Sometimes I let pent-up irritation loose. In a big tsunami of words and emotion. One minute, calm and laughing - the next minute . . . I'm drowning. A lot of people would say that this is healthy and normal. You just have to let it out, so you can let it go --- kind of mentality.
But I can tell you from experience, this is usually not the case. Letting your mouth run free, rarely solves anything. And it's irresponsible. And it's usually rude.
And honestly, it doesn't really make anyone feel better. Least of all me.
All I'm left with afterward is this unsettled feeling that seems to go in one big round from the middle of my chest right up through my brain. This antsy, anxious, cycle of irritation. Like a hamster wheel, going around and around and around, making my eyebrows pinch together and my foot bounce.
I hate it.
I should have chosen a different path. There is a better way.
Many people seem to have a hard time speaking up about things. I tell you what, it is perhaps an equally important skill to learn when to just be quiet.
8 comments:
Uh-oh. {hugs} Lets get together and play next week. Weather should be nice!!! :)
You are outstanding Rachel! I love you! I love how you so perfectly explained this. I agree, I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut =D. I love you tons! 10 days!!!
How did you know I am this way too?! I just did this same thing, oh uh....yesterday! I felt awful and had to apologize. The sad thing is, for me any way, is that I do this to the people I love the most (husband/children) which makes my guilt all the more awful!
You are not alone in this! Thanks for writing it down and sharing!
I know the feeling all too well. You are definitely not alone in this. (and thank you so much for the comment on my blog - it made me feel much better). :)
Totally get what you are saying...I often run my mouth only to wish that I could take it back..thanks for sharing
You know me. You know that I have a common practice of letting my mouth say anything my brain thinks. Or in the case of poor Mike Siddoway, doing anything my brain thinks(I still can't believe I slapped him). I hate it. However, I have found that I am also, as a result of this awful curse, an excellent apologizer. I'm still working on the keeping quiet thing also. Love you.
it's funny because i have a tendency to be the opposite....stuff it all down and tell myself to just "deal" with it. then i end up holding onto resentments that i have been keeping in my heart. NOT good!
i agree with you, that when i swing to either side of the pendulum of either not enough expressing or expressing in a "blow up" way, it's hard because i think that at least for me, i know how much i've let myself down. i've compromised the standards of who i want to be, who i know i CAN be.
and i usually can look back before the blow-up or resentment to see where some sort of internal boundaries have been crossed, you know? where either i've done something for the wrong reason...like out of guilt,{usually} or that i'm expecting someone else to meet my needs without voicing them, and that instead i could have chosen differently long before the resentment started.
you are such an amazing person, rachel, someone i look up to and admire so much! we all make mistakes, and we learn from them, and we keep trying. and i think one of the most important lessons i have learned in the past year or so is to apologize, let others forgive me, and then forgive myself.
love you love you love you!
Beautiful! Absolutely truthful and frank and oh so true. It only takes a few million times of letting my mouth run to realize that "running mouthy emotions" are not part of the grand scheme of things. Self control, love, forgiveness, kindness.....turning that daggum other cheek over and over again is part of the plan. I just read the Sermon on the mount, sat back in my computer chair, and closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself living that doctrine. I was a tough exercise but I could muster a faint image. Next time I am tempted. . . I shall have to re-read your post.
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