,000 feet below.

This weekend has been quite the trip. Spending three days with two of the most introspective women I know. Two women that I admire and connect with so much that they are some of the select few people that I actually care what they think of me. And that opens me up to some incredible vulnerability that I generally go to great lengths to avoid.

It was wonderful.

Not only did I get to gab the weekend away with Clancy and Lynsey, but I also got to spend the time with Lynsey's husband, Ben. Ben is: A) a dear friend, B) Nels's college roommate and bosom buddy, and C) soon to be Dr. Strader (currently in the final stretch of completing his doctorate in psychology).

I expected the weekend to be spent with lots of feelings, fun, and late nights. And it was. But I didn't really expect to be leaving Arizona feeling like I was in emotional shock. I've made some discoveries.

I live my life making maps out of what's inside. - Figuring out how to get from where I am to where I want to be. I have a plan and I navigate my way carefully, with great tenacity. And it works, for the most part. However, there are some paths that I take on (whether by choice or chance) that are difficult. I know that there is a stunning vista at the end of the trail, but I get to places that are frightening or that physically can't be traversed alone. Sometimes I try to go around the obstacles and the scary places, I try to muscle my way through the brambles or climb my way out of the canyons, but I simply don't have the right tools.

Sometimes I come to strong, wide rivers that I have to cross. I wade in, bull-headed and fighting the current. I will NOT LOSE. I end up holding onto a rock in the middle of the river, unable to go any further. It's too deep, too strong. At times I just climb up on top of the rock, sunbathing and happy, shutting out the turmoil. Other times I hop back in, determined to make it this time. I NEED TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE. Only to be swept just a few meters down to another rock where I claw myself out of the strong current and onto the next haven where I repeat the process.

Little do I realize that often the river never needed to be crossed, it just needed to riden. There was an easier and safer path at the end. Not as direct a route, but happier. And sometimes I don't realize that instead of trying to shove my through a tangled path or up a perilous climb, all I need to do is look to either side of me to find others who have been here before ready and willing help. They have the right tools and they know the way.

I'm trying to figure out why that's so hard for me to grasp.

Also, trying to get some new maps . . . or maybe just getting better at following the markers along the trail . . .