Clara Lettice Chick

My sweet little Clara is here and we are so, so happy. She is very alert, chubby, fuzzy, and has lots of beautiful brown hair.

Clara Lettice Chick

September 2, 2011

6:35 A.M.

9 lbs. 1 oz.

21 3/4 in.

Throughout this last month of pregnancy, as I've recorded several times, I'd had a lot of contractions. A week and a half ago when we went into the Birth Center, believing that the baby would be born that night (and then wasn't), the midwife said that I was completely effaced and she guessed that once I actually went into active labor, it would be very quick.

I continued to have off and on contractions throughout the next week. Mostly on. Last Monday night they started coming irregularly (anywhere from 4 to 13 minutes apart) and lasted for the next THREE days! Walking and everything else I did, didn't really speed them up or help regulate them and I was getting tired and frustrated. By Wednesday afternoon I called my midwife to ask for some insight or help. She told me to come in Thursday morning to the Birth Center and she would check to see how far along I was and give me some herbs that would help.

Thursday morning came and I was feeling very hopeful. It seemed that the baby had moved down even further and I had several appointments to keep me occupied and busy that day. As I was getting ready to head up to her office, she called to let me know that they currently had two other women potentially in labor and she just couldn't bring me in and intentionally induce active labor at that time. We would try again the next morning.

WAhhhh-ha-ha-ha!

I was sad. And I felt like this baby was never coming out. :) I really hate getting to this point in pregnancy. I hate knowing that I am acting like an idiot -- recognizing it -- and still feeling entirely the same. Having lost all willpower to control my emotions and thoughts. I was starting to be convinced that my body didn't know what it was doing and just wouldn't go into labor on it's own. --- Or that once it did, I'd be over my due date and getting ever closer to Nels leaving and starting work in Sandpoint.

The day finally ended and I went to sleep that night exhausted - knowing that I would be back up at 3:00 in the morning for my nightly ritual of having contractions on top of a full bladder, waking up, using the bathroom, and then not being able to fall back asleep before the same thing happened again.

Well, I did wake up just before 3:00. I used the bathroom and lay back down. A bit later, a REAL contraction came on. A good, hard, deep wave of a contraction that you don't sleep through. Nine minutes later, there was another one. During the contraction, I thought, maybe I should wake Nels, but then it was over and I decided I should just time them for a little while. Nine minutes later, at about 3:45, I changed my mind and we were both up. As soon as I stood up, they started coming closer together, but I still really didn't want to jump the gun - having already done that once before. So we slowly got dressed. Nels kept asking me what we needed, but I was so distracted within myself that I couldn't give him any clear direction. Poor boy. :)

I think I only had another two contractions before I decided that I should really call my midwife and my friend, Stefanie (to come over AGAIN to be with the kids). Michelle (midwife) grilled me on how close together the contractions were, but because I'd really not had that many, I couldn't give her much information. She made a few phone calls to set things up and called me back with instructions to meet her at the Birth Center in half an hour. Even in the small amount of time between me calling her and Michelle calling me back, the contractions had become closer together - ranging between 2 1/2 to 5 minutes. Between contractions, I kept worrying that I was rushing things again, maybe I shouldn't go in yet . . . but then another would come and remind me that we shouldn't be hanging out at home any longer. Bless Stefanie for sleeping with her phone next to her bed and being willing to come over at a moment's notice.

We arrived in Rigby at about 5:15 in the morning. The contractions were good and real, but I still had yet to really relax into any of them, having an underlying feeling that once I did, this baby was going to be here fast. Once getting there and getting set up, there was both relief to know that I could now actively encourage this little baby into the world and also a lot of apprehension. Having done this before, only 18 months ago, I remembered what was coming and I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't scared. :)

But, trusting in the process, relax into them I did and it WAS fast.

I find labor really interesting. I find that who I AM during labor is really interesting. Some women love having lots of touching and support. Lots of encouragement. I am just not like that. And I'm glad that Nels is okay with me retreating into myself. It was really nice that once we got there, Michelle just kind of gave me my space and Nels laid down on the bed and everyone kind of just left me alone.

I walked around the room for a while, trying to decide if it was more productive for me to be on my feet or if I should go sit in the tub and just concentrate on the contractions. Eventually the lure of nice, hot water and not having to use all my other muscles to hold myself up won out and I got in the tub. I wish there'd been a clock handy, just for my own curiosity of how quickly things moved from then -- time seems to lose all meaning during labor -- but there weren't more than a few contractions in the tub before everything changed again and I could hear Michelle whisper to Nels that it wouldn't be much longer.

When it was time to push, I thought there was no way that what I could feel needed to happen, was actually going to happen. It is just the strangest thing to get to a point where you cannot describe how intense and uncomfortable you are and you know that the only way to get out of it, is to intentionally cause yourself more pain.

Right then both mine and Nels's alarms went off on our phones - letting us know that it was 6:30. :) Time to get the kids up for school. :) And I remember seeing through the window that the sun was just coming up. Little Clara came into the world quickly, but it was a LOT of work and even as I was doing it, I was yelling that I didn't want to do this. :) I remember with Violet, once her head was born, it seemed like the rest was just smooth sailing, but Clara was just . . . a lot of work.

In just over three hours from when the first contraction came, my little Clara was born and as soon as she was, I cuddled her up to me and admired our beautiful little baby -- with Nels just over my shoulder. She was healthy and perfect in every single way and Michelle kept saying what a big baby she was. -- But she didn't look very big to me. Just pink and beautiful. Everything was so calm and good. I don't know why I remember, but the song "Yellow" by Coldplay was playing. One of my favorite songs of all time. We took about half an hour to just sit there and hold our sweet little baby.

We got all cleaned up and once they finally weighed that little girl, she was 9 lbs. 1 oz!! My biggest baby by a pound and a half!!! No wonder pushing was harder with her than with Violet. :) She was also 21 3/4 inches! Such a cute little chububba! :)

Michelle and Me

We settled into bed, called our families, and fell asleep for a few hours -- long enough for Michelle to monitor that both Clara and I were stable and doing well -- and then mid-afternoon, we went home. It was perfect. So nice to come home to my own bed and my own shower. :)

It was just such a beautiful day.

I know a lot of people wouldn't want to do an out-of-hospital birth. I know a lot of people wouldn't want to do a natural birth. But for me, it's worked out to be such an incredible experience. I love feeling like . . . my body is doing what it was made to do. I love the process. I love the power that comes from doing something that seems beyond my ability to accomplish and coming out whole on the other side. There is truly a one-ness with God that comes as you hang that realm where this life and the next are threaded together. It's just really beautiful to me.

I'm just so thankful to be a mother.