Repetition

Today was a new day. Thank goodness.

Yesterday went from crappy to worse - all fueled by my own emotion. For a soul that really truly desires stability and simplicity in my life, these last few years really have been a time of streeeeeeetching. Yesterday it was like all my pent-up emotion was being wrung right out of me --- through my eyes. :)

At times like this, all I can think of is that winter before Clara was born, feeling so restless and ready for change. Ready to take on new challenges. Ready for new adventures.

Then things changed.

Silly, stupid, naive Rachel.

Come to think of it, the same thing happened when I was fifteen. I can remember telling my mom when she picked me up from EFY that summer, "We could leave Coalville right now and never look back. I wouldn't be sad one day." Within two months, everything had changed and that move was the hardest thing I'd done in my life up to that point.

There seem to be patterns that continually repeat themselves in my life.

I'm stupid. And too bold for my britches. :)

Today I woke up with a tear-hangover, a plan, and some much needed sunshine.

We met with a mortgage lender today to talk about what we would need to do to be ready to buy a house next year. It felt so good and things didn't look nearly as bleak in that department as I had expected them to after the short sale on our house two years ago.

I even feel about 80% ready to tell our landlord that we will sign her year lease.

Poor Nels. He's really a "path of least resistance" kind of guy and I swear sometimes I think I'm a "path of most resistance" kind of gal. Hopefully together we can form some kind of balanced life.

Pics taken at Palouse Falls a few weeks ago.